


TN Gennesis of Obsession

by VioletVision



Category: Terra Nova (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Attraction, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, I Ship It, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Romance, Shipping, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 10:55:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 49,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12231411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletVision/pseuds/VioletVision
Summary: Commander Taylor and Jim begin their hedonistic obsession with each other.  Episode one (Genesis) begs to have added scenes and a full development of what was not being said between all those hot glances.  Smut ensues.





	1. Attraction

**Author's Note:**

> The Ship takes me away from canon because the hotness demands it!

“Citizens of 2149…I am Commander Nathaniel Taylor, but you probably already know that. Congratulations…” Taylor projected in a deep voice from the command center. 

Jim Shannon turned to the baritone voice. The impact of all that is Taylor overwhelmed his senses in a rush of adrenalin that sailed thru his veins. It was like being struck by a moving vehicle…instant and deadly.

Taylor stood in radiant sunlight that shone down on his ruggedly attractive face, muscled body and well-developed arms that promised nights and days filled with unrelenting ecstasy. Taylor radiated pure sexual heat like a pent up inferno waiting to consume. But, it was more than just Taylor’s body that threatened to captivate Jim. 

Hope. Confidence. Strength. Attraction. 

Jim shook his head slightly. It had been just over two years since he had reacted to a man’s presence. The paltry reactions in the past had never flared this primal or seductive. With others, it had been more of a need to find another instead of an unseen force that threatened to pull him forward trapping his sense of self within the control of another man. 

What the hell is happening? Maybe it’s the new place. I’m just not use to the sunlight yet. I don’t feel attracted to him. I. Do. Not. Feel. Attracted … feel attraction. Remain calm. Calm. Not again. Never again! I will not give in again. No, it’s not happening again. It’s just too much oxygen and sun. He lied to himself, and tried to pull his eyes away from the charismatic form standing above them while his traitorous pulse thundered throughout his body. 

He trembled, both guilt ridden and needy. He promised himself that his wife and children would be enough, but they were not. He promised himself if he got out he would never ask for anything else and be thankful, but his body already was asking for more. He felt as if his grasp on some truth was slipping, but what was it that he vowed to remember?

Jim could not tear his eyes from the older man. His eyes were locked as if he held a suspect in his sights. Something elusive. Something that would get away if it was not watched closely. Something dangerous. 

Attraction brings danger. His mind yelled at him in remembrance. Yes, that was what he was trying to remember. That was his chant the last two years while he was locked away in prison. 

Unbidden, memories flashed in his mind of betrayal. The last time Jim gave into attraction to someone other than his wife, it had resulted in the man demanding that Jim leave his wife and children for him. The man resorted to threats of telling Elizabeth about them.

Jim did not tell Scott that Elisabeth already knew. Jim knew that Elizabeth understood from when they first met that he sometimes found himself needing something more than she can provide…the strength and care of another man’s arms. It was like an intoxicating dream just out of reach and forbidden for him, but he watched others dwell there. It was his secret that gained power and strength over him the more he denied it till it broke forward in anyone’s direction that would sate the hunger. 

Elizabeth was willing to over look it because she herself had what she believed to be a darker secret, which she always kept carefully hidden from all others except Jim. Both of them understood that they truly loved each other and would never want to be parted, but each of them had needs that they cannot fully satisfy together. With mutual understanding and situations brought acceptance. 

Jim could feel the sensations of arousal almost fully fade as images of a man who he thought cared for him threatened him with something more dangerous. He threatened to turn him into to his cousin who was an officer of the Population Control division. 

When Jim broke things off with him permanently, Scott followed thru on his threat. Scott’s cousin showed up at his dwelling and his men searched their place. This fact tormented Jim the entire time he was in Golad Prison. He remembered the officer whispering to him that he would never see Zoe again because she was the third child and law states you can only have two. That was when Jim snapped and punched the guy while trying to get to his daughter.

In the present, he started to feel the unrelenting electric shock from the stunner coursing over his muscles.

No. That’s in the past. It will never happen again. I will never put my family in danger again because of selfishness. Jim blinked trying to fight back the visions and sensations of the past by focusing on the moment he was in. 

The sound of Taylor’s voice and the force of his presence soon penetrated the darkness of Jim’s memories. His mind started to drift over other memories. This time they were of Taylor’s tall muscular frame wrapped in black military fatigues on lottery applications. He remembered viewing Taylor as being a symbol of freedom and adventure. 

While incarcerated, Jim had sat alone in a toxic filled room telling stories to himself that he would be released and that his family would win the lottery. It was a hope that kept him being able to stand the cold loneliness of his cell. He was in the moment that he had wished for, but his mind was trapping him in the past. 

Jim stood listening to Taylor welcoming the new comers to a new life while breathing clean air and standing outside in sunlight. It was starting to sink in that he was one of the people that Taylor was welcoming to Terra Nova. 

Welcoming me and my entire family. A dizzying sense of surrealism almost overwhelmed Jim as he started listening to Taylor again. Oh, he had been listing to the sound of Taylor’s voice for the past few moments, but not the words.

“…we destroyed our home.” Taylor paused while scanning the crowd with a determined expression as if waiting for the full meaning of his words to sink in before continuing. 

The impact of Taylor’s words slammed into Jim. No, I destroyed my home. I gave in and destroyed my home. Stop it. People are watching. Act normal. I need to be strong. 

Jim was always the one that others turned to for protection or to make things right. Even on the police force, the other police officers would trust that he would be able to do near impossible feats to save them. He saw the trust in their eyes. He wanted to let it go even for a short time. 

The small voice of need was getting louder again. What he needed was to be the one feeling he was protected from harm and being taken care of or watched over. 

In that moment, Taylor personified strength. Taylor was a man who survived harsh elements and dangers. Taylor was a man Jim could get lost in and surrender to. As their eyes met for the first time, a sinking feeling almost brought Jim to his knees.

_________________

Taylor spotted Jim standing in the center of the group with his family surrounding him. No place in Terra Nova for risking the group for your own selfish reasons. He’s a threat. 

Taylor noticed flashes of sadness and loss flicker in the younger man’s eyes. This he did not expect from a threat. He was a man who broke the rules, and threatened his family group by his very presence. Threats were suppose to be angered or self entitled enemies who were seeking to destroy what Taylor had built, but he could sense only sorrow and longing. 

Taylor’s own anger was tempered at seeing the defeated look on Jim’s face and his rigid stance. He almost wanted to go to the man and offer comfort, but he did not know why.

“But we have been entrusted with a second chance…a chance to start over…” Taylor locked eyes with Jim for the first time, and Jim lowered his gaze as if in guilt or humility then glanced to his wife. Interest sparked in Taylor. He watched Jim’s wife Elizabeth tip her head toward Jim in an acknowledgement or understanding of some kind. The three children never noticed the interaction.

They had an extra kid, he got locked up, and he arrived with her and the extra child. But, what I don’t get is this feeling that something else is going on here. Trouble? We shall see. We shall see. 

“…a chance to get it right. Welcome to Terra Nova folks. Welcome home.” The crowd started to clap, and Taylor joined them giving a nod to one of his men.

Taylor entered his office, reclined slightly in his chair, and picked up his report about the Shannon family. He already spoke with Lt. Washington about keeping an eye on them as they entered, and to be watchful for any attacks just in case if Jim was planted in the 10th for more nefarious reasons. 

Can’t trust the reports. I need to decide for myself what’s going on here. I’ll focus on her first and see how each of them reacts. Does he let her take the weight of the blame, or will he intercede? Will they lie? 

Will Jim’s voice sound as hedonistic as his body looks? Shocked at himself, Taylor started to scowl. Whenever he found someone attractive, he tended to show the exact opposite reaction. 

It took three months before Lt. Washington called him on his actions of always acting displeased with everything she did even if it was perfectly what he asked for. She had called him on it believing that he did not like women in places of power. He then laid his cards on the table and the next thing he knew she laid him out on the table climbing on top of him. About the time he switched positions with her and pressed her into the floor, several of his men came in and later claimed they thought that a dinosaur had broken in and was killing Wash. He had to go to the infirmary after the incident to get stitched up. Wildcat Wash.

Taylor got a new desk out of it the very next day. Wash had a table made out of the dinosaur he killed the day before. She called it a trophy table. 

Taylor ignored the couple that walked into his office and instead of talking with them read Elizabeth’s file, then set it down on the trophy table to stare Elizabeth in the eye. 

Dr. Elizabeth Shannon started to interrupt his intro to his own personal interrogation of her, but he just stood to display his dominance in the situation and continued only talking and glaring at her. 

“What am I to make of this?” Taylor still stood behind his desk waiting to see who would react to the question. 

Jim stepped forward proclaiming his wife’s innocence saying she did not know he planned to escape prison and be a stow away.

Lie. “Didn’t she? A man doesn’t escape from Golad without help from the outside.” Taylor was not sure yet if it was sheer luck the wife managed to arrange to get him out and to Terra Nova, or if they got outside help from his enemies. 

Could be a spy dressed up as a happy family victimized by the system for having an extra child.

Jim claimed they did everything because they would not let them take his child to Terra Nova.

Truth.

Taylor expressed that he did not care about population laws from the past, but that he cared if someone was useful or not. He pointed out that Jim was not useful and only an escaped fugitive.

Taylor’s mind detailed erotic positions that Jim’s body would be useful for and enthusiastically played visuals of Jim’s naked body eagerly straining against his driving them both to release. Taylor quickly shut off that train of thought. Keep your eyes on her. Talk to her. Damn it.

To his last statement, Elizabeth spoke using the theme from Taylor’s speech back at him, “Commander Taylor, all we’re looking for here is … a fresh start. We just want to be a family again.”

Want to be a family…truth. She’s transparent. Not good at pulling off a lie even if someone else is the one doing the lying. The intensity of her conviction and desire to have her family together were things he also shared. He also wished that he could have his son back, and that things would we alright between them. Ok, I buy it. Now, what about him? 

“Well, Dr. Shannon we are pleased to have you here. Lieutenant Washington will show you to your kids. I’m going to have a private word with your husband.” Taylor turned to give Jim some room, so that he could close in on him when he needed to get a reaction. 

Why did I send both of our women away? Why do I feel like the one on display? Stop. Focus.

He pointed out that Jim was a cop and Elizabeth was very accomplished. All he while his fingers were laced in front of him using them to gesture. He kept them laced as much as possible in order to stop them from trying to reach to unbutton Jim’s shirt. 

He noticed that Jim clasped his fingers in a similar stance, but left his arms hanging free and not bent at the elbow like his were. 

Jim’s trying to play along with me. He wants to play agreeable when I need him to react so I can see his agenda. Well, we can fix that.

Taylor then asked why they risked everything by breaking the law that limits families to only two children.

“It seemed like a good idea at the time.” Shannon’s flippant response was combined with an expression of a teenage boy getting caught speeding in a vehicle.

Impulse my ass. That’s self-defense if I have ever seen it. She must have gotten pregnant, and they could not bring themselves to kill the fetus. They chose life for the child at the risk of destroying their life. Loyalty. Let’s push past this stupid act to his true feelings and agenda. Time to close in. Time to kiss him. No. Time to push him. Yes, against the wall and rip his shirt open and slowly devour his chest and neck with my tongue, lips and teeth while my hands... NO! Focus. 

Taylor moved away from the desk getting closer to Jim becoming more aware that Jim was an attractive man and that his body reacted with closer proximity, “You thought it was a good idea? That you’d actually get away with it. Good grief son what were you thinking?”

Am I laughing at him or at myself?

Jim’s smirk and playful tone drained away and was replaced by a darker impatience, “What’s between me and my wife is none of your damn business. Now are you going to lock me up or what?” 

Taylor was starting to smile enjoying Jim’s new reaction and deeper voice. That’s a bit more forceful. Interesting. My vote is for “or what”.

He mused to himself that it was time to get ugly and toss out a threat for good measure. “What I ought to do is throw you outside the fence and let you fend for yourself.” You could take it and survive, but could you take me?

“No what you ought to do is give me a gun and a badge and let me do what I’m good at. There must be some bad guys around here need catching.” Jim’s every movement was a taunt and his eyes were filled with playful mockery that he could be useful if given a chance. 

He means what he’s saying. 

Taylor’s mind continued playing over possibilities. But, does he mean me…that I am the bad guy that needs catching…did they send him to get evidence against me? Is that how he got out and here? Did they give him a get out of jail free card and let him slip by security at the platform so that he could enter Terra Nova looking like a victim of the system? Did they let his wife think it was her idea to bust him out, but helped her get him out without her knowing? Did they threaten him into doing it by holding his third child Zoe captive if he did not come here with this pretend story of escape keeping it a secret even from his wife? If so, his wife really is not in on it. She does truly believe he escaped. She has utter trust in him. I cannot afford the luxury of trusting anyone. 

Taylor found himself wanting to continue this up close banter with Jim. He felt almost desperate for it. His body cried out to close the distance and wipe the smirk off of Jim’s lush lips with a fiery kiss. There was a reason why he should back away. Yes, there were reasons. Lots of reasons why…he should press their lips together and explore him with his tongue and taste him. Yes, taste was a reason. The reason was intoxicating. Reason? What the hell! Damnation I’m getting off track. 

Ok. Or, is he just fishing for a way to be useful to fulfill his wife’s goal of family reunification? Damnation! I can’t tell. He is messing with my mind. Such pale blue eyes wild with determination and wicked playfulness. I hate this…this…attraction. He could be a spy, he could be in it with the Sixers, or he could be a man loyal to his family who would allow or turn down my advances. Just one night of sizzling seductive sex would not be enough to…focus. 

He’s a threat. Focus! I need distance. Don’t touch him…touch him. Walk away and for God’s sake sit down. 

Taylor could feel the traitor in his pants hardening at the sensations of Jim’s breath fanning over his slightly sweaty skin. He turned away from the embodiment of temptation standing before him.

“Agricultural detail is down a man. That’s all.” Taylor sat down making it obvious the conversation was over. He witnessed Jim letting out a breath. Is he having the same reaction to me that I am having to him? The traitor in his pants yelled YES, but his mind scanned Jim’s body…no he is just relieved I did not lock him up. 

Taylor clenched his hands and placed them slightly over his lap to hide the traitor who was becoming increasingly hard to ignore.

Taylor’s mind raced as his words hung between them. If everything he says is true and if everything is the way it appears, his motives were not selfish after all. He was protecting the family group with his life. Even now with me, he shielded his wife from blame and pushed to point out he is useful if given a chance. He is trying to make her happy. He is trying to meet her goal of being a family again. Self sacrificing. Maybe. Friend or foe? New threat or new obsession?

Jim persisted in having the last word, “According to my daughter, I have the opposite of whatever a green thumb is.” Jim tried to point out that growing things is not what he is good at, but he would still try to prove himself worthy to Taylor. 

No, the traitor is making it obvious you can make things grow. I really don’t care what you think! I need to stop talking to him. Taylor did not know if the “him” he needed to stop talking to was the him in his pants or the man before him. Taylor pondered that the traitor residing in his pants started to press forward pointing at whose side he was on. 

Taylor smiled and nodded to hide his desire. He fought the urge to move from behind his desk and press himself against Jim. It had been over ten years since he had to deal with this level of attraction and sensual bombardment. Sure, Wash and he were each others go to person for sex when it was needed. They always had a great time stripping each other and going at it hard and fast to sate the need. 

But after this personal debate with Jim, he wanted to take his time discovering the virile man’s body. He desired…no needed to find what areas on his body elicited gasps of pleasure when licked and what fantasies fulfilled would bring moans of ecstasy. His mind played visions of undressing Jim slowly.

“I’ll do my best.” Jim turned reluctantly and left. 

Taylor’s eyes filled with intense suspicion that verged on anger.

I need him to stay, but I want him to go. I am so attracted to him that I’m not thinking clearly. He is everything God could have promised and everything the Devil could temp me with…Truth.


	2. Desire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have also incorporated Taylor/Wash sexual and relationship elements. Is everyone having sex with Taylor these days? Oh well, enjoy. *ponders to self if this is turning into a Wash/Taylor and Jim/Taylor PWP*

In the darkness of early morning, Commander Taylor rolled to the edge of his bed and clenched his hands on the edge of the mattress. 

Proper planning and preparation prevents piss poor performance. He chanted within.

A full evaluation of the acceptability of the recruits and requested individuals along with a full review of all accompanying supplies was already finalized. 

He was pleasantly surprised that his request for acoustical surveillance equipment made it into the supplies. Taylor had already sent out an alert order to all outposts concerning any Sixer activity following a pilgrimage to give more precise directives for identification maneuvers using the new equipment. 

All is in order.

It was Orientation Day for the 10th and his mind was focusing on reviewing the new members of the colony who were lottery winners. He assessed each new group of winners closely for any signs of being turncoats like the Sixers. 

Taylor opened his brilliant blue eyes to scan around for his pants when he focused on his Plexpad holding the newly altered general orders for the watch towers and the Shannon file. 

The Universe at your fingertips. His mind spoke the slogan for the data access device then altered it a little. Jim at your fingertips.

Jim. His mind kept offering to him unbidden as desire flared to life again. Desire was always there now just under the surface waiting for even the slightest provocation to break free. Jim was becoming an obsession that mingled with even mundane thoughts. He was becoming tangled up in everything Taylor thought about. Somehow every thought always came back to the rogue cop. 

What I don’t get is of all the people around here, why him? Why the cop? He asked himself and tried to fight back the craving that was steadily consuming his buffer zone. It threatened to destroy the safe harbor he built deep within himself that protected him from strong affectionate emotions. 

Survival, evasion, resistance, and escape…Taylor repeated to himself trying desperately to save himself. I survived close proximity to him. I gave him a work detail far away from the command center tower, so that works as evasion…distance. Now, I just have to resist till I can escape this constant longing. 

Jim. His mind whispered again. He could see how immediate everything was to Jim. He could see how happy Jim played and joked with his children and wife. Taylor felt almost left behind in his sorrow while Jim danced around with his happy family. It was a life Taylor had once held for himself so many years go. Before…

Slipping thru the cracks into his consciousness was his lost love’s voice reciting one of her favorite quotes by Richard Bach, “It is by not always thinking of yourself, if you can manage it, that you might somehow be happy. Until you make room in your life for someone as important to you as yourself, you will always be searching and lost.”

Violent pain seared Taylor’s heart, and he closed tight the wall that was slipping within and barricaded it with sheer force of will and cold determination. He held his breath till the chilling wall of resolve closed once again around his exposed heart. 

Why is this happening now? Taylor almost did not dare to ask himself.

Jim. His mind offered unrelenting.

Jim with his steely gray-blue eyes that beg for redemption and a release of painful secrets...his mind presented in flashing images from their close interaction in the command center tower the day before. Jim had found a way to patch his family together and make them whole. 

Could he do the same for me? Could he make me whole? I need everything that is Jim. His understanding, his happiness, his pain, his closeness, his warmth, his touch, his body…

Taylor started to tremble like a live wire of pent up energy.

No, I need to make sure he is one of us first. I need to be sure he is not an enemy combatant. He rebutted glairing down at the hardened traitor pulsing in his lap. 

“Stow it.” He growled quietly back knowing he could not walk around aroused all day again. He thought last night would have helped. The man just kept showing up everywhere. “Damnation.”

Nothing is helping. Am I truly searching and lost?

A hand snaked up over the naked skin of his back sending chills over his powerfully built body. Taylor closed his eyes letting his lips part as he leaned back into warmth of another’s body. A second hand wrapped around his ribs and trailed lower into his lap gripping the hardened traitor by the shaft.

“If you want to go again this morning, don’t deny yourself. I told you I want you. Just go with it.” A voice whispered into his ear. 

Taylor released a sigh he was holding back.

“Just go with it. Don’t worry about me. I want you. I will always want you. You know I don’t care if someone is added to your bed as long as you don’t kick me out of it. Nothing works for me anymore but you. Nothing else is enough. Besides, you know I like to watch. He seems like he would be interesting. He certainly seems interested in you.” Lt. Alicia Washington breathed into Taylor’s overly sensitive neck as she stroked his long length.

“What?” Taylor’s relaxed pose went rigid then he moved to get a better look at her face. Wash stilled her hand as she was not use to this reaction. 

Wash knew he could read her face easily. She tipped her head to the file then raised an eyebrow. Her expression and previous words told him that she knew about his desires for Jim Shannon.

Jim showed interest in me? He wanted to ask, but did not. 

He held his blank face look in place not letting her see a response. He always deiced what response he was allowing people to see. Even now, even naked in bed with Wash with her hand gripping him, he would not relinquish his carefully held control. 

Wash watched his unmoving face knowing he was putting mental distance between them. She knew something was harming him. Something about Jim. She remembered her jaw falling open when they were in the command center the day before. That was the moment Wash knew. 

“When you told me to take her out to her children, I saw the way you looked at Jim Shannon the moment she turned away. You watched him the way you normally watch me.” Wash explained.

Taylor remained silent and unmoving.

“It’s the way you watch me when I strip for you. Don’t misunderstand. I don’t see him as competition. I see him as an addition. I don’t want him, and he doesn’t want me. He already has a woman…a wife. But he does watch and want you.”

Taylor still gave her nothing to go by.

Wash gripped harder with her hand, “Just go with it. Come on. Give me that look again. I want to see that you want me. Don’t you want me? Or are you going to try to kick me out of your bed again telling me I’m too young for you and that you’re my superior? The same could be said about Jim for that matter. Just because you’re the commander doesn’t mean that you have to be alone. I’m right here. Let me have you. Let me take you.” Her last few words came out in a whisper. 

Wash watched him with pleading eyes trying to make him understand how much this meant to her. She hid nothing on her face while offering her body to him.

There was nothing she could do about Jim at the moment, but she knew what would wipe off the blank stare he was giving. She could at least do that much for him…a man who gave so much to save so many…to keep hope alive and hold back despair and death. 

Wash’s hand had stilled at his initial response, but now started moving again slowly till his eyes told her he was having a conflict about the whole situation. 

He was still thinking, and he needed to stop thinking. He needed to act.

“Ok.” Taylor blinked a few times and released the tension in his shoulders and neck just enough for Wash to detect. 

Knowing he needed more, Wash’s eyes flicked over his body and paused on her hand that was stroking him. She let her desire for him show fully on her face knowing it was an offered invitation to continue where they left off. 

Wash pressed her soft breasts with hardened nipples against Taylor’s well muscled arm and darted her eyes to Taylor’s eyes to watch the predator being unleashed. And what a powerful untamed beast he was. Nothing could equal Taylor.

She would not be the one doing the taking. Wash started to tremble with excitement and anticipation. Both were things that feed his beast. 

Wash gasped as she felt herself lifted airborne for a few seconds then landed in the center of his bed. A blissfully stunned Wash panted for contact as Taylor stalked over her naked flesh. 

The intensity in his eyes had once scared her. But, she now knew that the predator’s only desire was to devour her passion…not harm her or change her.

He was the only man who had ever scared her, but he was also the only man on the planet she trusted to protect her. He was the only man that invigorated her and made her well aware she was female and being stalked by a superior male.

She wanted to grab a hold of him and sink her teeth into the muscles of his shoulder as he in turn sank his hard length inside her. 

Wash moaned with desperate need, as his heated skin finally made contact again.

Taylor’s voice was deep and raw with desire, “Ok, we’ll just go with it.”

_________________________

 

Taylor and Wash used their binoculars to watch the new arrivals to the pilgrimage while walking around the command center tower. On lookers would never guess that both of them had been tangled in a sexual embrace just hours ago. They were the perfect picture of regimented military control. 

“Well, are ya going to tell me who’s next on the list and where they’re placed?” Taylor lowered his hands squinting over his right shoulder at Wash. 

Wash remained silent giving him her blank face, “Persistent surveillance is in place concerning him, so we don’t have to review his activities.”

Taylor raised his eyebrows slightly and tipped his head watching her movements as she then trained her eyes to the far fence of the settlement reciting the location from the list. He did not need her to say who he was going to watch next. He knew. Taylor also knew that because the he that they were not naming was a stowaway and that it was in his alert order to initiate surveillance, but he did not know that she had activated it. Well, now he knew. 

“I thought we might skip him.” Wash added in deadpan. 

“We are not skipping anyone. I don’t care who’s watching him. I want to review each person myself.” Taylor stepped forward raising his binoculars.

Wash inched forward and whispered while trying not to smile, “But, he works with his shirt off.”

It was too late. Too late for Taylor to change his mind, too late for him to look away, and too late for him to care about anything except a shirtless Jim holding a machete up in the air about to bring it down on another wooden vine that clung to the wooden perimeter fence.

Taylor’s eyes ate up the scene of Jim’s strong arm chopping down on vines repetitively. 

Taylor’s breath quickened as he zoomed in watching each muscle bunch and stretch from the movement. He moved lower noting the tight fit of his pants. He wanted to reach forward and grip the brown leather belt that hung low over Jim’s hips and pull him back to Taylor’s hardened body. 

He zoomed back watching the muscles in the younger man’s back as Jim reached his arm up to hold onto one of the horizontal polls. Taylor noted a giant centipede insect, the thickness of Jim’s wrist, started to crawl across Jim’s hand. 

Jim’s body froze in place then jerked suddenly causing Taylor to lean forward pressing the binoculars painfully against his face. Jim dropped the machete and let go of his only grasp on the fence causing alarms to sound in Taylor’s mind of the possibility of Jim falling onto the machete or breaking his neck from a fall. 

“Never release your weapon.” Taylor spat out.

As Jim fell from a sizable distance, Taylor still held his binoculars in place and stepped forward only to slam into the rail of the command center tower. It was as if somehow Taylor’s mind thought he could make it to Jim in time to catch him. 

The impact with the rail moved the binoculars off of Jim who was now on his back on top of the brush he had just chopped down. Taylor cursed moving them to scan for where Jim fell. 

Instantly, Jim jumped to his feet and spoke briskly with two people who were walking by. 

“Move!” Taylor ordered as if the two individuals could hear him. Once they did move, he zoomed in closer and inspected Jim for any signs of wounds. 

No ripped cloth showing blood, check. No blood on his back or arms, check. Muscular neck begging to be licked, check. Wait… Taylor felt confused but relieved.

“He’s ok.” Wash had her binoculars watching Jim as well.

“I can see that Lt. Washington.” Taylor barked crisply.

Wash whispered, “I tried to warn you about the shirtless thing.” She then spoke in her usual voice, “I’m going to review the base plan and adjust the timelines.”

Taylor ignored her and instead watched Jim mount the wooden fence again. 

Jim attacked the wooden vines with new determination. The centipede looking insect, which scared him into falling, was long forgotten. 

He’s a city cop. Who the hell is supposed to be teaching him what to do? And where the hell are they? I don’t understand how they can give him a machete and turn him loose on the fence of all things. He’s going to end up killing himself before the end of the day. With his shirt off, he looks like six feet of Dino bait. Like he’s saying come and get me Slashers!

You could teach him. You could show him the way. A voice inside offered. 

Shut up you traitor. Gosh damn nuisance. Taylor had to adjust himself in his pants for the second time in the last three minutes. 

Wash returned thirty minutes later to find Taylor watching Jim just as intently as before. Taylor was leaning forward with his hips pressed against the rail with a death grip on the binoculars. 

She found it amusing that Taylor was so quickly seduced by Jim, but she made sure to keep the smirk off of her face. 

At that moment, Jim made it to the top of the fence and leaned forward to throw his leg over to straddle the wooden fence. He threw his hands into the air smiling like he climbed to the top of Mt. Everest. 

Taylor breathed in Jim’s triumph and carefree enjoyment of a job well done. It was like a release of satisfaction that filled Taylor’s lungs with every breath. 

Taylor noticed his rock hard abs had well defined lines deeply entrenched that begged to be licked. It did not escape Taylor’s notice that the handle of the machete jutted out provocatively between Jim’s legs. Jim did his fence triumph grind while Taylor watched the protruding handle trace and bounce off of his abs. 

Taylor barely heard Wash say, “Your arms look better than his.”

Jim lowered his hands between his legs, grabbed the fence and rocked back and forth for a better position with a little bounce. Taylor growled deep in his throat wishing he was the fence or at least on the fence pressed behind him.

“How’s it going Commander?” Wash projected with her voice then whispered, “Want to take an afternoon break with me? Get a bite? You look like you need another hard ride.”

Taylor lowered the binoculars away from his eyes, but kept the rest of his body still. 

Wash glanced around to make sure no one heard her.

Taylor finally ground out while taking his knife out of its holster, “Ok. Let’s go.”

Wash backed into the command center thankful that she kept spare clothing inside because Taylor was about to cut her clothing and gear off of her. She knew it was faster to get naked that way. 

The man was nothing if not proficient.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so it was not Jim in the bed with him. How could you possibly think I would just throw him into the bed without telling how he got in the bed? Assassination attempts and job offers whilst alone OTG anyone?


	3. Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter focuses on Jim.

Lunch with his wife resulted in drinking what tasted like sour milk, being told to let his son throw tantrums, and finding out there was a thief committing crimes in Terra Nova. 

One, he wanted to eat a steak and drink a real glass of wine.

Two, he wanted to tell his son to suck it up.

Three, he wished he had the authority to interrogate the thief and review all of the information on the crime. 

Damn. I’m a cop not a yard boy. What was it Taylor said he likes? Oh yes, usefulness. I’ll show him I’m useful. 

Jim walked back thru the lunch groups that formed in different areas of the square listening to what everyone talked about. He was listening for any information about the thief. With his cop senses attuned to his new surroundings, he pretended to look over everyone’s wares and review the food that he knew he could not eat. 

That kind of looks like steak. Jim mused. 

Jim paused listening to three men talk about fishing and stored that away for his to do list. 

While reviewing some type of fruit, he eavesdropped on two women who appeared to be in their twenties quietly chatting about how attractive someone was. 

Jim scrutinized another piece of fruit trying to make sense of what they were saying. 

“Resident B.A.M.F is so so so so so hot. Do you see the way he walks? He is always adjusting that gun harness thing. Oh the things you could use that for on a man like him. And, his arms are always flexing in different places. Makes you want to walk up and lick them each time a muscle jumps in his arm. My boyfriend keeps telling me to stop staring that it embarrasses him. I told him everyone stares at the man. Oh and he is sooooo the man! I fooled around with Scott last night and told him I like it when he growls just so I could pretend that he was him. Don’t tell Scott I said that. He’s just so hot.” 

It took Jim a moment to figure out what the letters stood for before hearing the dark haired women respond to the blond, “Yes, that Commander Taylor is just so screw-able. Wait, he is like seven years younger than my parents. Nope. Not even that will stop me. No, I don’t care how old he is. B.A.M.F.” 

The blond whispered back, “B.A.M.F I know. He’s in his fifties, but his body looks better then the military guys running around here who are in their twenties. I wonder what he likes in bed, and who he’s seeing now.”

“What do you mean now? Did he break it off with that woman from environmental studies?” The brunette breathed incredulously lowering her voice even more. 

“No, my boyfriend Scott says that scuttlebutt is they broke it off about four months ago. But, someone said they were never really seeing each other. So I don’t know who to believe. No one really knows.”

“So he has been single this whole time?” She chirped.

“Not exactly.” The blond picked up a piece of fruit and paid for it.

“What does that mean? Come on tell me.”

“Ok, but you can’t tell anyone else. He might be doing Lt. Washington, but they don’t date or anything like that. I think it’s just a sex thing. Tom told Scott he heard two guards talking about how a month ago they heard Lt. Washington yell out. They thought that a dinosaur just broke thru the wall and was killing her in the command center. They barged in finding broken furniture. Then saw a bleeding Taylor over top the Lieutenant. He told them to leave. You see, he was doing her on the floor. They looked at her, and she told them to get out. They stumbled out listening to her telling him to do her harder and faster. One of the guys later told Scott that if Taylor went any faster or harder they would break thru the floor. They called it a Taylor Tackle. Could you imagine? A Taylor Tackle.”

“A.T.T. You got a pretend one from Scott. I want one. A real one.”

Both women erupted into laughter that stole their breath and drew several curious onlookers’ attention. 

“Are you still going to try to go after Commander Taylor?”

“Yes. Oh and the hot stowaway cop is apparently married. I passed him when he was walking with her and their children to their housing unit. I just could not make out what eye color he has. Are they blue or green?”

Jim offered calmly even though he started agreeing with the women that he himself wanted a Taylor Tackle, “Kind of a pale blue.”

Both women froze in place and slowly moved their eyes to the side to see Jim picking up an item and turning it over in his hands. He set it back down and nodded to them, “Have you heard anything about the thief they caught earlier today?”

They shook their heads no and fled in embarrassment. 

Jim chuckled to himself and turned away toward a group of soldiers who were eating near a tower. He listened to their conversation for a few minutes and left in disgust because the men were talking about the Taylor Wash incident. 

Someone is stealing and all they can talk about is how Commander Taylor likes to have vigorous sex with Lt. Washington. Jim steamed to himself knowing he might be late returning to his work detail. 

Why did they take me off of the fence? I thought I did a great job. I only fell once.

Ten minutes later, Jim reported back from lunch as his supervisor droned on about what he would be doing next. It was as bad as Maddy explaining universe expansion; he could not grasp the importance of everything being said because he did not know all of the jargon. 

“…otherwise the roots get hydroxic.” 

My ears are going to start bleeding soon. Maybe Taylor meant to torture me with this…Taylor Torture Tactics 101 hang out with the agricultural department. “Hydroxic.”

“Right.”

“Right. ” 

The man blathered on, and Jim took the device from him wondering if anyone had questioned the thief yet. 

“Ok.” Jim’s senses sparked as his eyes locked on a man wearing a jacket that did not fit him right who was attempting to hide a sidearm under it. Jim’s cop eyes detected how the gun was positioned under the jacket. His mind yelled for action. 

“Are you listening?”

Of course not you smart idiot. Something’s about to happen. Gun. Suspicious non-military guy in ill fitting clothing with a gun. Walking quickly like he is on a mission. Gun.

“Now like I was saying…”

Jim tuned him out focusing on the dark haired man who was picking up his pace even more. His mind yelled at him again about danger and the need to follow the man with the gun. 

Jim brushed off his superior and stalked after the suspicious man. 

Jim ended up getting close to the plaza in front of the command center tower when he spied the man pulling the gun out lowering it to his side.

Jim sprinted into action racing to overtake him. He burst into the market knocking over several containers yelling, “Taylor get down!”

Jim grabbed the man just as he shot and threw him to the ground landing on him. Thankfully the shot went high and wide. Two soldiers jumped forward to restrain the man under him. 

They pulled him away as Jim strove to remain calm. 

Why is he trying to kill Taylor? What possible motivation would he have? How did he get the gun? Has this happened before? How can he look so damn calm when he was just shot at? Jim questioned internally.

“Throw him in the brig. I’ll deal with him later.” Taylor commanded while noting the anger on Jim’s face. He found Jim’s performance quite exhilarating. He had been more concerned with watching Jim’s body and his dark expression than the gunman. Even with the constant desire distracting him, he knew that to him Jim was much more dangerous. 

Jim advanced on Taylor.

How dare you stick me with agricultural work when you obviously have a serious problem around here? Was this what the eye twitch was about yesterday? Is this guy his ex? Were they lovers? Maybe those women were wrong and it was a guy that Taylor dumped not some woman from where the Hell ever. He’s carrying on like its business as usual. What next? Is he going to dump Lt. Washington, and she’s going to set claymores around his housing unit? Why do I feel betrayed? Jim fumed with jealously even as he felt his body responding to the closeness of Taylor. 

Jim tackled the man with the gun, but he really wished he could tackle Taylor. 

Yes, maybe you are the one in need of a tackle. Jim almost said out loud glaring at Taylor. 

Jim wanted him. He knew it was dangerous to allow himself to be with another man. A potential betrayal like the last that almost cost him his family resided behind the guise of the strength of another man’s arms. His resolve started to wane. He wanted him now. He wanted to claim him for himself. He wanted Taylor to say something…anything.

He’s leaving. Like hell. I want some answers. He’s not ditching me in agricultural work. I’m useful damn it!

“You want to tell me who that was and what the Hell’s going on here.” Jim spoke a little petulantly and pointed toward the man being hauled away while never taking the full force of his eyes off of Taylor. 

Jim almost panicked. What did I just say to him? I asked who that man was. Did I just sound like I was accusing him of cheating on me and demand to know who the other man was? Oh. My. God. 

Taylor glanced away then back to Jim peering over his body to the protrusion easily outlined on Jim’s pants. 

Taylor spoke slowly in his deep gravel voice, “Come on, let’s take a drive. There’s a lot about this place you need to know.” 

Jim blinked wondering. Did he just look at my pants? Well, I guess it’s obvious I’ve got a damn hard on. Now he wants to be alone with me. This may not be a good idea.

Jim stomped around to the passenger side of the vehicle. “OTG?”

What if he’s offended and is going to take me out and kill me? What if he’s into it and wants to take me out and fuck me? 

Taylor gave him another once over. “OTG. We need to talk, and there is something I want to show you. Get in.”

Jim gave Taylor his own once over. “We can talk here. We are talking right here already. What do you want to show me that you can’t show me right now? It is a place you want to show me?”

Taylor raised his eyebrows, “Yes.”

“Where is the place at that you want to show me?”

“Here.” Taylor lowered his right hand from the steering wheel to his thy and used his left hand to adjust his gun harness all the while letting his impatience show on his face.

Jim followed the movement of Taylor’s hand down to his leg then to his hand that just released the harness. 

He wants to show me here? Where? He put his hand down to his leg and his gun? He wants to show me his leg or gun but not here? He wants to go OTG to show me his…ohhhh. Surely that is not what he means. Or is it? I have no idea what we’re talking about. Those idiots at the market were right, he adjusts his gun harness all the time. He’s not going to shoot me or fuck me. He just wants to talk and show me something. Now whose the idiot…me. 

A confused Jim stumbled over his words, “Um. If um uhhh. It’s here then why do we um need to go out there?” He waived his hand to the gate.

“I can’t show ya here from here.”

Jim struggled with himself. Why does he keep tapping his hand on his leg? Is it impatience or is he referencing showing me his body? Oh. My. God. I am losing my mind. He was the one just shot at by an ex lover, and I am the one losing my mind. What would he do if I just walk away? He would follow me. Where would I go that he cannot follow? My housing unit. No one else is home right now. I could hide in the bathroom. He would break in then we would be alone together. And he would be madder than he looks right now. 

Jim’s mind pictured Taylor sliding his hands over him, and Taylor’s teeth biting him. Together. Alone. He reached out to the vehicle to steady himself.

Taylor watched with his blank stare wondering why the shooting a few moments ago was disturbing the younger man so much, “Are you ok? I thought cops didn’t get spooked around gun discharge.” 

What is that suppose to mean? Gun discharge? Now he’s rubbing his palm on his leg. Does he mean the actual gun that was just shot or his gun in his pants that he wants me to go OTG for him to show me? Is he asking me if I am skittish about him having an orgasm or me having one or us having them together? What the Hell? Is he talking to me about sex? 

Jim stood there with his lips slightly parted, but said nothing. He could not speak. He did not even know what they were speaking about. He no longer had any idea what Taylor had said or what his replies to him were. 

Jim closed his eyes and mouth then opened his eyes squinting at Taylor. 

So be it.

Jim got into the vehicle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not even get to the water fall and the lovely look down at Terra Nova from the mountain. I am so behind schedule. LOL! I was thinking this would be 3 chapters max, but there are so many parts to the ep. What do you think?


	4. Misunderstanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter focuses on Jim and Taylor traveling to the waterfall.

Taylor put on his black gloves and drove out of the gate pondering why Jim was acting like Taylor brought him to Terra Nova and was then keeping secrets from him. He acted like they were close confidants and Taylor was actively not sharing intelligence reports. He demanded answers when he should have just been thankful Taylor did not kick him outside the gate for his unauthorized appearance at Terra Nova. 

He’s a cop. Jim knows all things are not as they appear. He stopped the shooter, so he is not in it with the Sixers or sent here to kill me. That puts him closer on my side. He needs to understand what’s at stake here. Yes, I am keeping secrets from him and will continue to because I can’t fully trust anyone. Not yet. Not with the colony at stake. 

Last time Taylor trusted a man he was close to, he used it to twist Taylor’s arm. Well, the man thought he was twisting Taylor’s arm. Taylor let him choose, and he did not pick Taylor. The other man chose his own advancement. Taylor reminded himself that Jim is a different kind of man. 

Jim is a straightforward and honest man.

Wash helps, but I need more. I need Jim. I need Jim’s skills as a cop, and I need his companionship. I just need. Damn it I can’t just pull over and take him right now because…well…because. Just because. Wash thinks he would be into it, but I don’t see it. I’m so messed up when it comes to Jim. If you don’t know what to do, do nothing.

Wash suggested earlier that day after they had sex in the command center that he use Jim’s skills to help with their Sixer problem. 

He became strangely curious how Jim’s mind worked. Taylor remained silent drinking in the scenery as if he had never seen it before. He was trying to see everything OTG and ITG through Jim’s eyes. Through a cop’s eyes. 

What does he see when he looks at me? Taylor tipped his head to the side and eyeballed Jim for a moment then went back to outwardly ignoring him. 

Does he see a strong leader or a man who is older than him? Taylor felt a moment of self doubt. This new feeling and thought reverberated in Taylor’s mind for a moment then was quickly dispelled as a foreign entity that did not belong. 

Looks nervous. City cop in the jungle. He must be expecting a dinosaur attack. I’ll give him some time before I make the job offer. Just glad he’s not working on the fence any more. Can’t have him falling and breaking bones.

___________________

 

“This is going to be a little more than a little rough. You might get jarred around. Bruised up. So you need to take precautions.” Taylor spoke while adjusting his seatbelt in his lap knowing in a few minutes he was about to go off road down a trail he made for himself. Driving a vehicle that does not have doors can be risky under these circumstances. 

“Hu?” Jim kept his eyes on the farming road that stretched out from Terra Nova’s main gate. 

Rough? I guess I don’t mind rough sex. Maybe not to start with, but rough works for me. Precautions. Does he mean lubricant? 

Jim replied, “Not sure how rough, rough is to you. I don’t mind bruises though. It comes with the territory.”

Taylor took a deep breath noting that Jim still gripped the side of the seat. “Jim, put your seatbelt on.” 

“So we aren’t stopping anytime soon? Ok. Yes, seatbelt. Sorry. Got distracted again.” Jim pulled the strap across his waist. He made sure not to look in Taylor’s direction not trusting that he would be able to avoid Taylor’s hand that was still placed on Taylor’s seatbelt strap. Jim kept peering ahead and fumbled with the buckle for a minute. 

Jim held his breath and froze when a helpful hand pressed down over his forcing the buckle into place. Taylor’s grip was like heated steal. 

A rush of heat and dizziness flooded Jim as his heart started thundering in his chest. 

Jim reveled in the contact knowing this was the first time Taylor had ever touched him. The texture of the gloves pressing into his skin was a delight. The cut off parts of the gloves allowed Taylor’s fingers to make direct skin contact that reverberated heat. 

He’s touching me. He’s holding my hand in place. This isn’t rough. Strong, but not rough. He’s touching my hand.

Taylor kept his hand in place remembering he made adjustments to the larger buckles, so Jim might not know how to work them, “It’s not the kind that hooks to the side. It just goes straight in. It’s larger so you have to use a little force sometimes. Works pretty good. Better than most. I thought maybe I feel that way because it’s mine, but Wash told me the same thing.”

Jim almost choked on his own tongue and started to sputter, but words were not coming out. He was momentarily stunned silent believing he was listening to Taylor’s description of his large gun in his pants. 

You’re still touching him. Taylor’s mind offered causing him to return his gloved hand back to the seatbelt strap across his lap. 

Taylor chuckled remembering that when he first arrived he was stunned by how sunlight changes how bright and vibrant things were, “I know. It can be distracting around here. Sometimes I forget what it felt like when things were new to me.”

“Here?” Jim remembered their earlier discussion about Taylor wanting to show him a place and when asked where Taylor tapped his lap and said here. Jim scrutinized everything but Taylor.

“Yes, here?” Taylor raised his eyes to the trees.

Jim risked a glance to see Taylor tug again on his seatbelt in his lap to tighten it even more. 

Why does he think this is my first time starting a relationship with a man? “It’s distracting, but it’s not exactly new to me. One before this one.” 

Where are we going? A cabin? Do they have cabins here? Taylor could build one. Are we going to talk about it first? What does he plan to do with me once we get there? What does he expect from me?

Taylor nodded remembering that yes Jim had been OTG once before…when he arrived, “So this is the second time for you. You look nervous. Does this time feel any different?”

Energy buzzed over Jim’s skin as he was convinced that Taylor took him OTG to have privacy to explore their chemistry. He kept repeating to himself that he was the one that got into the vehicle willingly and left with Taylor. His skin tingled, and he could hardly believe what was happening. 

Wind rushed around in the vehicle giving a feeling of freeness to Jim. It had been a long time that Jim was trapped in his prison cell. On his second day of freedom, he was exhilarated to find himself being chauffeured around by the legendary Commander Taylor OTG. 

Jim’s last relationship with a man resulted in being locked up for two years, but this new start with Taylor felt lighter and safer, “It feels like freedom.”

Taylor smiled thinking of how the serene scenery can distract you from predators lurking, “Well, don’t get fooled. It can be dangerous.”

Jim agreed that it would be disastrous for his children to find out about him having a relationship with the commander, “Elizabeth and I don’t really talk to the kids about this kind of thing, and we should keep it that way. It might scare them.”

Taylor wondered why the Shannons would not talk to their children about being OTG. He would want them to be a little afraid to go OTG as a deterrent. But, he thought who was he to tell people what to say to their children since he had so obviously done such a bang up job with his. “Ok. Do things your way.”

“Ok.”

“Ready?” Taylor turned the vehicle toward the path slowing down some.

Jim gasped at the prospect of driving off the road into the jungle, “We’re going out there?”

“Yes. We’re about half way there unless you’re not up for it.” Taylor grit his teeth and prepared for offensive driving. 

Jim replied while his heart accelerated, “I’m up for it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, that concludes the drive. I could not help myself with the rough and buckle misunderstanding joke. LOL! The next chapter should pick up when they arrive.


	5. Surprise

Taylor pulled the vehicle around into a parking place he made for himself that was between some bushes where he could hide the vehicle after getting out. 

He jumped out and checked his perimeter motion detectors to make sure they were all functional. He knew that if dinosaurs or Sixers were in the vicinity, they would warn him. 

Taylor started to wrap his side of the vehicle when he became aware that Jim never got out of the vehicle. 

Looking in the driver’s side Taylor spoke, “If we’re going to do this, you have to get out.” He meant it to be amusing. 

Apparently, that was not how it was received.

“I can’t do this.” Jim had his hands flexed on his legs while his voice dropped to almost a whisper. “I just can’t. I just can’t do this.”

“It’s just a little walk then we’ll be there.” Taylor tried to smile reassuringly as he was sure now that the city cop was concerned about dinosaurs chomping him in half. 

“I said no!” Jim climbed out of the vehicle and started marching out into the jungle. “I don’t like to be pressured. Not anymore.” 

Taylor charged after him, “You can’t just stomp around out here. It’s not safe. I put mines out there off of the path.”

Jim froze in place, and Taylor stopped several paces behind him. “Ok. Drive me back.” Jim went back to the vehicle and got in leaving Taylor standing there alone.

Taylor turned back to where the younger man was now sitting in the vehicle. This was not going as planned. Taylor wanted to march up the waterfall explaining the situation to Jim, so that by the time they got to the top Jim would be impacted with the view of the colony. 

What the hell is happening? He said he can’t do this. Do what? Be OTG for long? 

Taylor’s mind quickly offered that Jim had just arrived in Terra Nova and that there were always a percentage of people who did not handle it well at first. He remembered that in each group at least fifteen percent would still carry their re-breathers concealed somewhere on them for fear that bad air would find them. Ten percent usually had bad dreams about bright lights or even dark toxic fog coming for them that took on the guise of a dinosaur. He knew that a few people were not able to start working immediately because they would fear even leaving their dwellings. It was natural to react. That’s what happens when the pollution is so bad that you cannot even see the moon in the sky at night.

Taylor strode over and got into the vehicle, “Ok. I’ll take you back. I should have given you some more time, but I thought and well even Wash thought you were up to this.”

“You talked to Wash about this?” Jim asked mortified as he stared at his hands in his lap. 

Taylor put his hands on the steering wheel, but did not turn it on. “Yes. She said I should use you…that you were being wasted in...” 

“Use me?” Jim cut him off starting to sound upset again.

“Well, that’s what you want isn’t it?” Taylor did not want to ask Jim to be the colony cop this way, but sometimes you have to adjust a plan when the situation called for it. 

“Use me? That’s one hell of a way to put it.” Jim’s temper was rising even higher, but he kept his voice from yelling again. He felt like there was a threat in the air because Taylor was letting him stay in the colony, but what if he changed his mind. Jim could not be separated from his family again. It was just not an option. What felt like freedom a few minutes ago, now felt like a cage. 

Taylor turned completely to Jim knowing now that something is very wrong. He saw the wild look in Jim’s eyes as if he was trapped and looking for a way out. He knew that look. He had it himself before. “No one’s using anybody. It’s ok. We’ll just go back ok? You need more time to get use to everything.”

Jim said nothing but put his hands over his face. “Are there going to be repercussions from this…from there not being a ‘this’?”

“No one’s going to force you to do anything you don’t want. We can keep things as they are for now. If you want, talk to Elizabeth about it then we’ll talk about it again later.” Taylor was not about to make Jim walk around OTG or be a cop again if he did not want to. 

“I can’t and don’t talk to Elizabeth about things like this. It’s too embarrassing.” Jim removed his hands. “She pretends nothing is wrong, and I pretend she doesn’t notice.”

Taylor was watching Jim even more intensely wondering if he perhaps needed to have one of the nurses give Jim something like a mild valium or even a sleeping aid, “You need to talk to someone.”

Jim’s voice was quiet now as he peered blankly out the front windshield, “And say what? I’m a failure, a fraud, and a coward? It’s not just this. I…I was betrayed by a person I thought I could trust.” Jim raised his hands then put them back down.

Taylor remained silent. Watching. Calculating.

Jim continued, “I was betrayed, and it felt like reality warped. In my line of work, I have seen just about anything, but I was not prepared for that. He…he was suppose to be someone I was safe with. My partner. He tried to make me chose. I will always side with my family. How could I not choose my child? I thought he knew and understood that. So, he told Population Control about Zoe. Then as a consequence, I lost two years with them. Two years…being locked in that place. Things like this make me feel like I’m back there, and no…I can’t talk to Elizabeth about it. She wouldn’t understand. I don’t think she wants to. I just can’t do this. Any of this. I just don’t…I have no idea what I’m saying. I’m loosing my mind.”

Taylor turned back in his seat knowing that Jim needed a minute. He saw the man shaking in the pain he was holding in. Taylor wanted to wrap his arms around the other man, but knew what he really needed was to talk about it. When Taylor had been captured by the enemy, it messed up his mind and way of thinking for a while till he found someone to talk to. Letting it all out was painful, but the only way to release its grip. 

Taylor thought Jim was talking about his police partner, but Jim was talking about his last male lover. Taylor believed that Jim’s cop partner tried to make him chose between the law and Jim’s 3rd child. Taylor remembered what helped him start to let go was when Wash told her stories to him about things that had happened to her.

Taylor leaned back in the seat and stared out lazily into the jungle. His voice was low and matter of face, “I was forced to make a decision once. A parent will always choose their child over anything or anyone else. I know my wife did. Don’t know if you heard, but I was captured by an enemy a long time ago back in the real time. They used my family against me to catch me. After that, they took a sick pleasure in messing with my mind…” 

Taylor continued to talk for over an hour about his captivity, and how his men found and released him. When he stopped, he did not look at Jim as Jim talked about what his life had been like in prison the last 2 years.

Taylor could sense in Jim that he was releasing the negative energy that had set him on edge earlier. It was helping.

Jim ended by asking Taylor one question, “What was it like being here alone?” Jim’s voice was calm and quiet. Jim felt as if telling the dark secrets and pain he kept in loosened their hold on his heart and mind. It did not feel like such a dark and evil thing now that he shared it with someone else who knew and understood because they experienced a similar situation. 

During the recitation of the next set of events, Jim turned to Taylor and laid his head back on the seat. 

The soothing caress of Taylor’s voice penetrated Jim’s heart healing some of the damage that had been done to him in the past. Jim determined that Taylor was honorable, and would not actively harm him or his family. Strangely now, Jim felt safe with him. He felt that Taylor would be the one to protect them all instead of placing any of them in harm’s way or keeping his family apart.

Jim watched Taylor’s mouth move and watched Taylor flex his arms while he gripped the steering wheel. Each movement was a dance of muscle under the skin. Jim’s mind started to offer ideas about Taylor gripping Jim that way. Heat had already taken the place of nervous fear. 

“Thank you. I think I’m ok now. We don’t need to go back. I’m ready to give this a try.” Jim turned back facing forward when Taylor said nothing.

Taylor checked his control device to ensure there were no intruders in the area then glanced out his side of the vehicle to confirm that nothing was in the trees, “Ok. Let’s do this.”

Taylor turned back to Jim to see in the man’s eyes if he was now really ok to go walking off the trail OTG. 

The first thing Taylor was aware of was the fact that Jim was closer to him. Taylor did not even have time to blink before feeling warm full lips pressed to his. 

Taylor instinctively pushed his arm back against Jim as he gasped feeling shocked at the sensations. He was expecting Jim to give him a nod not a lap dance. “What’re you doing?” The words came out in a rush.

A hurt and confused glint appeared in Jim’s eyes that was quickly replaced by his cold cop stare, “You said let’s do this? Didn’t you mean this?” Jim motioned a hand between them.

Taylor was still in shock, “No.” Taylor could only answer honestly as the words continued in swift succession. “I meant we need to walk up to the cliff for me to show you the view of the colony from up there, which is what we came here for. I also need to talk to ya about things happening in the colony.”

Taylor was fighting the urge to touch his fingers to his lips. His body started to rev up as his eyes locked on the two indentions on Jim’s lower lip. He desired the press of Jim’s lips against him again. Anywhere on him. Taylor mentally ran his tongue over the indentions. It was his own secret fantasy. His lips parted as he was breathing faster with anticipation of what Jim might shock him with next. He regretted now that he pushed him away. 

“This whole time…so you were never talking about sex?” Jim accused in his question.

“Sex? No.” Taylor was now getting distracted by the intensity of Jim’s eyes.

“You talked about it going to get rough and needing to take precautions.” Jim spat out.

“Driving off the road can shake you apart if you don’t have your seat belt on tight enough.” Taylor’s voice got louder.

“And what about it not hooking to the side and being straight and large and Wash agreed with you?” Jim’s voice and movements were sarcastic and volatile.

“I had them design a larger buckle for the seats. It’s faster to buckle in if something happens.” Taylor gripped the buckle next to him and gave it a shake not liking that he could not figure out what was happening. He always knew what was happening unless he was emotionally compromised. He decided that in his moment he was, and he did not like it.

The antagonistic expression on Jim’s face melted away as he stared at Taylor with wide eyes, “You’re…You never intended…You never meant…I kissed you. You had no idea that I felt…I…I…I’m an idiot.” 

Jim got out of the vehicle and leaned against it.

Taylor fought through his arousal and tried to make sense of Jim’s questions and remembered what they had said earlier. Everything clicked now. It made sense as to why Jim had said he could not do something then after they talked that he kissed him. 

Taylor snapped back alert as his motion sensors went off. His eyes darted to Jim to find he was not there anymore. Taylor climbed out of the vehicle catching his boot and stumbled to the ground. 

“Damnation.” Taylor stood up turning around to see Jim running down the trail. He pressed buttons on his device to shut off any charges and trip mines in the area then reached into the back of the vehicle to grab a larger gun. 

By the time Taylor started running after him, Jim was nowhere in sight. Taylor trusted that Jim had the presence of mind to remember to stay on the trail. “Jim! It’s ok. Stop!”

Taylor rounded a corner then the next. He was pushing his body to try to gain on Jim. He finally came across Jim standing still in the trail with one hand out to the side and the other pressed to his hip.

To Taylor’s horror, four feet in front of Jim was a Slasher with its head lowered looking up at Jim as if he were dinner. Its body and head started to twist to the side. Taylor detected the move a Slasher makes just before its deadly tail lashes out at prey. 

“Get down! Now!” Taylor commanded as he leveled the gun in Jim’s direction.

As soon as Jim smacked the ground off to the side in the foliage, Taylor squeezed the trigger sending shots into the Slasher. 

It howled flicking its tail just over Jim’s head then ran off. Taylor followed it’s movements till he was confident that the beast was gone. 

He checked his detectors and saw that this area was not covered. He reactivated everything on his controller, then engaged the ones in the area they were in to form a better perimeter. 

Something was wrong…there was silence.

Taylor’s eyes snapped to Jim noticing he had not stood up yet. “Jim?”

Nothing.

Taylor ran the last few steps and rolled Jim over with one hand. He still held the large gun in one hand just in case. “Jim? It’s gone. Are you ok?”

Jim’s eyes did not appear to focus on anything and his face was painfully white. “Don’t go into shock on me. First Carno attack usually leaves a person in shock. It’s ok. Can you hear me? Snap out of it. Jim…James?”

His eyes blinked at the use of his formal first name.

“Do you hear me James? Come on cop. You with me?” Taylor set down the larger gun and pulled off his pistol harness feeling confident that the perimeter sensors would give him a good warning if anything came back to the area. 

Jim blinked a few times in rapid succession as color came back to his face. He rolled onto his back with his eyes darting around.

“There you are. It’s gone. It’s just us now.” Taylor lay down on his side next to him in the grass as he brushed some large leaves out of his way. 

“Ok.” Jim swallowed and closed his eyes. “Ok. I went for my gun, but…”

“You don’t have one anymore. But, I have several.” Taylor half smiled.

Jim looked on the ground where the 2 guns were, “We’re ok here…now?”

“Yes, we’re ok. I have motion sensors activated here now.” Taylor put his arm around Jim with his hand resting on the opposite side of his rib cage. He then leaned his hip against the younger man slightly covering him as if to protect him. 

Jim’s slate blue eyes flashed open at the contact of Taylor’s muscular body practically wrapped around him. The feel of Taylor’s muscled body weighing against him caused Jim to lay very still as if afraid Taylor would remove himself. This was what Jim need. He needed to feel Taylor’s strength and protection. 

Taylor smirked while peering hungrily at Jim’s lips. Those two lined indentions were tormenting him again, “I was not talking about sex, but it’s a good topic. You see, I’m not much on talking about it. I’m more of a doer.” 

The wickedness within Taylor’s eyes and the strength of his grip on Jim let the younger man know the other man had desired him after all.

“Don’t look so surprised, I’ve thought about getting you like this since you did your cowboy act on top of the fence.” Taylor leaned forward to Jim, but did not kiss him. He stayed a couple of inches away and watched him.

“You were watching me?” Jim breathed out desperate for confirmation.

“Yes, but I remember you having your shirt off.” Taylor tugged at Jim’s shirt and leaned back away from him. Taylor gave another little upward tug.

“I can fix that.” Jim offered.

Taylor watched Jim pulled the shirt off then lay back down in the grass amongst the foliage. Jim appeared to be hopeful and anxious.

Taylor slid his leg slowly over one of Jim’s legs causing electric sizzles over Jim’s skin at the renewed contact. Jim gasped out in pleasure. This couldn’t be real, but it was.

Taylor went to remove one of his half black gloves when Jim spoke, “No. Leave them on.”

Taylor’s strong hand slid up Jim’s muscular abdomen to his broad chest. This was what he was fantasizing about when Jim had reached the top of the fence and threw his hands up in to the air. The life…the vibrancy in Jim’s eyes in that moment were present now. Taylor felt as if he was given a precious gift that was rare and unique. The man under his hands and half way under his body was a seductive mixture of light and dark that threatened to entrance and entrap him. 

“Taylor…” Jim whispered as his tongue flicked over his lower lip.

Then Taylor finally moved his hand along Jim’s neck to his jaw. Taylor held him in place with his fingers on one side of his jaw and his thumb on the other. He was dominating his prey. It was the exact way he wanted him as every predatory instinct kicked in. 

Taylor knew that the other alpha male was usually in charge in situation, and reveled in the fact that Jim was letting him take the lead without questioning him or challenging him. For now, he was completely pliant under his hands.

Taylor’s deep gravel voice flowed slowly, “Do you want this…me?” Taylor started grinding his hardness against Jim’s leg as their eyes locked. Jim moved his arm that was partially trapped by Taylor so that he could put his hand on the man’s back tracing lines, while feeling the muscles move under the black shirt. Jim turned his face into Taylor’s shoulder breathing in his masculine sent. 

Next, Jim started to rise up to kiss Taylor, but Taylor exerted a little more force on the hand griping the sides of Jim’s jaw. Taylor pushed him back down into place. 

Jim flushed with his eyes only half open, “Yes.”

Taylor was in control. And, Jim liked it that way as he trembled underneath him, while Taylor leaned forward for a kiss.

Their lips touched again, but this time was not a simple press of lips together. Taylor consumed as he took everything Jim had to offer. Jim started to try to take over the kiss and re-position his body, but Taylor quickly put an end to it pressing Jim back into the ground. 

Taylor broke the kiss and used his gloved hand to press Jim’s face up and away from him. Jim’s free hand rose up and ran along the gloved hand that was still holding his jaw. Jim’s fingers lightly played over the material then down over Taylor’s well toned arm causing the muscles to contract and lightly jerk under his touch.

Taylor proceeded to bite along Jim’s jaw line down to his neck. He sucked on the pulse under the delicate skin and raked his teeth as a growl released heated air onto Jim’s moist neck. 

Jim was gasping in air as shivers ran down his spine. He held in his breath a few seconds then released it in a moan that pushed Taylor on. 

As Taylor released Jim’s jaw and moved down to undo his belt, Jim moved his gaze back to Taylor’s face. Taylor’s eyes were fixed on Jim’s lower lip for a few moments before he reached forward with his tongue and ran back and forth on the two indention creases on Jim’s lower lip. 

When Jim’s belt was undone, the perimeter motion sensors signaled to the control device laying next to Taylor’s guns. He instantly released Jim and rolled over grabbing the device while rising to his feet.

Jim jumped up looking around, “Where?”

“The vehicle.” Taylor kept the larger gun and handed his own side arm that he usually kept in his chest holster to Jim, “Here take this.”  
Both men moved stealthily back down the trail toward the vehicle.


	6. Confined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They return to the vehicle to see what has happened and venture even further into their exploration of each other. A cock blocker’s cousin dino Fukui-trap-them makes an appearance to help the men get together. Oh and Monty Python distracts Wash. Taylor interrogates Jim about his fav sex positions. Jim thinks Taylor’s situation with Malcolm is funny (Niii) when the drugs kick in. And, Skittles rainbow showers are fun, and the cliché of being tapped together in an enclosed space. What did I leave out? Seriously, was anything left out? Lucas twins!…ok that’s another story not this one.

Taylor and Jim inched around the last bend and approach the area where their vehicle was concealed to find what appeared to be a small dinosaur zipping back and forth almost too fast to see. It was about waist high and as fast as lightening.

“Stay back.” Taylor whispered as he leveled his gun at the blur that just zipped past the vehicle for the second time.

“What is it?” Jim inquired as he stepped back. 

“Sshhhhh A baby Fukuiraptor. Lets back up before it comes over here. The parents must be close by.” Taylor kept his hands on his gun and backed away. 

They back tracked around a few bends in the trail. 

Taylor’s motion sensors went off again, “There they are…looking for him. We need better cover.”

Taylor quickly strode off the trail followed closely by Jim. 

Jim followed Taylor for about five minutes then stood in silence when Taylor uncovered a metal portal into the ground. 

“What is this?” 

“A weapons cache. Climb down.” Taylor spoke as he aimed his gun behind Jim in case the young dino and its angry parents followed them. Once Jim was down far enough, Taylor quickly followed and secured the hatch. 

In the darkness, Jim froze when his boot bumped into something, “Are their lights?”

“Yes.” Taylor’s voice surrounded Jim.

“Are you going to turn them on?” Jim wondered what Taylor was doing as his voice did not sound as if it were coming from any one direction.

“Do you want me to turn them on?” Taylor’s voice sounded closer and deeper. 

It would have been seductive to hear Taylor’s disembodied voice floating to him in the darkness, but Jim was starting to feel anxiety at knowing he was in an enclosed space. 

“Taylor, I need lights.” Unease was apparent in Jim’s voice.

Red lights snapped on over the walls to reveal rows of guns and boxes on the floor that were filled with ammo. 

Jim oriented himself in the room and turned around searching for Taylor who was now partially behind him at a control unit. 

“Thanks.” Jim sounded relieved. 

“You ok?” Taylor asked feeling concerned and pressed a few buttons.

“Now, yes. The guards would turn off the blue lights in our cells and close the metal blast doors over the front of the cells. It would darken the room making it completely black. I’ve spend days like that in my small cell. Well, it’s not mine anymore.” His mind offered what it had felt like sitting in darkness for days just coughing for air next to the ventilation shaft in the wall. A shiver of memory ran through his mind then showed up physically with a shiver of his body and a deep set cringe over his entire face. 

Taylor watched Jim. “I didn’t know.”

“How could you? I didn’t tell you that part. When they turned the lights back on, I would sit against the wall where the blue light was and just stare at it or at my hands in the light…. I’m ok now.”

Taylor nodded.

“I have not heard of that type of dino before. What did you call it?” Jim asked.

“Fukuiraptor. They are rare over here, but if one of their young wonders off, and by wonder I mean run like the devil, they track it down. They can be as deadly as Carnotaurus when it comes to the protection of their young.” 

“Fuckyraptor?” Jim’s eyebrows shot up.

“No. Foo-koo-ee-RAP-tor. It’s a Latinized word and something about the second to the last syllable ending in a consonant.

“What?” Jim’s face scrunched up this time in humor.

“Please don’t ask for more of an explanation. Malcolm talked to me for thirty minutes and that was the only part that made sense that it was Latin, so I couldn’t call it a Fuck-u-raptor.”

Jim smiled, “Are we safe down here?”

“There are no open plex ports for light like there are in the outposts or medical research outposts. They can’t get down here. With any luck, they’ll collect the little runaway and be gone within an hour.”

“Ok.” Jim responded blankly trying not to think about the fact that there was only one way in and out. If he knew there were windows or something, he would have been fine. But, being closed off and sealed in freaked out his mind. 

Jim glanced around for a distraction. 

Jim’s cop curiosity moved on to the items in the room. His eyes went back to the large boxes of ammo and focused on a small box sitting on top that was metallic. Jim stepped forward and inspected it. Even in the partial dark, he was able to read the text that said it held 200 cartridges. He guessed it was the red tint in the lighting that helped him read even thought it was still kind of dark in the room.

Taylor was entered his access codes into a control panel on the wall next to a door. “I have a room in here.”

Jim glanced at him then back to the box opening it. “Ok.” 

Taylor scrutinized Jim a few moments. He wondered why Jim was being distant now especially after they had already kissed. Jim usually talked more than him, but not now. 

The sound of Jim’s panicked voice and the expression on his face when the lights came on flashed in his mind. Taylor nodded understanding.

“I’ll be in here.” 

“Ok.” Jim acknowledged as he allowed the logical side of his brain evaluate the supplies in the sizable room. 

After five minutes, Jim heard voices in the other room and went to investigate.

Taylor was leaning onto a desk peering into the monitor that only displayed text reports. Jim instantly noted that Taylor only had on his black pants. 

“Just explain to me what the problem is.” Taylor’s voice was clipped. 

“He…Dr. Malcolm insisted that they should be allowed to proceed.” The male voice stated.

“Yes, I get that. You told him I said no. So, what’s the problem?” Taylor stood up and crossed his arms.

Jim stared at Taylor’s arms as they moved into position and then appraised his chest and the state of his pants in the front. The Commander was half undressed, flexing his body, hard as hell, and angry…so thoroughly hot Jim thought to himself.

Jim opened his mouth to speak.

But Taylor flashed a stop with his eyes. He proceeded to go back to looking at the text on the screen and read the report as the man on the other end that was probably in the Command Center explained.

“He went to leave anyway. I ordered them to keep the gate shut. Now, he demands face to face time with you. I told him you were not to be disturbed, but he insists that he is in charge when you are gone.”

Taylor took a deep breath. “You did right, Corporal. And, I left Wash in charge. He can take up his concerns with her.”

“He refuses to, and she is dealing with a group of Pterosaur who are dropping coconut things on the farmers who are out in the fields. She started calling them swallows. I don’t know what that means, Sir. She said you would. Then she used the hand held Sonics on them, it is kind of working.”

“Coconuts things…swallows…as in swallows carrying coconuts? Is this some type of joke?” 

“No, Sir.” He stated solemnly not getting the reference. 

Jim put a hand over his mouth and tried not to laugh because he was picturing Wash dealing with the cast from Monty Python and the Holy Grail movie. 

Jim could not help himself and quietly spoke in a French accent with a quote from the movie, “I fart in your general direction.”

“What Sir? I can’t hear you.”

Taylor put a hand over his own face. “Nothing. If Wash is busy and Dr. Horrible only wants me, tell him to wait.”

“But he is going to come back here and demand because he is a department head that he is allowed to override me since Wash is not here. What do you want me to do when that happens?”

Jim responded quietly again, “Niiii. Tell him to sing in his sing along blog.”

Taylor reached and muted the com, “What the hell is wrong with you Shannon?”

“If he is Dr. Horrible, then that makes me the Hammer! Does that make you Bad Horse, the leader of the Evil League of Evil?”

Taylor remembered having talked to Wash about putting a psychedelic drug in powder form that absorbs via the skin on the gun cash supplies as part of a trap if the Sixers found them. She had obviously implemented it already without telling him. 

“What Sir? We must have a bad com relay. What did you say Sir?”

“Shannon control yourself. I’ll get you the antidote. Just be quiet.” Taylor commanded.

Taylor flipped the mute back off and waited for the voice on the other side to stop.

“I said nothing. Do nothing but tell him I said to wait longer. Taylor out.” He ended the transmission, hunted for the antidote and something to wash Jim off with. 

Thirty-ish minutes later:

Jim awoke lying next to Taylor on a bed. Taylor was lying on his back with Jim snuggled against his right side. Taylor ran his hand over Jim’s hair with one hand and the other was lying on his own abdomen. 

Jim blinked at his arm wrapped over Taylor’s chest and flexed his hand that was pressed to the opposite shoulder. “What happened? What was that?”

“Something similar to LSD. I gave you the antidote and used a cloth to wipe the power off of you. I didn’t know they put the powder on the equipment yet. There is a code that disperses a gas that neutralizes it, but the code has to be entered before you enter. It’s a trap.” 

“Did we watch old television movies? I remember something about someone called Malcolm.” Jim did not even try to sit up, but enjoyed the side of his face pressed against Taylor’s chest. He closed his eyes feeling Taylor move his hand down to his neck. Tingles spread out, and he shivered breathing faster.

Taylor noticed the reaction and kept going. “No. But, Malcolm was causing trouble.”

“That part I remember.” His breath rushed out over Taylor’s exposed chest as Taylor’s hand now traced over Jim’s shoulder. “Did we talk to Malcolm? Who is this Malcolm?”

“No. Stop thinking about Malcolm.” Taylor offered as he stroked over Jim’s back.

Jim continued to pant as his muscles jerked in a tingly way when Taylor’s fingers brushed over his shoulder blade. He was afraid to move thinking that maybe Taylor was just concerned for him and was not really making a move for more.

Jim thought to himself, we’re on a bed for Hades sake. His mind fought back, But this is not a Taylor Tackle. He likes aggressive. He growls and grabs. He’s not making a move. 

Jim finally asserted himself, “I don’t know what this is?” 

He clenched onto Taylor’s shoulder and pressed his head harder against Taylor’s other shoulder. 

“This is…us.” Taylor replied with a chuckle.

Jim’s eyes peered up to see Taylor’s beard covered chin just at an angle where when he let his eyes focus up that he could not see the rest of Taylor’s face. 

“I didn’t mean to say that out loud.” Jim confessed feeling glad that Taylor could not see his face.

“Blame it on the drugs like any good narcotics cop would. Are you ok?” Taylor continued to stroke Jim’s back.

“Yes.” Jim knew now that Taylor was offering to continue what they started earlier. 

Jim then noticed that Taylor’s nipple was just at his lips. So, he reached his tongue out and swirled savoring the taste. It wasn’t the only thing he wanted to taste. 

Taylor’s hand traced over Jim’s back again bringing out pants and tingly shocks. Taylor proceeded to tug up Jim’s shirt and placed his hand on Jim’s lower back savoring the heat of his skin. 

Jim’s hand moved down over Taylor’s chest and over his hand that was still resting on his abdomen. He paused for a moment stroking the other man’s hand and feeling his power. 

Taylor lifted a finger and pressed it over one of Jim’s. “When I first came in here, I didn’t know if you’re going to follow me into the room or not.”

Jim watched their hands then moved lower to Taylor’s belt with his eyes and hand. “Of course I was, and I did. I’m here.”

He worked the belt and pants open to slide his hand down into Taylor’s black pants. Jim pulled open the flap on Taylor’s boxers and slid his hand in gripping Taylor’s thick shaft that was waiting for his attention. “I’m right here. You like me touching you here?”

“Yes.” Taylor’s half open eyes focused on Jim as Jim maneuvered making his body more perpendicular to him. “Undo your pants.”

Jim obliged and went back to slide his hand over Taylor’s thick base as Taylor’s hand skid down under Jim’s pants to grip his ass. 

Jim reached his tongue out over the tip of Taylor savoring the texture. He heard Taylor let out a ragged breath as Taylor stilled his hand but gripped. 

Jim licked his lips knowing Taylor was watching his profile and lowered them to just barely touching Taylor as he spoke, “You’re so hard. So mine.” 

With that, he lowered his mouth over Taylor as he applied pressure gripping with his hand at the same time. 

Taylor ran his hand up Jim’s back as his strangled voice came out in rasps, “Yes, oh yes. I am.”

The sound of Taylor’s voice penetrated Jim’s entire body moving him into further action. He removed his hand a moment and stroked lower as he took all of Taylor into his throat then moved back up. 

Taylor growled and flexed his legs reminding himself to let Jim continue instead of taking over. 

Taylor ran his hand back down to Jim’s ass and gave another squeeze when Jim did not continue. Jim lowered over Taylor again then back up and waited for Taylor to respond again and instead sucked just at the top while swirling his tongue.

“James. More.” Taylor pleaded.

Jim rotated his head and fixed his eyes on the open expression on Taylor’s face. Taylor hid nothing. It was the first time Jim believed he had seen a real expression on Taylor’s face that was not completely schooled. 

Jim flicked his tongue and let it slip out of his mouth on the side where Taylor could see then removed his lips, but kept his tongue touching. 

Taylor moaned in frustration, clenched his jaw, and stared at Jim’s eyes then down to his tongue that was tormenting him. Taylor did not know what Jim was waiting for. “Please.”

That didn’t work. 

Taylor was tracing his fingers over one side of Jim’s ass, and Jim gave a little wiggle as he was teaching Taylor about what he wanted without having to say it.

Taylor understood and gripped down. In response, Jim gasped relishing the sensation then lowered is mouth and throat over Taylor’s pulsing shaft. Jim elicited a tantalizing grunt from Taylor when his mouth touched all the way down to the hilt. He waited a few moments then rose back up. 

They repeated this action several times. 

When Taylor got a little too enthusiastic with the grabbing, Jim lowered some then flexed his jaw and let his teeth come out to make a firm contact without causing any damage. Taylor loosened his hold on Jim slightly then Jim continued down then back up several minutes. 

He then gripped Taylor with his hand and twisted counter clock wise and his mouth lowered twisting clock wise. The sounds Taylor made were indescribable, but lost in pleasure. So, Jim repeated this action as it turned him on to hear the sounds he was able to get out of Taylor. 

Taylor growled out, “Close. We can switch to something else.” 

Jim peered up at Taylor raising his mouth off of him, but keeping his lips in contact. “What if I don’t want to?” Jim moved has ass and spoke, “Move your hand up. More.”

Taylor moved his hand up to his shoulder.

“More.”

Taylor raised his hand higher up to Jim’s hair that was kind of short, but the ends seemed as if they wanted to curl if given any length.

“Grab.” Jim whispered slowly as he intentionally moved his lips more than was necessary to talk.

“Don’t want to choke you.” Taylor was having difficulty speaking because when Jim spoke his lips moved against him.

Jim flexed his hand tighter over the base of Taylor’s shaft, “That’s what my hand is for. Grab and guide me.”

Jim lowered his mouth applying more suction and moved his tongue, but kept eye contact. 

“Oh, hell.” Taylor grit his teeth and hissed. 

Taylor waited a few moments before applying some pressure down then up while gripping Jim’s hair to show him the speed he wanted…he now needed.

Taylor was panting and growing again then slid his hand from his abdomen over Jim’s hand on his shaft. Taylor squeezed down. “Harder.”

Jim obeyed, and Taylor released his hand and put it up over his head. 

The combination drove Jim to moaning and grinding against the mattress. He lost control on himself as Taylor guided him. His mouth sucked and licked while his hand gripped harder and twisted. He lost himself in giving Taylor pleasure and was greatly rewarded by feeling Taylor flex under him more frantically. 

“Close.”

Jim ignored him and kept going taking Taylor’s release in his mouth while Taylor growled then yelled thrashing under him. Jim could feel Taylor’s shaft pulsing in his mouth and had already lifted up some and moved his tongue back as to not choke. As Taylor calmed some, Jim went back to sucking lightly and swirled his tongue slowly on the tip. 

Taylor jerked and gasped. 

Jim sucked again and took everything into his mouth and swallowed. He had to do it a few times to completely clean Taylor off. 

He pulled back after there were no further throbs, and Taylor relaxed back.

Taylor touched down at his body and clothing. “No mess?”

Jim responded with a wicked smile, “I took care of it.”

“Yes, you did.” Taylor chuckled in a very deep masculine way that reverberated over his body.

The com signaled and flashed the screen on at the other side of the room. “Fuck.” Taylor grabbed the blanket and pulled it completely over Jim and his lap.

The screen opened to show Malcolm with his condescending expression. It quickly changed. “Oh My God!” 

“What the hell do you want Malcolm?” Taylor barked holding down the blanket.

“They said not to um uuuuu disturb you.” Malcolm’s face flashed red as his mind fully comprehended what act he had interrupted and noticed Taylor was only covered at the waist. His eyes flicked for a moment knowing there was someone under the blankets.

“Yes, genius! So what do you call this…not disturbing? How did you open the video feed?” Taylor growled in anger.

“I uhhhh I uuu.” Malcolm stuttered still looking at Taylor’s mostly naked body.

“Spit it out.”

Taylor heard Jim whisper under the blanket, “I already swallowed.”

“Not you.” Taylor did not lower his voice. Then, he gave Malcolm a death glare. “What is it, damn it?”

“Nothing. It can uuuuuhhhh wait.” Malcolm leaned closer scrutinizing his first real glance of Taylor’s sweaty chest and abdomen.

“Then go the fuck away. And, never…ever hack into my vid com or there will be consequences.” His voice was like cold steal.

“Oh yes. I understand. I’m going now. Right away.” Malcolm closed the link.

Jim laughed.

“He’s a prissy little fuck. He came on to me once, and I shut him down fast. He’s been a little whiny bitch ever since.” Taylor’s voice came out sounding aggravated and snappy.

He ran his hand over Taylor and noticed he was hard under the blanket…again. Jim looked down. 

Jim inquired wickedly before pulling back the blankets from Taylor’s waist. “You don’t like prissy?” 

“No. I like you.” Taylor growled his approval. “When I used the infuser to dose you with the antidote, some of the LSD type powder got on my skin. I infused myself with the antidote too, but some of the drug was already working in my system. This mmmmm is considered by the medical and scientific aahhhhhh teams as a negative side effect that lasts a couple of hours.” 

Jim had gone back to stroking Taylor again, “Couple of hours? This must have one hell of a street value. A trip then a constant hard on?” His hand stilled.

“Stop thinking.” Taylor raked his eyes then his tongue over the two indention lines on Jim’s lower lip tasting himself before he moved forward for a full kiss. He claimed Jim’s mouth for his own. 

Jim ran his fingers greedily over Taylor’s hardness. He felt achy all over needing the other man even more after knowing what types of sounds he could make Taylor have when he released. 

“It’s my turn. And, you’re voice…need to make an audio recording and put it to trance music.” Jim gripped Taylor’s shaft firmly at the base and started to work him even more.

Taylor jerked back the blanket completely off of the bed and rolled onto Jim. He now understood that the drugs had not fully left Jim’s system, and he was saying whatever he was thinking. 

Taylor leaned down into Jim’s face, “Tell me what you like. Tell me what you want me to do to you.”

“There it is again. Don’t let go of me this time.” Jim pulled back against Taylor feeling the other man’s strength hold him in place before he relaxed under him. 

“There what is? My dick?” Taylor inched even closer as his eyes read Jim’s face while his body pressed him down.

“No. Well, yes. But, I meant the Taylor Tackle. Means you want me as much as you want her.” 

“Her?” Taylor started grinding himself against Jim savoring the friction.

“You know who. Don’t make me say her name out loud. There are still some drugs in my system aren’t there?”

“Yes.” Taylor licked Jim’s lower lip savoring the dips in the softness. “Tell me. Tell me what you want me to do to you.”

“You already are.” Jim moaned.

Taylor wanted to stop talking, but could not help himself because he was finally able to question Jim. Taylor knew himself in that he loved a good interrogation where you get intelligence, but don’t offer any in return. He had been wondering himself crazy wanting to know what types of things Jim liked.

Taylor ran a hand down over Jim’s hip then under to grip his ass. “You want me to take you?”

“Yes. Please. But…” Jim stopped.

“What? Tell me. I want to know.” Taylor laved at Jim’s neck and let his rough voice float up to Jim’s ear. “I want to know what you like. I want to know what you don’t.” 

Taylor already found out that Jim reacted quite favorably to having hands and fingers ran over his body. It caused some type of tactile shiver that would repeat itself when touched again. Taylor glanced up to the lips that would then pant in time with the exploration.

“Just…when you start that, be careful at first…just at first. He wouldn’t even when I told him to. He…I didn’t know it at the time. I thought he just got so turned on by me that he kind of rushed the prep work. He was the first guy I let myself be with. Now, I think he liked hurting me. Punishing me for no reason. Yes, he hurt me on purpose then he took my family away from me. He had me locked up alone in the dark.” Jim’s voice dropped deep and low like he was telling a secret, “There’s no air in the dark.”

Jim’s eyes sought out the light in the room and became fixated as if his life depended on it. 

Taylor wished he had not asked, but was glad at the same time. He wanted to kill this other man who purposefully hurt Jim. He wanted to slash this man’s throat and watch the life drain from his eyes for having Jim locked up away from his family…away from clean air. No, he changed his mind. He wanted to drag out the man’s death in the most painful ways he could think of and there were many. And after a month, no a year, then toss him to a Carno. He contemplated putting in a request for the man in question. 

Next, he thought of sending a coded message to some of his men still back in that time to find the man, torture him to death and record it. Send it to him. 

Taylor stopped himself knowing that he could not let himself do that. Oh, but he wanted to. The darker areas of his brain continued to plot.

Now, he needed to focus on Jim who was still staring at the light. 

“I’m sorry that happened to you. I would never do that to you. I want you to enjoy yourself. I will not harm you or take your family from you. You do understand that? That I will not hurt you?”

Jim nodded, but stared at the light. “Everyone…saysss…that. They mmmeeean it…at the time.”

Taylor gave Jim a once over with his eyes, “Jim, I’m going to touch your hand ok?”

“Yeperrrs.”

Taylor picked up one of Jim’s hands and looked under his nails. Taylor saw some powder that looked as if it got wet then dried sticking to Jim. He wondered where else the powder got to on Jim that he was not able to wash off with the cloth. He glanced at his ears then down to the new shirt that Jim was wearing. Taylor quickly pondered the possibility that it got on the new shirt from Jim’s hands and was even now rubbing it on Jim’s chest. 

“Damnation.” Taylor felt emotionally compromised when it came to Jim. “You make me stupid.” He rolled off of Jim.

“Ya make me feel hot. Always have. I dreammmmm…about you touching me. Want to touch you.” Jim tried to moved closer to Taylor.

“Jim. Stop talking and don’t touch me.” Taylor held out a hand.

“You do you don’t you do you don’t you do uuudont. Mind up your make.” Jim slurred and mixed up his words.

Taylor knew that Jim was having small amounts reabsorbed into his system, and the antidote was wearing off. The antidote that was part sedative was set to wear off quickly as to not addict the person to it. “Damn. See, I’m. Stupid.”

Taylor peered around the room knowing that it must remind Jim of his prison cell. That could be a very bad thing while on a mind altering drug. It would bring everything back. It would make it real. It could drive him crazy. He could lash out violently. He could hurt himself.

“Ok, Jim. I need to give you more antidote, get you in the shower, and get you out of here back into the sun. We need to move quickly.”

Jim’s eyes broke from the light as he spoke, “You and me in the shower. You know…uhhh…water is not really a lubricant right?” 

Taylor smiled. “Weeee are not taking a shower. You are taking a shower. You need to get that off of you.” Taylor showed Jim his hand then climbed out of the bed.

Taylor felt guilt now that he knew that Jim was being dosed again and that the antidote was wearing off at the same time. He had thought asking Jim what types of things he liked sexually would not be that bad of an idea while the drugs were leaving his system. 

Now, he did not want Jim to tell him anything that Jim did not really want to tell him. That conflicted with all of his years of military training that you get intel whenever and however possible. 

Jim continued as he stood up and took off his shirt and pants. “Are youuuu…going to watch me take care oooooof myself? Is that’s it. You liiiike to watch?”

Taylor paid no attention to the show and walked to the bathroom not wanting to encourage Jim while he was doped up. “You just need a shower.”

“I’maaaa taking a shower. You wana watch first. I get it. No, I get a shower then you get me. Right?” Jim slurred again. “Why do…the room…so purple?”

“I just want you to shower.” Taylor called from the bathroom. “Come here.”

Jim walked in and saw Taylor loading an infuser. “What cha doin?” 

“You need another dose before you shower or the water will turn into Skittles again like when I wiped off your arms.” 

“Skittles. Taste the rainbow. Then dooon’t give it…to me. I like Skittles! Give me Skittles.” Jim smiled.

“Don’t start singing again. Here.” Taylor reached out for Jim’s arm.

“Here?” Jim gripped at Taylor’s hips and darted his tongue over his lower lip.

“Hold still. Once the drugs are completely out of your system, then you can touch me, and I will take care of you that way. Not before.” Taylor moved to press the infuser to the other man’s arm.

“Isssat an order, Mr. Commander Taylor Sir?” Jim started laughing as his happy blue eyes danced. 

“Yes.” Taylor pressed down letting the medicine infiltrate Jim’s blood stream. 

Jim started acting the way he did before when Taylor coaxed him into bed and made him lay down so that he did not harm himself. A shower sounded like a dangerous activity, but he needed to get all the powder off of him and his hands.

Taylor paused thinking where Jim’s hands had been earlier and the fact that things were starting to glow. Taylor infused himself then took off his pants and boxers. “Ok, I’ll stand with you in the shower, but you can’t touch me.”

“Aaaaaanother order? Niiii!” Jim smiled then squinted his eyes.

“Yes.” Taylor denied to himself that a slate blue aura was coming from Jim. “It’s the drugs. They’re messing with me. We need to make this quick before I’m impaired. I don’t know when the antidote will kick in again or how bad I’m going to get. Sometimes it’s fast. Sometimes it’s not. Come on.” 

“Like it when ya order. I want’a follow em, but I won’t. I likea way it soundsss.” Jim stumbled over the words and went back to seeking out light with his eyes. “I like the light.”

“Jim.”

“Liiiight touch me …fixes it. Dark cana get me…but…imalone. No air.” His voice drifted into despair. 

“James. Get in the water! It’s warm.” He reached for Jim.

Jim pulled his hand back. “Don’t. Wan’ta light.”

Taylor moved and flipped more lights in the shower then turned the lights off overhead. He quickly moved into the shower, but made himself focus on what he was doing as a feeling of floating came over him. His body may have felt strange, but he was maintaining control on his mind…mostly.

Jim gasped in fear turned to the new light.

“Come to me. Come to the light.” Taylor stood naked in the hot water that sprayed at him from multiple shower heads and steams. “Come to me, James.”

“You’re alwaysssssss in light. Ok.” Jim moved into the shower that was bathed in light. 

Taylor tried his best to ignore the pale blue glow that was being emitted from the younger man as he rubbed soap over his own body. He hoped he got off all of the drug powder as he held his head under the water rinsing off then looked down at himself. “Damn the drug’s side effects.”

Jim just stood there and watched for a moment then his voice took on an awed tone. “Ssssso hot. So powerful. Taaaylor. Commmmander. Nathaniel.”

“Stop talking. Remember, it’s an order. A command.”

“I like…r name. Taaaaaaylor. Water…coverrred in water. Steam like…how you walk in the morning…the fog follllloooooows you. It likes you tooooooooo. The water…like a rainbow.”

Jim reached out, touched Taylor’s shoulder and ran his hand down his arm. 

Taylor held his breath as his eyelids flickered. 

“James. You have to stop. Here let me put soap on you. It will help.”

“You wana touch meeee. I cana touch you hu?”

“Yes.”

“Not fair. Rainbow water…bet…it tastes like…mmmmmmm…candy.” Jim’s eyes lost the happy shining effect and became more carnal. 

Taylor started rubbing soap over Jim’s masculine body trying to ignore that Jim looked hungry again. “Just stop talking. I can feel the antidote kicking in. It should start for you soon. You got more drugs on you then I did.”

Taylor ran his hands over Jim’s chest as memories of watching him on the fence entered his mind. He wanted to touch him then, and he was touching him now. Taylor moved closer to Jim who was staring at Taylor’s neck. 

Taylor then moved back away from Jim.

When Jim wrapped his arms around him, Jim spoke, “I likesss tasting youuu. I like…suuucking on you. Feel hard. Youuuu want me again.”

“Damn those side effects.”

“I like Skittles.” Jim grabbed Taylor harder and pressed him to the wall as he sampled Taylor’s neck. “Candy.”

Taylor felt taken off guard that Jim was being aggressive, and Taylor thought to himself that Jim was strong and hard.

“Yes, you like Skittles. I’ll feed real ones to you later tonight, if you will stop. There is a woman in one of the labs who makes them. There’s this plant that eats them.” Taylor was trying to distract himself and it was not working.

“Oh aaahhhhh. James you need to stop now ok?” Taylor’s arms were shaking as he wanted to grab right back onto Jim. His control was pulled thin as he knew that any moment he was going to take control and then take Jim. “Stop. I said stop.”

Jim did and watched Taylor clench is jaw shut and tighten his hands into fists. “Rinse off. We need to get out of the Skittles.”

“Why?”

“We just do.” Taylor was feeling stupid again. “Rinse all the way off.” 

Jim moved back from Taylor into the full force of the water. “Youuu always hold back…sssecrets.”

Taylor finally let his eyes rove freely over Jim for the first time. He was tall, broad shouldered, and obviously kept his body in shape. And, that Jim’s other attribute that was even now being rinsed in the hot water was sizable to match his own was a plus. 

Alone in the quiet, Jim started fixating on the lights again.

Not good. Taylor told himself. “Ok. My turn.”

Jim’s eyes remained haunted, and he did not respond when Taylor touched him to get around him into the full force of the water. Taylor quickly rinsed again then shut the water off. 

Taylor got out and got two towels. He handed one to Jim. “Dry off.”

Taylor dried himself off and waited for Jim. He felt it was bad that Jim was so willingly silent.

“Nnnot going…there.” 

Taylor smacked on more lights. “Better?”

“Ok.” Jim got out while Taylor stood nearby and told himself it was because he wanted to make sure Jim did not fall. 

“Follow me.” Taylor turned to the door, but kept an eye on Jim who reluctantly moved. “Look at me.”

Jim focused his tormented eyes on Taylor. 

Taylor smiled at him trying to get a response. “Can you say my name out loud?”

“Commander Nathaniel Taylor. What’s your middle name?”

“He speaks normally. The antidote is kicking in again. And, I’ll tell you later. Hold on. I need to wash these.” He put Jim’s clothing in to wash on fast high and set it to dry the same way. “Should be done soon.”

Jim looked over the unit while Taylor loaded an extra infuser. 

“Now, follow me.” Taylor’s voice was low, slow and gravely as he was able to get a positive response out of Jim.

Taylor walked into his bedroom and grabbed some clothing out of military footlocker at the foot of the bed. “These are for me.”

He then walked into a different bedroom. He gave Jim a once over. “This drawer has extra clothing for when others are assigned here during shipping. It’s rare that happens. These should be your size. Put them on just in case.”

Both men dressed while paying more attention to the other. Taylor kept staring from Jim’s lips to his chest then down over his stomach watching him bend. Jim was mentally licking Taylor’s strong arms and running his mouth back over Taylor’s hardened length. 

“Come on.” Taylor left the room then went to the kitchen. Jim leaned against the counter and started inspecting the light fixtures.

“Stop that. Watch me instead.” Taylor shot over his shoulder as he retrieved a container of water and grabbed some jerky. “Drink. Eat this. Lets go check if our friends are gone.” 

Once the clothing was mostly dried, Taylor ordered Jim to change while he checked the perimeter cameras and sensors. Everything was clear and they climbed out. 

Taylor was happy to see the change that came over Jim once he was back out in the open. The tension in Jim’s body lessened. 

They walked up the water fall as Taylor explained about the Sixers. He even found a few opportunities to touch Jim and get close to him, such as when he gripped his hand and helped him take a step up a rock. He strode up the mountain knowing that Jim was periodically checking his ass and arms. It was amusing to Taylor to try to turn around to catch Jim. He also took the opportunity to look at Jim’s lower lip and those damn tempting lines on his lip.

Jim questioned and absorbed the new info, and was glad that the thief was not Taylor’s ex. 

They reached the overlook, and Taylor asked Jim if he wanted to be a cop again. He accepted then they watched Sixers driving toward Terra Nova. 

Taylor showed Jim a faster way to the vehicle. “Strap in.”

Jim put the black cords and belts all over his body the way Taylor had his. Taylor did a quick inspection of Jim’s gear. 

Jim still looked at everything. “What is it?”

“You keep asking me that question. Sometimes it’s fun just to not know. Ready?”

“Ok.” 

Taylor now knew that it mean not really, but he was going along with it anyway. “Ok.”

Taylor clipped his waist band to Jim. “I use it all the time. We’re both connected to it, but now we’re also connected to each other.”

“Yes, we are.” Jim’s piercing cop stare was back.

“Are you completely back?” 

“Yes. And, it’s my turn later.” Jim stated.

“Ok.” Taylor leaned forward as if he were going to kiss Jim quickly before they departed.

Jim leaned back and swallowed, “Later.” 

“Later. Ok. Lets do this.” Taylor grabbed Jim and forced them both off of the cliff. Taylor chucked to himself when Jim periodically let out a yell of excitement as they went down the side of the mountain.

They dealt with the Sixers. 

The entire time, Jim was in awe of Taylor. He could not believe his mad skills driving. When he jumped out and let himself be bait for the Carno, Jim felt scared to death and could not imagine that this intrepid man wanted him…wanted a lowly cop with a lot of baggage. 

When the Sixers pulled their guns, Jim watched them knowing if they attacked that he would put them down before they could hurt Taylor. He would flicker his eyes to Taylor to take cues as to what to do. Taylor always gave him and his people confirmations and orders with his eyes of exactly what he wanted done. Every member of the team followed Taylor’s lead and trusted him with their lives. To Jim, it was refreshing and exhilarating. 

He started to feel something close to normal. With Taylor, he was himself again.

When everything was calmed down after the Sixers left, Taylor sought out Wash.

He walked up to her, and she spoke first raising an eyebrow and putting her hands on her hips, “So, I saw that Jim appeared to be disheveled.”

Taylor instantly became angry, “Yes, you had them brush the weapon’s cashes with the drugs.”

Wash’s face went blank. “How…”

“He got it all over him then on me.”

She smiled even wider than before. “And? I want details. Did you have a drug induced sex party?”

“No. I had Jim having flashbacks of an ex who would hurt him and flashbacks of being locked in the dark in prison with no air for extended periods of time…in small spaces like the one we had to hide in from the Fuck-u-raptors. You know. The kind that killed Stevens.” 

Wash’s face contorted with horror. “I wouldn’t have made the joke if I knew. It was in one of the reports I just put on your desk. They only went to outposts that were close and not in use.” 

“Well, it was in use today.” His eyes reverberated a wild rage.

Wash showed genuine remorse. It took only a few second for her to recognized Taylor’s expression and know she was on very shaky ground. It was the same reaction she had seen in him before when he was protective of his wife who was now dead. Realization fully flooded Wash as she knew now that Taylor was falling in love with Jim, but he did not know it.

She forced herself to say something to him that she had not said in years. “Taylor. I’m sorry.” 

Taylor blinked quickly at her statement then waited a few moments as his anger faded. “It was not all bad.”

Wash remained silent knowing if Taylor wanted to tell her that he would and if he did not…nothing she would say could make him.

“I had to wash the power off of him in the shower. Off of us. He thought the water on me turned to Skittles.” 

Wash smiled again looking at his neck, “What no bite marks?”

“You haven’t seen the other parts of my body.” Taylor turned to walk away. “And, you won’t for at least a few days.” 

Wash yelled, “I said I was sorry.”

“I heard you.” Taylor stomped off to find Jim to see if they could talk about what happened and about what he talked to Elizabeth about when they were in the infirmary. He didn’t like Jim’s reaction after what happened that he would not let Taylor kiss him on the cliff.

His new mission was cut short as Guzman radioed him they had a problem and needed him to come to the Command Center. It was something to do with a group of young people.

Wash jerked her head to the side knowing Taylor was not going to give her any details or his body for that matter. “Damn it. Jim. Fucking drugs. Raptors. Mira, Damnation.” Wash paused in horror. “Damn. Damn. I’m starting to sound like Taylor!”


	7. Confined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is mainly a Jim and Taylor chapter after Genesis, but before the next ep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the beginning of relationships, you have to decide as you learn about someone if you can deal with what you learn or not. They get into darker areas of Taylor, so if DarkFic is not for you…skip this chapter. The last half is smut, but the very end is angst then humor.

Jim put Zoe to sleep in his bed because he knew she would just end up there anyway. Next, he went to the living area, “Elizabeth. She’s down for the night. Commander Taylor has been back a few hours, so I need to go talk to him.” 

She simply nodded at him and sat down to read medical reports on her Plexpad about some of the different kinds of medical procedures they do in Terra Nova. “Ok, I need to get up to date on this anyway. Wait, take these with you.” 

He slipped the items in his pocket, and he handed her an extra com. They smiled warmly at each other then he left.

Jim was headed to the Command Center around the time Taylor was usually closing down for the night. He did not see Wash heading out and wondered if they left early. 

Jim jogged up the ramp and tried the main door to find it was locked. 

“Back here.” Jim heard Taylor call from around the building. 

It had been two days since he had heard the other man’s voice. 

The deepness and confidence of Taylor’s voice sometimes took him off guard, and this was one of those times. He felt nervous about seeing him again. The nervousness made Jim feel silly, and he reminded himself that they had showered before together, so this should be no big deal. 

Jim tried to understand his own reaction, but for some reason remained unknown to him.

Jim strode around the bend to see Taylor leaning against the rail peering out into the jungle. 

He approached him reviewing how Taylor was in charge of the colony and wielded the power with ease and without dominating. He had faith in his people, and they returned it back to him. Jim fully understood now that this powerful man could snap his fingers and half of the colony would jump without asking why, and the other half would stand at attention waiting for orders. There was a trust between Taylor and the people within colony. 

Jim felt himself drawn in, “Wash around?”

“Left earlier. We’re alone.” Taylor tipped his head down and peered over his shoulder at Jim. 

They had not been alone together since Jim’s drug high in the weapon cache and the walk up the waterfall to gaze down at the colony. That night had ended in them rescuing Josh, Tasha and Skye from the Slasher dinos. During the following day and night, Taylor had been OTG with a team moving supplies between Med Outpost 6 and 7. Taylor had only returned today a few hours ago, and it was already night. 

It had been two days…two very long days for both of them. 

Jim braced his hands on the rail and peered out into the night watching fog roll between the ancient trees. “How’s it going?” 

Jim flinched thinking it was the dumbest thing he could have said. He instantly felt like the young man he was when he stumbled around trying to get Elizabeth’s attention and approval. 

“Fine.” Taylor straightened and mimicked Jim’s stance at the rail, but they did not face each other. “I was on my way to talk to you about what happened at the weapons cache when Guz stopped me with the report about Skye and your son going OTG with the Rover. After, I knew you needed time with them, so I gave you some distance. We never really talked. Yesterday and today, well I had to take that trip.”

“How did the trip OTG go?” Jim glanced at Taylor then back at the forming fog that always captivated him. 

“Smooth without any hitches.” Taylor replied in deadpan wondering why Jim was avoiding the other subject just as he had avoided kissing him that last time on the cliff and had just told him the word later. Taylor considered this later, but guessed that Jim apparently did not. 

Taylor had to remind himself yet again that Jim had just got out of being locked up and was still in his orientation week in Terra Nova. Both were good reasons not to push him past what he was comfortable with. 

“Good.” Jim still could not think of anything remotely relevant to say about anything because he could feel that Taylor was thinking things at him, but was not saying it.

“No, that’s boring. Not even one Sixer spotting. I went along hoping to get a bead on one of them and maybe tag them with a tracking beacon.” Taylor smirked then repeated Jim’s question back at him, “So, how have things been going for you?”

“I told Elizabeth about the job offer and that I said yes. She wasn’t happy at first.”

Taylor nodded, “Yes, I know. I talked to her in the infirmary about it that day when she was gathering supplies for the Sixers.”

Jim turned straight to him, “She didn’t mention it.” 

“She didn’t tell you we talked?” Taylor was skeptical, but would not look at Jim for confirmation.

Jim’s voice sounded aggravated, “No. Tell me what was said.”

“First off, I apologized to her about Carter. I asked her why she didn’t use her skills to buy a place in a dome. She said that she wanted this new fresh start in a place that was real for your children. I told her she would do well here, and then she said something to me as I left. She told me to be careful with you.”

“Careful with me?” Jim felt confused.

“Yes. She said that the job offer was between us, but she is the one staying up late worrying. I told her I’d make sure you got home to her.” 

Jim blinked and turned to look out over the trees again, but this time not seeing any of it. “That doesn’t make any sense. She never worries about me making it home. I always make it home safe.”

Taylor remained silent because he remembered Jim’s reaction to him last time he talked to him about Elizabeth. Jim had gotten up in his face in the Command Center and said that it was none of Taylor’s damn business what was between him and his wife.

“By what she said, she knows more than I thought.” Jim shook his head.

“I made it outside, and she followed me. Said she meant to say more, but couldn’t bring herself to. We walked to the side where no one could hear. She asked if I understood about being careful with you. I told her I believed I had the gist of it. She then quietly said your ex mistreated you.”

“Oh.” Jim closed his eyes with a huff of breath.

“Yes. It seems that she kind of knows the situation you were in with your ex and the situation with me. She said what she meant by things being between us that she did not want any hint of it getting around to the children and that she has her own secrets she does not want getting out. Elizabeth said she was afraid she was being to subtle in saying she is the one staying up late, but she though I understood when I said I would get you home. But, she wanted to clarify with me before I left that you are hers. Sheeeee let me now that I would not be taking you from your family. I told her that was not my intention. I told her I was with Wash. She blanched and went inside.”

Jim leaned forward and rested his forearms on the rail then put his face into his hands and started rambling. “I swear she didn’t talk to me about it. For some reason, we can’t talk about it just like we can’t talk about her being attracted to Wa…dominant women. She had a girl friend in college that she kept a secret from everyone. A boyfriend accused her of liking the girl, and she dumped them both on the spot. That was before me. I already knew because I saw them kissing once where she was doing her internship. I told her I was ok with it as long as she let me know when there was someone else and as long as it was not another man. I told her that if she was with a man that it was a deal breaker. I told her about needs that I sometimes have, and she said she guessed it was the same thing. We understood each other even though her friends hated me because I was a lowly cop.”

Jim glanced at Taylor who had raised his eyebrows a moment. Taylor said nothing.

Jim shook his head, “Elizabeth and I were honest with each other from the beginning, so it’s ok. Now, I’m just trying to be honest with you.”

Taylor remained silent as he contemplated how Jim and Elizabeth’s relationship was so very different from the relationship he had with his own wife so many years ago. Taylor knew he was never fully open with her and he never let her see his darker side, but she knew he had one. Taylor further pondered that Jim was being very forthcoming with information, and that he obviously expected it in return. 

Taylor knew that he would not be able to be as free with revealing his secrets to Jim, but knew that he would have to give him something.

“I can hear you thinking. Come on say it whatever it is.”

“She likes women?” Taylor asked.

“Not women. Every once in a while, there will be a certain one. And, only that one will have her attention.”

“Before, you almost said Elizabeth was attracted to Wash.” Taylor’s voice was flat.

“Yes, but you can’t say anything.” Jim practically whispered it.

“I didn’t see it. Believe me; I wouldn’t have thought that of her. Not that it’s a problem, but she’s all about the family unit.” 

“She is. Somehow after Zoe was born, it’s gotten to the point where we pretend the other one doesn’t know or remember. Hell, she talked to you about it and not me. Nothing’s easy anymore.” 

“It’s not that bad. She was just letting me know to be careful with you and that she has a prior claim to you. Nothing I wouldn’t have done. At first, I thought she was kind of quiet and naive, but she’s definitely not. I think that’s her camouflage. The more I get to know her, the more and more I like her. She’s a good woman your wife. You’re a fortunate man.” 

Jim took his head out of his hands to watch Taylor.

Taylor remembered that look from the Command Center and held up his hands, “Hold on there. Don’t worry. I’m not making any moves on your woman. I have enough problems with my own. Hell, just think how not boring this is going to get when they realize that they both like each other. You think things are not easy now…just wait.”

“Oh my god.” Jim put his head back in his hands with a snicker, “Elizabeth will try to come up with some type of proper etiquette for partner swapping.” 

“Wash doesn’t do etiquette.” Taylor offered firmly. 

“She will.”

Both men laughed releasing the tension that had been building. 

There was a noise in the plaza, and they walked around to the other side to see what it was. 

There was a young couple yelling at each other clearly going through a bad break up. When they noticed people were watching, the woman yelled “Forget it!” and stomped off. The guy just stood there and watched her go. 

Everyone was closing down their stands for the night and packing things back to buildings on carts. Jim and Taylor watched silently as the groups thinned out.

Wind stirred as the fog made its way into the plaza despite the light misting of rain. Jim tugged his long sleeves down and buttoned them. He then braced his hands on the rail and leaned forward feeling the misty rain lightly touch his face. “I can still see the stars. I don’t remember it being like that when I was a kid. When it rains, the stars should go away. The fog is as thick as smoke and not going away.”

Taylor commented in his deep voice, “Not actual rain. Sometimes it just stays like this half way between in a kind of misty fog. It’s unusual. Things are different here.”

That brought Jim out of his silence as they watch the lights in the sky and the colony regardless of the strange weather. “Yes, things are different. Thank you.”

Taylor risked a glance at Jim as he stepped up into the mist next to him and put his hands on the rail close to Jim’s, “For?”

“Giving me a chance instead of kicking me OTG when I got here. Being delicate with Elizabeth. Finding Josh. The job. Keeping me safe when that drug was in my system. Letting me talk about…my past. I’ve been out of there less than a week, but here…with you…I’m coming back to myself again. I’m still freaking out here and there though.” 

“Understandable.” Taylor remembered both times he was held captive and how each time it messed him up for months after getting out. Certain things were never quite right again. “It takes time and talking.”

Jim started tapping his fingers on the rail. “When we got back with Josh, I could see it in Elizabeth’s eyes and later that night when we were all outside watching the moon, she held my hand. I think she respects me as her man again.” Jim’s voice fell silent as he watched a few housing units turn off their lights. It was a good feeling knowing that those families were safe and that his was one of them. 

Taylor remained silent, but scrutinized Jim openly now.

“It hurts. Knowing that she knew and knows what happened to me with him. I don’t know how she found out. Right now, I don’t think I can bring myself to ask her. Maybe, they talked the way the two of you talked. If she talks to you again, tell me.”

“I will.” Taylor confirmed instantly.

The peacefulness of night comforted Jim as he turned his eyes up to the night sky and watched some of the stars flicker just as the housing lights had. 

Jim slid his pinky finger against Taylor’s hand. “I…” Jim did not know how to make himself say that he had missed Taylor even thought it had just been a couple of days. He had spent the last two day wondered how they would interact once alone. He remembered on the cliff that he did not let Taylor kiss him, but he couldn’t remember why.

“I know.” Taylor slipped a couple of fingers over Jim’s hand then pulled away. 

“It’s just been two day, but I was starting to think from the way we left it and the new job that there might not be a later…with us.” 

Taylor squinted as he took a few steps backward into darkness under the covering, “With us, there will always be a later. Besides, you’re like a new bright and shiny gun that I haven’t gotten to try out in the field yet or even calibrate properly.” 

“I’m waiting.”

“For?” Taylor’s electric blue eyes flared with desire thinking over all of the sexual responses that Jim could possibly give in this situation. He wanted to hear Jim’s playful voice describe what he wanted from Taylor.

“The other shoe.”

Taylor pushed back the cloud of arousal that had encompassed him as he recognized the tone. “Explain.”

“Anymore, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. The first one is the good, and the second shoe is the destruction of the good. It’s inevitable. This,” Jim held his hands out over the colony, “does not feel real. I have my family back, my freedom, clean air, and…” He turned and stepped into the darkness with Taylor, “the illustrious and perfect Commander Taylor wanting me. Me… a lowly ex-cop escaped con with baggage from a fucked up ex and a family who I will never leave because I love them more than my own life. I’m now waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m waiting for the destruction and end of it. Of this. Of us.”

Taylor’s face blanked before he tipped his head up with a slight smile, “Don’t wear them.”

“What?” Jim tipped his head to match Taylor. 

“I don’t wear shoes. I wear boots so that’s not going to happen unless you are the one dropping the other shoe. And, I am not Commander Nathaniel Taylor all the time. Sometimes, I am just me. Just a flesh and bone fallible man. Believe me when I say I’m just as fucked up as everyone else, so no calling me perfect. Far from it.” 

Jim shook his head, “You don’t know me well enough yet to say that you would not be the one to drop the other shoe. No one’s more messed up than me. He…people have told me that. Seriously, how many people do you know that had an ex put them in prison then hire someone there to kill them? With my track record, when…if this ends, I’ll probably find myself tossed OTG or eaten by a carno.” 

Jim thought it was humorous in a sick way. 

Taylor’s eyes flashed with rage as his darker side rose to the surface wanting to take revenge for what was done to Jim and what could have been done. 

Taylor’s voice came out like flowing magma. “After all that, he paid someone to kill you. Damnation. I swear every time you mention him now I want to kill him. I want to wrap my hands around his neck and squeeze the life out of him. I know enough of you to know that you’re a good man caught in some bad situations. It’s normal to react to bad situations. The thing is that you’re now in a good situation. You need to focus on that. Defend it.” 

Jim’s cop eyes assessed Taylor finding something he wished he had not, “You mean it? If he were standing here right now, you would kill him?”

“And if I do mean it? Does that change the way you think about me?” Taylor asked while fearing Jim’s response because he knew letting Jim closer to him meant letting Jim see his darker areas that were not all warm and cuddly. Jim might not approve. Most people didn’t. Most people ran screaming. Taylor thought back remembering one person doing just that.

“I don’t judge people for things they think about doing, but have not done.” Jim was avoiding answering.

“You think I have never taken a life?” Taylor maintained the close distance they held without moving away or closer.

“You’re in the military, and I am…was…am a cop. I have had to kill. I’m fairly confident you have. We have to do things in the line of duty.” Jim pointed out dryly. 

“You never answered my first question. Lets put it this way. If he was standing here now, and I killed him, would it change the way you think about me? Would you stop wanting me?”

“I see how you’re here in the colony. You care about these people. You would die to defend them and the colony.”

“Yes. Most people are innocent, and should be treated innocently. But others are not so innocent. Others are downright demonic and do evil things to others, so things should be done to them to stop them. I treat people the way they treat the people around them. You’re honorable, open, honest, and fair with everyone, so I return that back to you. This is me being honest with you and open about who I am. No subterfuge.”

Jim went to step away, but Taylor gripped Jim’s biceps and held him in place a few moments in silence then let him go when Jim stopped pulling back. Taylor’s hands dropped away, and Jim stayed.

Jim became aware that Taylor was showing his emotions on his face and the display was as fluid as thought. Jim was reading every second. 

Jim took a deep breath, “Ok, so you’re not some sociopathic slaughter of children. I already knew that. Whatever else I am, I’m still a cop. I walk the blue line. I can’t condone murder, but I understand there are times when we have to kill. I know there are probably things in your past that we might need to avoid instead of going into elaborate detail over. I’m ok with you thinking things. I…can’t let you…cross the line of murder.”

“It wouldn’t be murder. He arranged for your death and someone else could arrange for his. Killing your enemy who is trying to kill you is not murder. It’s eliminating a threat.” Taylor really started to like the idea, and it showed.

“He’s not a threat or the enemy. There will be no arranging.” Jim commanded. 

“I didn’t say I would be arranging it. And, yes he is the enemy because he’s a threat.”

“No.”

“Then what is he? Would you trust him standing behind you with a gun?”

Jim shook his head, “No. And you can’t just go around killing everyone who you think is your enemy.”

“Why not?” Taylor’s anger started to fade as amusement with Jim took its place.

“It may sound silly to you, but I always think of military as being suped-up boy scouts with guns protecting the home front more proactive than cops. You have to follow the rules, protocols…the orders. Following orders.”

“Jim. I’m the one making and giving the orders.”

“I understand that. I’m ok with all of that. I don’t think we need to talk about this.”

Taylor’s voice was devoid of emotion as he did not want sentiment to cloud Jim’s understanding of him. “But, you need to understand me if we are going to be together. I’m not a boy scout. Not even close. How do you think I survived out here alone for all that time by myself? Do you think it was my charisma? It was my skill in evasion and killing.” 

“And I was trained to serve and protect. Military and cops. Different sides…same coin.” Jim replied trying to distract himself from the fact that Taylor did not see a problem with murder if the person was considered the enemy and had taken actions against you. 

“I ran false flag operations and black ops for years.” Taylor made the statement and let it sink in. 

Taylor saw on Jim’s face that he understood fully what that meant and what that would then make Taylor capable of.

“I was a narcotics cop. I’ve been undercover for extended periods of time. We…I did things that were not exactly on the up and up to stay undercover in that kind of world. I did things that I have sent people to prison for.” 

“You were pretending undercover. I live in the world. Is that too much for you?” Taylor questioned.

“We were both in bad places, but are good people. Ok. Lets leave it there.” Jim thought that ended it that it was in the past. 

“Jim. These kinds of things are in here.” Taylor tapped his own temple. “There isn’t anywhere to leave it. It’s a part of me. A darker part of me. It may not show or come out often, but it’s there.”

“I don’t want to talk about this. How did we even start talking about this?”

“You can’t back away from it now. You brought him up. He hurt you. He arranged to have Zoe taken, but your stunt put an end to it. They ended up leaving Zoe with Elizabeth. Then, he had you locked up in prison away from your family. He paid someone to kill you. Do you honestly believe you are the only one he has done this to? If left unchecked, do you think he’s going to do it again? How many more will there be before he messes up and gets caught? If he gets caught then if there is enough proof…Logically, you know he needs to be stopped.”

Jim blinked as he got Taylor’s point. “But by due process. By following the law.”

“You said when you were undercover you were not following the law.”

“That was different, and you know it.” Jim snapped.

“You did those things and watched things happen without stopping it.”

Taylor saw a flicker in Jim’s eyes then continued, “You watched them kill and did not stop them?”

Jim nodded slightly as the memories played in his mind.

“I don’t believe you would have let them kill innocent people. Were they killing innocent people when you just stood by?”

“No. They were murders, and they were trafficking drugs and…and…children.” 

“So you did nothing while the evil people killed other evil people. You did it to find a way to stop them all. You were told to break the law and actively fail to uphold the law. You served and protected for the greater good and to help society as a whole by breaking the law. In the end, you saved innocent lives. You saved the children. In the end, you stopped them from destroying countless lives. Right?”

“Yes, I saved the children. I stopped them. A team of us was working on it. We put them all away.” 

“See. It’s the same thing.”

Jim’s eyes moved around as if he were talking to himself for a moment then he went still. 

“This ex of yours…would I kill him if given the chance…yes, to protect the innocent…you and your family.” Taylor spoke without shame. 

Jim started breathing heavily as a barrage of emotions slammed into him.

“Now you have to tell me, you said you were just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Did it? Is it a deal breaker for you that I would kill someone who has hurt you…someone who paid to have you killed? If I did and you found out, would you lock me up?”

Jim’s voice was determined even thought his expression said he only half believed his own answer, “Yes, I would lock you up.”

Jim’s haunted slate blue eyes tugged and drew Taylor in. The younger man’s loss and pain captivated him above all else. Taylor instinctually wanted to comfort him, to fix him, and to make it better somehow. He wanted to reassure Jim that he would not murder his ex if given the chance. But the truth remained, he would kill the man and needed Jim to see him for who he is not who he wants to be. 

Taylor watched him a few moments before gradually starting to close the distance between their lips, but held just a breath away. “Are you so sure? You seem to break rules a lot. Three children, breaking and entering, broke out of prison, killed a guard in prison…I’m guessing he was the one paid to kill you. The colony rules tell me that I should lock you in the brig for the remainder of your sentence. But, I didn’t think that would serve the greater good. Would locking me up serve the greater good? Would it keep the innocent people safe?” 

Jim let out a shaky breath he had been holding while Taylor had been watching him so closely, “No.” Jim remembered Taylor jumping out of his vehicle to leave himself as bait for a killer dino to save people who were trapped OTG trying to get back in. He remembered Taylor handling Mira in such a way to keep the civilians standing around safe. “You would keep them safe.” 

Taylor ran his tongue over Jim’s lower lip while their eyes remained locked. Jim’s breath came out again in a moan of desperation. Taylor ran his strong hands around Jim’s waist as his lips pressed against soft full lips that parted in trembling welcome. Taylor accepted the offer and pulled Jim against him for a time.

“Can you try to deal with the way I am?” Taylor was anxious for an answer.

“Ok. I’ll try.” Jim uttered the only response he had in him as he watched Taylor. Saying it out loud made him feel as if he just gave something up of himself to Taylor. The alternative of breaking things off with Taylor was so much worse. 

“And, I’ll try to understand you, while you try to understand me.” Taylor confirmed.

Taylor moved to the Command Center ramp to leave and motioned to Jim. “Come on.”

They walked up the path beside the grassy hill behind the Command Center into the tree line to Taylor’s housing unit.

Jim slowly meandered into the housing unit then stopped like he did not knowing what to do and appeared broken. 

While he removed both of his harnesses, Taylor cussed at himself inwardly knowing he had put that wounded expression on Jim’s face.

Taylor retrieved a bottle of wine he had sampled earlier and poured two glasses and handed one to Jim. “Here. Take a sip. It’s good.”

Jim peered at it before taking it from Taylor. He sipped then downed it. Taylor refilled, and Jim repeated twice more.

Taylor was becoming concerned because Jim had not spoken since the Command Center when Taylor had maneuvered Jim into agreeing with him.

“I’m sorry. My intention was not to upset you. I just want you to understand me.” Taylor offered.

“You did not think telling a cop that you plan to commit murder would upset a cop?”

“There are no plans. And, since this man will never be here, I will never kill him.” Taylor rationalized.

“Will you have someone kill him?” Jim set down the empty wine glass and regarded Taylor.

“No. But what I said from the beginning is still true. When you talk about him, I want to kill him.” Taylor thought to himself that he could have someone have someone else kill the man.

“Ok.” Jim noticeably relaxed for the first time since the conversation started. 

“I think you just need to relax.” Taylor finished his wine.

“That’s like telling someone to calm down. It’s not going to happen.” Jim gazed around the room for the first time noticing how open and well lit everything was. 

“It’s going to happen. You just need a good rub down. Come on.” Taylor turned into a room. 

Jim followed thinking that sex sometimes relaxes him. Sometimes.

Taylor walked up to a large dark blanketed bed and pulled off the blanket and then tossed a light blue blanket down. “Take off your clothes and lay down on your stomach.” 

Jim tipped his head, “Uh, don’t you think that…”

Taylor cut him off. “I do think. I think you should just follow the order.”

“Order?” Jim took off his shirt then sat down and took off his shoes and socks. Jim did not know if he felt amused or demeaned, but this was where he had wanted to be since coming to Terra Nova. And, he was not going to refuse Taylor sex. He wanted him far too much to turn anything down. 

“Yes. Order. It’s for your own good.” Taylor’s eyes roved over Jim’s naked chest and abs. “Take everything off and lay down.”

Jim undid his belt and pants as he watched Taylor remove his belt only. Jim held his hands still as he watched Taylor fold the belt in half twice then run his fingers over the leather. “Taylor…?”

“Nathan. Call me Nathan because it’s so much easier to say than Nathaniel. Come on. Just do what I told you to do. What’d ya think I’m gona do? Beat you with my belt? It’s not that complicated. You’ll like it, James.” Taylor set the belt down and pulled off his shirt scratching off belts from his mental list for Jim. 

He felt a little relieved that Taylor had set the belt down at least. When Jim shook his head yes, Taylor had set it down immediately with an expression as if he found Jim amusing. 

Jim was sure if Taylor told him he would like something that he would, but this was kind of abrupt for him. He tried to make sense of everything as he pulled down his pants and boxers to lie down on the bed. He reasoned that Taylor was a no-nonsense military man, so maybe he liked to cut to the chase when it came to bedroom activity. 

“Are you into just getting the job done?” Jim inquired as he lay down on his stomach with his head at the foot of the bed, so he could watch Taylor who had removed everything but his pants. 

“Seriously James, you need to focus on relaxing and take the pillow out from under your head and put it just under your chest.” Taylor slowly pulled of the last of his clothes and watched as Jim’s eyes devoured every inch of his body. 

Jim moved the pillow not understanding why Taylor asked him to do it. When Jim lowered himself, he watched every movement of muscle on Taylor’s body. He felt as if he had waited for ever to be alone like this laying in Taylor’s bed.

Taylor was pleased to see that the wounded expression from earlier was completely replaced by playfully wicked awareness.

Taylor took two steps back to where a large dark green plant stood against the wall. Jim recognized it from his first trip OTG and from an area in agricultural. 

Taylor broke off a small piece of one of a thick leaf and squeezed it over his hand producing a clear oily gel. He stepped forward rubbing his hands together. “Do you have any spinal injuries?”

Jim almost stuttered, “No. Why?”

“It’s good to know before I start.”

Jim watched Taylor’s hands wondering what else he was going to do that needed a warning for spinal injuries, “Do you think that’s enough?”

Taylor glanced at his hands and nodded, “Better not to use too much at first. You can always add. If you use too much, you don’t get any friction at all.”

“Friction?” Jim felt slightly confused. “Why would I want friction?”

“It’s what makes it feel good for you.” Taylor confirmed as if it were final.

Jim closed his eyes and pressed the side of his face down onto his hands that were together under his head. He listened to the slick slide of Taylor’s hands over each other in the oily gel. He pictured Taylor rubbing it on his hard shaft that had been standing to attention proudly. 

Jim felt the dip in the bed as Taylor moved onto it and straddled his thighs. The contact of skin on skin was delicious. Jim kept repeating over and over in his mind that he needed to relax and that Taylor knew what he was doing. 

“Rest your forehead on your hands. James, take slow deep breaths and let me know if the pressure of the deeper strokes are too much.”

“Alright, Nathan. I’ll tell you if it’s too much.” Jim pressed his teeth together and tightened his eyes closed as if bracing for pain.

Taylor leaned forward running his hands up over Jim’s back to his neck then arms and back down again. 

Jim tensed jerking as his voice squawked out, “What are you doing?”

Taylor chuckled. “What does it feel like? A back rub. I told you that you needed a rub down. Why? What did you think I was going to do? Tell you to strip, oil myself up and pounce on you.” Taylor smiled thinking it was a funny joke as he put his hands flat on Jim’s lower back and smoothed them up to his neck then over some on his shoulders and down on the sides. 

When Taylor started the motion again, Jim spoke in a quiet hopeful voice. “You really are going to rub my back?”

Taylor closed his eyes holding his anger in as he moved his hands up again and circled back down, “Of course.” Taylor wondered again exactly how careless Jim’s ex had been with him that Jim thought that Taylor was really going to just pounce on him without any lead up or preparation. Taylor wanted to ask Jim if he had ever enjoyed sex with his ex, but he was afraid the confirmation of the answer would set him on a killing rampage.

“I swear if he ever shows up here…I Will. Kill. Him.” Taylor growled making sure not to press down too hard on Jim’s lower back as he continued rubbing oil into Jim’s tense muscles. 

“Stop talking like that.” Jim finally relaxed under Taylor and lightly closed his eyes with a moan. “God that feels good.”

Taylor could not resist Jim’s reaction to the back rub and smiled playfully, and it showed in his voice, “Commander will suffice.” 

Jim smiled more, “Alright, Commander that feels good.”

Taylor then changed techniques using the heels of his hands so that the pressure was deeper and worked both hands in circles starting at Jim’s lower back. Taylor moved in a circle first outward then upward returning to the center and progressively worked to his upper back. 

Taylor continued to work Jim’s back then moved down over his ass to rub on each of his legs and feet. “Tell me how this feels.” 

Breathless words escaped Jim’s parted lips, “Floating...like heaven.”

“Are you relaxed now? Are you warm enough?” Taylor’s deep voice inquired as he climbed back up Jim’s fully oiled body then lay slightly to the side, but kept their bodies in contact. 

“Mmhhhmmm.” 

“Good. Lay there for a while.” 

Jim closed his eyes as his muscles felt like fluid. He couldn’t have gotten up if he was ordered to. He drifted in and out of a light sleep a few times before he opened his eyes to see Taylor watching him with a predatory stare. 

“Nathan, can I ask you something?” Jim’s slightly parted eyes focused on Taylor’s lips.

“Just did.” Taylor was watching him intently.

Jim huffed. “I mean. Can I ask something from you?”

Taylor decided toying with Jim was just too easy at this point and just answered, “You can ask.”

It hung in the air that it did not mean Taylor would agree to it. Jim was still floating and did not pick up on it. 

“It’s my turn.” His rich voice seemed to float on the same clouds his body was on.

“Yes.” Taylor confirmed remembering that in the gun cache that Jim had taken care of him and got him off. 

“So, aaahhhhh would you return the favor?” Jim opened his eyes fully to watch Taylor’s response. 

Jim watched on Taylor’s face as his features changed. It was obvious that the answer was no. 

Taylor went to open his mouth, but Jim jumped in faster, “Don’t say no. It’s been years. Years Nathan. Please, I’ll do anything you want…just don’t say no.”

Within a blink of Jim’s eyes, he was grabbed and rolled onto his back. Taylor was on top of him pinning his wrists over his head with one hand and the other rested on his chest slowly moving up. Jim gasped for air as the predator slowly moved his hand over his neck without any of the gentleness that was used moments ago on his back. 

Taylor’s face was inches away from Jim’s when Taylor’s hand settled firmly over the sides of Jim’s neck. He did not block air, but Jim’s blood flow was decreased. Jim felt a strain in his eyes and the sides of his face just before Taylor released the tightness of the grip and moved his hand up so that his thumb was over his jaw and two fingers were over and the others were under. The palm of Taylor’s hand, just at the base of his index finger, pressed against the point of Jim’s chin, and he lifted Jim’s head up to meet his gaze. 

Jim remembered something less forceful than this as they lay amongst the foliage after Taylor saved him from the Slasher. Jim guessed this was one of Taylor’s things that he likes to grab at you to move you the way he wants you. Jim thought of a few positions that he wished Taylor would grab and put him in.

Cool Slate blue eyes fixed onto electrifying cerulean blue. 

Taylor’s voice reverberated in deep graveled tones, “Anything?” Taylor rubbed his hardened body against Jim as he spoke in total fascination. “You would offer me full reign over your body…anything?”

Jim wanted to regret the statement, but could not as he saw within Taylor’s eyes that the offer was truly something utterly tempting. “Yes, anything but death and any permanent damage, but later.”

Taylor stopped grinding his body and leaned his face even closer, “When later?”

Jim did not know where his determination was coming from, “When I say later is.”

“When are you going to tell me when later is?” 

Jim felt the grip on his jaw loosen somewhat, “Later.”

Taylor nodded his head and let go of Jim’s wrists. 

Jim remembered when he had nodded yes to Mira when she gave Taylor her demands. The nod had not meant yes, only that he understood what was said before he gave her everything, but one thing she asked. 

“Alright, I’ll return the favor.” Taylor offered as he removed his hand from Jim’s jaw and slid it down to his chest feeling the light sprinkle of dark hair. “As long as later is not more than a couple of weeks.”

“And, the favor for me is right now.” Jim just had to slip that last part in just in case. 

Taylor grinned hoping to reinforce Jim’s assertiveness in these situations. “Now? Bossy when you’re turned on. I like it. Yes, the favor is now.”

Taylor’s hand moved farther down, but avoided the main event and went to the dip in Jim’s hip. The delicately soft skin was highly sensitive to touch causing Jim’s body to shiver with the slightest movement of Taylor’s expert hand. 

His wicked hand slid lower then raked up his thy. “Years? You’ve been here for a little.”

Jim gasped when Taylor’s warm mouth closed over one of his nipples with a little tug and bite just as his hand gripped his thy. 

Jim’s shaky voice from arousal attempted to sound normal, “Children in the way. Not comfortable together yet. I sleep mmmmm on the couch.”

Taylor traced his tongue over Jim’s abs as his hand moved up his thy to lightly trace over and feel the weight of his balls before gripping the thickness of his shaft. He released him for a moment to grab the leaf end that was on the bed and managed to get a little oil out and applied it to Jim’s shaft. Taylor already knew the oil tasted good, so he knew he would not mind the flavor and knew now that he would not chafe Jim or get cotton mouth himself.

Jim’s eyes moved down to watch Taylor’s hand that was now gripping him and Taylor’s mouth that was slowly moving in that direction. Jim leaned up as he slid the pillow, which had been under his chest earlier, into position under his head and shoulders so he could watch more easily. 

“Nathan?” Jim’s shaky and desperate voice sounded.

Taylor met his eyes but did not stop the laving of his tongue over the next indention of muscle.

“Thank you.” Jim lowered his hand down and gripped Taylor’s bicep then ran his thumb back and forth. He felt grateful that this powerful man was attending to his needs and request while taking his time and not just working him off as quickly as possible. 

If someone even suggested to him a month ago that the legendary Commander Taylor would be naked in bed with him about to take him into his mouth, he would have laughed at them thinking them crazy and delusional of reality. To him, it was surreal to the point of being bizarre.

Taylor smirked, “James, I haven’t done anything yet.” He flicked his tongue once quickly and gave a squeeze with his hand.

The playfulness of his voice and the lights dancing in Taylor’s blue eyes pushed at Jim intensifying his emotions and thoughts about the situation. Jim closed his eyes as he felt the sting of tears and pressed back into the pillow raking one hand over his face and into his hairline. 

He did not want Taylor to notice and hoped he closed his eyes in time, which he didn’t. 

Taylor noticed and pretended that he didn’t. 

Instead of commenting on Jim’s emotional state, Taylor turned all of his attention to pleasuring the younger man. 

He wondered if Jim did not think that he wanted to complete the task at hand, and Taylor knew that could ruin the experience for Jim. He had guessed that Jim had not really enjoyed things with his ex, so he wanted Jim to take pleasure in this without any inner turmoil. 

“I can’t stop thinking of the way your mouth felt. You’re mouth is amazing. I hope you’ll enjoy this as much as I enjoyed you sucking on me.” Taylor breathed out over Jim’s stomach as he positioned himself to take Jim into his mouth. 

Taylor peered up to Jim and saw that Jim was back to watching him again, but this time had an intensely aroused expression on his face with his lips parted. Taylor had no intention of deep throating Jim, but knew other things that Jim would most likely enjoy because he enjoyed it himself. 

Taylor pressed the tip of his tongue to Jim’s tip for a moment then flicked his tongue like a snake before taking the tip into his mouth. He tightened his lips just under the tip applying a firm pressure then relaxed flicking his tongue again. After a few times, he lowered his mouth some so that his tongue could have free reign over the area where the shaft meets the tip. He rubbed his tongue back and forth as he raised and lowered his head. He stopped periodically to lave long strokes and shorts circular ones up and down. 

During one such instance he inquired, “Do you like this or do you want me to stop?”

“Don’t stop.” Jim gasped out.

Taylor kept licking on Jim, “You’re saying Don’t and to Stop?”

“No nooooo no no no.” Jim opened his eyes and was looking down at Taylor who swirled his tongue over the tip and gave a light suck. 

“You’re saying nooo you don’t like this?” Taylor asked moving his mouth away some as he knew he was toying with Jim on purpose because he knew what he meant all along. 

“Nathan, I like what you’re doing. Keep doing it.” Jim stammered out completely frustrated and panting while a bead of sweat dripped down the side of his face. 

He felt so warm like he was going to catch on fire if Taylor did not continue. “Please keep going. I like it. I like it a lot. Please. It feels so good.” 

Jim rubbed on Taylor’s muscular arm and felt flexing underneath his hand. 

“Alright, if you’re sure. Maybe you should periodically tell me if what I’m doing feels good or not, just so I’ll know. It’s been quite a while since I’ve done this for anyone.” Taylor moved back into position, but did not start again. 

Jim wondered when the last time was that Taylor had a relationship with a man and how long it had been since he had done this exact act for another man. The slight movement of Taylor’s hand blanked out all of those thoughts as he prompted, “I will. Keep going. Please.”

Taylor mimicked something that Jim had done to him where he was sucking down twisting his head clockwise as his hand gripped the base twisting in the opposite direction. He started out slow and careful then started to get into it and move more rapidly when he heard the sounds coming from Jim, which were a mixture of a hum and moan that showed how fully he was enjoying himself. 

Jim was panting and gripping the blanket as if his life depended on it. He was mindlessly rocking his hips slightly with Taylor’s movements till Taylor’s hand held him still. 

“Nathan ahhh unbelievably mmm good ohh close…” His voice cut off in a gasping moan as he pressed his head back and flexed the muscles in his legs caught in a wave of pleasure. He was very close.

Taylor slowed and stopped to move back to just licking to let Jim come back down, so that he did not release just yet. 

He wanted to draw things out longer in order to give Jim full payment for what he was going to ask of him in return for this act. 

“Why stop?” Jim asked frustrated.

“Didn’t stop. I’m just not done with you yet.” Taylor’s voice rumbled out thick with gravel. 

“Keep going. Please.” Jim felt completely undone by what Taylor had said and wanted to grab him to pull him up for a kiss.

And now, Taylor did not feel that he was at Jim’s mercy anymore because he had made that clear that he was the one in control. He was the one that would decide when Jim would orgasm, he was the one dictating what was being done, and Jim was the one begging for it. 

Taylor denied to himself that he was having an emotional reaction with Jim, and lied to himself that this was just sex, but deep down he knew…he was falling. 

Jim whimpered and gripped at Taylor’s arm as his other hand played in Taylor’s hair.

Taylor took him into his mouth and growled his approval at his new toy he was playing with causing vibrations from his lips and mouth to reverberate over Jim’s thickness. 

Jim removed his hand from Taylor’s hair and pressed his hand down on the bed. He then pulled at the blanket mindlessly as Taylor worked his hand down over his balls again moving to the patch of skin just behind, but not quite to his ass yet. Taylor pressed and rubbed with his fingers and let his thumb trace over the dividing line on his balls. He then moved his mouth down to where his thumb was and moved both over the area while his other hand gripped and worked his shaft. 

Jim instantly moaned out, “Yes. Perfect. Mmmmmm…” Wordless sounds trailed out of his mouth while Taylor continued to work his own mouth. 

Taylor moved his tongue around the area then back up to his shaft running along the underside up to the tip then took him back in his mouth to finish him off. He licked and sucked twisting his mouth and hand as he worked up and down his length bringing strangled cries from the other man’s lips. 

Jim finally found words again, “Getting mmmm close….close.”

Taylor focused on moving his fingertips to stimulate the nerve endings over Jim’s perineum as he moved his mouth off of his shaft and worked his hand more in its place. He trailed his mouth back down to his balls and laved over the vertical line then sucked listening to the sounds Jim made as he jerked and strained under him. 

“Cum for me. Show me how much you like this. Cum.” Taylor’s deep voice reverberated over Jim’s skin like heat from a desert’s wind. 

Jim groaned out repetitively and struggled under Taylor’s onslaught in a maddened frenzy as heat consumed his body. Jim gripped Taylor’s arm and dug his fingers in completely mindless to what he was doing. Jim’s only reality was the heated pumping, licking, and rubbing that consumed the lower half of his body as he yelled out his release that fell onto his chest. Jim continued to gasp for air as Taylor slowly worked him down. 

Watching Jim’s body strain and the display of ecstasy on Jim’s handsome face while listening to the sounds he made, burned Taylor with the same heat causing his body to pulse with his own undeniable need. 

Jim lay there completely spent as he heard Taylor’s words when he returned to clean him off, “Ok, now you can thank me.”

Jim laughed while Taylor washed him off. 

Taylor tossed the towel to the side off the bed and responded as if talking to someone else in the room, “Laughter? I suck his dick then he laughs at me. That’s a new one.”

Jim instantly stopped laughing as his eyes flashed open and looked at the communication screen that was blank then to Taylor. 

Taylor leaned on his side, “What you think I’m talking to someone else? Did you think that I would let someone, like Wash, watch us or that Malcolm had interrupted us again? Seriously, you need to learn to relax.” 

Both men laughed thinking of Malcolm’s interruption, but Taylor stopped laughing first as he watched Jim with hooded eyes. 

Jim noticed and did a once over of Taylor’s body seeing now perfectly hard he was. “Is it back to being your turn?”

Taylor responded more seriously, “Unless you tell me I have to wait for later.”

The word later was becoming a thing with them, and they both noticed it at the same time.

Jim kissed Taylor letting his tongue dance with Taylor’s, but pulled back when Taylor went to grab him with his hands. “Nathan, I want to ask something?”

“Now what?” Taylor smirked as one side of his smile quirked up higher. 

“Have you ever taken care of yourself while thinking about me?” Jim actually minutely blushed when he asked.

Taylor pondered Jim being the death of him because he had already let the man mess with his mind and his heart and those were two things that he rarely let anyone get into. He guessed there was no denying it now that he had fallen for Jim and that shifted the power in Jim’s favor. 

Taylor knew himself that when he was completely gone for someone that he would do just about anything they wanted or needed because he felt responsible for them. 

Taylor though why not, “Yes.”

“When?”

“Yesterday.”

Jim’s eyes flicked as he traced a hand over Taylor’s arm in the places where he had bruises from Jim gripping him earlier. “I want to ask something else from you?”

He almost felt at Jim’s mercy again because he now wanted to protect him, please him, keep him safe, and give him the things he asks for. “I swear you’re killing me.”

“I said it was your turn, and it is. I was just going to ask if…if you would take care of yourself, and let me watch.” Jim had to force the words out.

Taylor glanced around and almost huffed out in frustration and aggravation, but controlled himself. “Why? And, make it convincing.”

Jim faced Taylor more directly. “I want to watch you. I want to see how you touch yourself when you think about me. I’ll help some.”

“Some?”

“Yes.” Jim flicked his tongue over the two lined indentions in his lower lip knowing that they were a point of fascination for Taylor.

Taylor growled and lay back on the bed staring at the ceiling. He had no idea if he was going to do it or not.

Jim gripped Taylor’s wrist and raised his hand then laid it down in Taylor’s lap with a big smile. 

Taylor snapped at him slightly playing, “Is that your idea of helping some?”

Jim shook his head yes still smiling like an idiot. 

Taylor growled and continued to stare at the ceiling in frustration because he was very turned on and wanted the feel of Jim’s mouth sucking on him again. 

Jim moved Taylor’s hand so that his palm was pressing to his shaft then pressed his fingers around. 

Taylor was about to pull his hand away when he felt Jim’s tongue flick between his fingers stroking his shaft. “Show me. Let me watch you. I like watching you. Please, Nathan.”

Taylor could not resist now that Jim’s tongue came into play and gripped himself at the base, but did not move his hand. 

Jim ran this tongue over one of Taylor’s fingers then to the side where his finger touched his shaft and licked so this tongue touched half of each. Jim relished the sensations of touch as Taylor started moaning approval. 

“Show me.” Jim prompted then swirled his lips and tongue over Taylor’s tip.

Jim picked up Taylor’s other hand and placed it lower in Taylor’s lap over his balls. “Show me what you did, and I’ll help.”

When Taylor did not start moving his hands, Jim pulled Taylor’s hand off of his shaft and licked over Taylor’s shaft before taking all of him into this mouth and throat. He paused there then moved back up listening to the moans escaping from the older man’s mouth. He raised his head back off.

Jim asked, “Again?”

Taylor growled and ran his fingers in Jim’s hair then pressed down gently. Jim felt tingles of awareness over his entire body at the deep predatory sound coming from Taylor.

Jim obliged several more times then slid his mouth up not breaking contact then put Taylor’s hand back in place. He sucked up and down on the area afforded to him. After placing his hand over Taylor’s hand on Taylor’s shaft, their hands moved together. Jim let go and ran his finger tips over Taylor’s thy. 

Jim’s eyes drank in every movement of Taylor’s hands and body. Jim thought that fantasies were always better than reality, but the actual sight of Taylor stroking himself was so much better than the paltry fantasy he had pictured.

“Damn you’re so hot.” Jim could not help himself from making the comment. 

Jim removed his mouth and just licked letting his tongue run down his shaft then touched Taylor’s fingers before running his tongue back up. 

He was more watching than participating at his point. Jim still couldn’t believe he was naked in bed with Commander Nathaniel Taylor, but he was starting to feel a rightness being with Nathan. 

Taylor’s needy voice sounded like a clash of thunder, “James?”

Jim instantly moved his mouth back and slid his mouth all the way down to the other man’s hand. The deep rumble in his chest was all he needed to know that he did the right thing.

Taylor peered down at the younger man hungrily devouring him, and his body sizzled like he had been struck by lightning.

“Almost there.” Taylor grunted out as they feverishly worked in unison towards the same goal. 

Jim felt Taylor tensing and moved his mouth up and pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth to avoid choking on the inevitable like he almost had the first time. 

Taylor’s voice boomed forward unintelligibly as his storm finally broke within Jim’s mouth. Jim swallowed and continued to move slowly along with Taylor’s hand a few moments till Taylor let go of himself. Then, Jim moved his mouth down cleaning him off completely. 

Taylor watched Jim’s actions knowing something about it feed his need for Jim and would probably haunt his dreams if ever he got to sleep tonight. 

“I guess now it’s my turn to thank you.” Taylor remarked as Jim moved up beside him.

Taylor tapped on his chest, and Jim laid his head down to listen to his heart beat. Jim wrapped his arm around Taylor’s waist and closed his eyes. 

As Taylor’s hand played lightly in Jim’s hair, Jim jerked away sitting up with an expression of horror on his face.

Taylor went into alert mode, “What?”

“Oh my gaaaawd what time is it?”

“Just after midnight.” Taylor watched intently.

“I shouldn’t have stayed longer than an hour or two.” Jim stood up and started dressing.

“Jump in the shower first if you want.” Taylor was getting mental images now of the last time they were in the shower now that he knew Jim’s reaction was nothing dangerous. He remembered Elizabeth’s declaration of her claim on him then thought better of discounting the danger.

Jim started putting on his pants and finally scrutinized what his wife had given him knowing now what it was. “I don’t have time for Skittles.” 

Taylor smiled remembering the drug trip Jim had been on that caused him to see the water turn to Skittles when it ran down his body. “Is that what you call us in the shower together?”

“See you were going to join me and make me even more late. We need to set time limits.” Jim put on his shoes. 

Taylor glanced at his lap then back to Jim inquiring incredulously, “You’re going to start timing me?”

“Yes.” Jim responded almost happily as he finished putting on his shoes and stood up to eyeball Taylor completely uncovered and unashamed lying in his bed naked.

“You’re trying to kill me right?” Taylor smirked at him laying down more and rested his head on his hand that was propped up on his elbow.

“You’re trying to fuck me right?” Jim countered.

“Keep that up and once you’re gone, I’ll have to repeat what we just did to me all over again. Aren’t you going to kiss me goodbye?” Taylor asked with a wicked gleam in his eye.

“No.” Jim stayed where he was. 

“Why not?” Taylor traced a hand over his chest.

“Because you’ll try to grab me and pull me back into your bed or the shower.” Jim spoke while watching every movement of Taylor’s hand.

Jim blinked then checked his clothing seeing that his belt was not exactly right and fixed it. There was a snapping sound that came from his wrist. He rotated it once.

“You need to have Elizabeth take a look at that and fix it.”

Jim dropped his hand and stared with a seriously intent expression on his face. He had his eyes locked with Taylor’s for almost a minute before speaking. “Some things she can’t fix.”

Taylor knew he was not talking about his wrist and just watched the emotions on his face. He almost got up and went to him.

Jim continued. “Don’t get up. I need to go.” Jim paused a few moments, “The things she can’t fix, you’re helping me with. And, I don’t just mean sex.”

They watched each other closely knowing that something more than a physical attachment was forming. The intimacy of their gazes far surpassed what they had just done in bed.

“Not juuuuuust seeex…” The way Taylor exaggeratedly said the words caused Jim to bust out in laughter.

And with that, the mood instantly lightened back up again. Jim smiled, “I really do have to go.”

Taylor couldn’t think of any reason for Jim to stay other than he just wanted him to, but he would not ask that of him. “I know. Go home to your family. I know you need to go.”

Jim nodded and turned to leave then after taking a several steps remembered he had left his com and turned back for it.

Taylor had watched Jim turn away to leave to go to his family, and Taylor had been instantly flooded with the pain from the loss of his own family. He no longer had anyone. He gazed at nothing as he pictured the last time he saw his son. He remembered the hatred that had obviously been in his eyes those years ago when they parted after his son had sent for someone to kill him and take over his command from him. His son willingly betrayed him and the colony threatening the lives of all of the civilians living within its confines.

Taylor’s vision changed to the memory of the last moment of his wife’s life. It was a violent and bloody end, which he was unable to save her from. Loss and loneliness shrouded him as he sat alone in his bed…again. Late at night when he was alone, his mind always drifted to them. He knew he would be by himself again tonight, and somehow he felt even more alone knowing that Jim was leaving. He thought about going to Wash, but she was not someone he could snuggle up with. 

Jim fully turned around and was struck down by the sight before him. He almost stumbled into the floor. His heart could not withstand the ferocity of the pain he saw in Taylor’s eyes as Taylor stared down at the floor where Jim had just been standing. 

Jim knew the complexity and range of Taylor’s anguish had to be more than him leaving, but knew that he could not ask what it was all about. He felt helpless. He felt that he needed to fix it somehow. He stood up straight and moved forward into the light.

Taylor’s face instantly snapped to his blank military face that revealed nothing.

Jim knew the look. He knew he had a cop’s version of it that he saved to use in crucial times when giving yourself away could mean death. 

“Forgot something.” Jim thought two can play that game and slid his cop blank stare into place.

Taylor scrutinized him knowing he saw because of the way he looked at him before his face blanked out.

Jim picked up his com and turned it to his home com that he left beside Elizabeth on the couch. If he still knew her, she was still there and would be for another hour reading over her medical reports and procedure.

“Elizabeth?” Jim glanced around the room ignoring Taylor who he knew was still watching him.

“Yes, Jim.” Her voice held no hints of slumber.

“Still reading?”

“Yes, I’m almost done.” There was a hint of a giggle at the end when she turned off the com on her end.

Jim turned to Taylor and looked him directly in the eye, “There is a security camera that picked something up, and I need to look into it. I don’t know how late I will be or if I will even get in tonight. There’s no telling where this will lead me once I start inspecting the area.”

“Ok, I’m going to finish reading then go to bed in about an hour. If I don’t see you, then I will see you after work tomorrow. Go hunt the bad guys. Jim, be safe and whoever is helping you scout around tell them I said to be careful.”

“Ok. I will. Night.”

“Night.” Elizabeth did not sound upset in the slightest. 

“She said for you to be careful.” Jim told Taylor in dead pan then dropped his cop mask and asked with his eyes if he could stay.

Taylor dropped his mask, “I heard her. She…keeps telling me that.”

“Apparently, she worries about me.” Jim’s eyes told Taylor that he worries about him instead.

Taylor closed his eyes and tipped his head down still felling his emotions from earlier and tried to push it back with the knowledge that Jim was staying the night with him. It was still there and part of him wanted it to be.

“I’ll restate what I said earlier this evening. I’m fucked up.” Taylor peered up at Jim not hiding anything from him this time. 

Jim tossed the com down on a small table then took off one shoe and dropped it noisily. 

Taylor’s anguish lessened as he watched Jim curiously. 

Jim took off the other shoe and held it out like he was going to drop it and dangled it a moment before setting it down carefully making no noise. “Then I’ll also state something you said earlier. As of right now…I don’t wear shoes. When you said you would not be the one dropping the other shoe because you don’t wear shoes, well…I am letting you know, I don’t wear shoes anymore either. So, I will not be dropping it either.”

Taylor felt the impact of what Jim was saying, and it showed on his face. Hope was replacing despair.

Jim continued, “I’ll also tell you something that I told Elizabeth years ago when we were still kids, you’re stuck with me. So are you going to lend me a pair of your old boots or something? We wear the same size if you hadn’t noticed.”

Taylor glanced at the front of Jim’s pants, “I noticed, but still think we need to do a side by side comparison…calibration.”

“As in buying a new gun and wanting to calibrate it since you haven’t got to shoot it yet in the field?” Jim put together some of Taylor’s words from earlier in the night.

“I guess I have shot it once tonight.” Taylor glanced from Jim’s pants to his chest, “Has a good aim, but can it be shot again tonight?”

Jim touched his chest then took off his shirt tossing it on the floor then glanced to the bathroom and back to Taylor. “How about you? Up for a side by side calibration right now? We put them together with some soap and calibrate together at the same time?”

Taylor tipped his head thinking he might need to wait another fifteen minutes.

“Lets not even think about this. Never forget I’m married to a doctor. She um gave me something as I was leaving the house. I just found out what it is.” Jim pulled one of the somethings out of his pants pocket, walked forward, and touched it to Taylor’s arm then to his own. 

Jim glanced over Taylor seeing he was hard again and shook his head yes, “A lesser hallucinogenic, but more side effect causing version of that power drug that got on me. She also gave antidote if we need it. Jim stripped completely, and obviously it had the same result with him.

Taylor thought about the hallucinogen that has a side effect of making a man hard for quite a while, and remembered if the guy cums then he just gets hard again. He thought about Elizabeth handing these items to her hubby for his night out with the Commander. He shook his head thinking with Elizabeth there was more going on then the little miss goody two shoes act.

Taylor offered with a smirk on one side of his face, “Skittles?” 

Jim smiled, “Taste the rainbow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, and my Miles from Avatar action figure, which is of Stephen Lang (Taylor). *looks around for a Jim action figure* LOL! Ok, I worked on this forever. Please tell me what you think.


	8. Resistance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things I was thinking about when I wrote this chapter: In ep Instinct, Taylor blurting out “you wouldn’t believe the racket when they start…” and Jim questioning Elizabeth about Malcolm, ep where Taylor lost his memory and roughed up Jim, and the ep where Jim asked Taylor what was going on when Taylor accused Jim of being the spy for the Sixers. Taylor waited a little then just started spilling his guts about killing someone in self defense. I thought ok maybe he is just open with Jim sometimes and can’t help it. Oooh I like.

Taylor and Jim walked around the rock foundation of the Command Center to the back. Taylor entered a code on a hidden control and let Jim watch knowing his cop eyes were memorizing it. 

Jim saw on Taylor’s face that he knew he memorized the numbers. It still felt strange to Jim to so easily see Taylor’s thoughts on his face instead of a scowl. 

Taylor opened the door and turned on the lights. He watched Jim with a slight smile with no reservations. 

Jim beamed back thinking that Taylor’s bright blue eyes never looked happier and that somehow the release of the tension on Taylor’s face made him appear younger.

“Come in the lights are on.” Taylor’s eyes openly appraised Jim’s well built body.

“Looks like a storage dungeon room.” Jim entered and closed the door behind him to see a screen blink to life that let him watch what was happening outside the door. “Nice security.”

“Thanks.” Taylor went to a container and pulled something back on the floor to show a hatch in the ground, which he opened next. 

Jim peered down into the darkness thinking about the weapon’s cash. “I don’t know about this.”

Taylor flipped on the lights inside. “It is all lit up with white lights, and I added something just for you. This…this is my place. I have a housing unit where I keep things like weapons, but his is my home. No one comes down here, but me. Well, sometimes Wash, but not often. She drove me crazy when we first got together till I let her come down here a few times. We mainly meet at her housing unit now. No one but Wash knows about this place, but you now. And, no powder drugs I swear. Trust me?”

Jim stepped forward even though he felt unnerved by closed in spaces. “Yes.” 

Taylor climbed down, and Jim followed reluctantly. As his feet touched down Jim spoke, “How is Wash taking this?”

Jim turned around to see an expanse roughly four times the size of the Command Center with a few doors off to one side. He saw one wall that was as screen showing daytime footage of a view into the jungle, “Wow.” 

“You told me some of your secrets, and this is one of mine. I built this myself and the door on the left that is locked goes down a tunnel that leads to a cave system that empties into a lake that is OTG. That screen is what I added for you. That is your view out. Like it?” Taylor asked hopeful.

“Yes. I do.” Jim watched the wall that was covered with a hologram projection of the wooded area outside the gates. He stepped forward peering up following the line of the large trees then to the rolling fog that hovered over the ground. “Can’t tell it’s fake. It’s just like looking out a window. I like it. Thanks.” 

Jim turned around to Taylor, “So are you going to answer me?” 

“Yes.”

“And?”

“She’s fine with it. She just wants to watch.” Taylor hung up his leather pistol harness on a hook at the base by the ladder. 

“Excuse me?” Jim’s eyebrows shot up.

“Watch.” Taylor went on to remove his other holster and hang it up. 

“Watch us having sex?” Jim asked incredulously.

“Yes.” Taylor removed his boots and pointed to Jim’s. 

“What did you tell her?” Jim inquired still feeling shocked while he took his boots off and left them by the ladder on a mat. He wanted to know if Taylor said no or yes.

“The gist of what happened, so she said this morning that if Malcolm gets to watch that she does too.” Taylor walked into the kitchen area. “Malcolm said something to her over the com system about her being in bed with me. He thought you were her.”

“You talked to her this morning. Were you with her…wiiiiith her this morning?” Jim followed him into the kitchen. He had never met Malcolm, but stored that information for later.

“Were you with your wife this morning?” Taylor shot back instead of answering.

“That’s fair. And the answer is Zoe has been sleeping in bed with her instead of me. We haven’t slept together since the night before they locked me up.” Jim responded feeling dense that he had asked Taylor the question about Wash.

“Oh. And, I have not been with Wash after you and I kissed. I have no intentions of leaving her just as you have no intentions of leaving your family. We need to keep this quiet.”

Taylor washed his hands in the kitchen sink. “You and I being together with you being married would not go over well with my men or the colony. I am the one who is supposed to uphold the Colonial Charter Rules, even though I don’t enforce every letter of it. I can’t let this be known. I think all four of us understand that.” Taylor’s deep voice trailed off. 

Taylor took a bowl of fruit out of the refrigerator as he continued. “You have another question. Just ask. I’m going to get us something to eat. Grab some wine.” 

Jim pulled a bottle of wine off of a stand and eyed it. It was wine from their real time. Wine was rare there and having wine from there here was even rarer. Jim had never opened a bottle like this before. He looked at the cork for a moment. 

“I don’t know how to open this. And sorry, but I don’t know how to cook.” Jim told himself that a lot of things were different here, and it would take time to adapt.

Taylor had finished rinsing off some of the fruit. “Most people from then don’t. No one needs to cook there. Everything is premade and usually synthesized. Here use this to open the bottle. It screws down then pulls the sides down. It pops the cork up. Before I came here, they actually ordered me to take a cooking class. It was called Cooking in the Wild. They didn’t tell me that part. I thought it would be some type of training on what to and what not to eat or how to use a med kit to determine if it was even edible. No. It was a fancy chief who taught a group of us how to use stoves and prepare meals. I had never seen a stove in real life before, but from watching ancient movies I had an idea.”

“Well, I can’t tell what’s a fruit or vegetable. Maddy tried to explain to me something about vegetables usually have have red or purple, but if any part of them is blue you have to rinse it in cold water and cut those parts off. Something about parasite larva. She said some have to be heated for long periods of time or they are rock hard and others that you are suppose to eat cold. Didn’t help much.”

“You’ll figure it out eventually. Here.” Taylor reached out.

Jim took the strange item from Taylor and went to trying to open the wine bottle. “Has she watched you with someone before?”

Taylor knew that Jim would not be distracted by the cooking story. “No. She just likes to watch. It’s one of her things.” Taylor wondered if he should have told Jim that or not. “What I tell you Jim, you need to keep to yourself ok?”

“Sure. Um do you want her to watch?” 

“I told her no.” Taylor picked up a knife and started cutting into the first piece of what looked to be fruit.

“You told her no, but do you want her to watch?” Jim was relentless. 

“I want our…first interactions to be our own.” Taylor began chopping quickly and efficiently. 

“But then would you want her to watch?” Jim tried to make sense of the different expressions that played on Taylor’s face.

“Do you want her to watch?” Taylor countered.

Jim folded his arms, “Not gona answer me?”

Taylor chopped a few pieces slowly. “At first, no. After a while, I don’t know. I honestly don’t. So now answer me?” 

Jim unfolded his arms. “After hearing about you tackling her from the locals, I don’t know if I would want her critiquing me.”

“She wouldn’t be critiquing you. She would be too busy getting off herself. Would you want Elizabeth watching?” Taylor added the info about the locals talking to his list of things to deal with tomorrow.

“Definitely no. No way. Things with her are giggly and romantic, so I don’t think things would mix.” Jim turned pink then red with the thought of Elizabeth standing in the room watching Jim service Taylor. “She won’t even talk about it let alone be in the room.” 

“Ok. That’s settled.” Taylor took a bite of one of the pieces he just cut. “How’s it going with the wine bottle? Need help?”

There was something Jim needed more help with then how to get a wine bottle open.

“Taylor.” The need was obvious in his voice. 

Taylor stopped in mid-slice, and his eyes darted up knowing the tone. “When we are like this and completely alone down here, I don’t want to be Commander Nathaniel Taylor.”

Jim noticed that Taylor never put back up his role of Commander Taylor. He was just being himself and letting his feelings show on his face without the controlled facade he always shows others. 

It was like a constant interrogation around him sometimes. He guessed Taylor did it so much that he was just like that, but apparently not. Not when he was alone with him. 

Taylor finishes the slice and took another bite watching Jim. “This is something separate from all of that and from all of them.” He waved the knife up. “I like giving people nicknames. Since you’re already called by a nickname, I’ll call you James. Like the other night, you call me Nathan. That can be your nickname for me if that’s alright with you.” 

Jim nodded completely fascinated by Taylor’s open expressions. He could see how much it meant to him. He closely watched the light dancing off of his electric blue eyes and was unable to move. He was captivated.

Taylor sliced another piece and stabbed it then held it out to Jim. “I’ll give you whatever you need from me if it is mine to give. Mine to give not the Commanders to give. Do you understand?” 

Jim found the will to speak. “Same goes for me. When I’m James, I’m James. When I am a cop, I can’t be anything but a cop.”

Taylor nodded once contemplating how much he could trust Jim once they were out in the colony.

Jim went to reach for the fruit with his fingers, and Taylor pulled it back.

Jim paused and when Taylor extended it again. Jim leaned forward and took it off of the blade with his teeth. He kept his eyes on the tip of the knife even after he pulled away.

“James, do you like knives?” Taylor started with his mental checklist. This item had been much lower down on the list, but the way Jim was staring at the knife. He just needed to know.

“To look at.” Jim caught his meaning.

Taylor scratched it off his list.

“Dressing up while role playing?” Taylor tried for something lighter.

“Yes. I like being a cowboy, but I had to leave all my stuff there.” Jim thought about his hat then about his great grandfather’s pocket knife. It struck him with sadness to realize that he did not have anything from his parents or grandparents anymore. Just photos on Elizabeth’s Plexpad.

Taylor was starting to feel turned on picturing Jim with his gun holster, cowboy hat and boots, but saw the expression on his face change becoming more distant. “We’ll get you more stuff. I have a Carno leather vest you might like.”

Jim smiled again and managed to open the wine. He glanced around deciding which wooden cabinet would have glasses when Taylor pointed over his shoulder. 

“Do you like to bite or be bitten?” Taylor asked while putting the fruit in a thin stone bowl. 

Jim moved behind him watching as he retrieved the glasses. “Be bitten sometimes, but not to the point of dark bruises.”

“What about being tied up like when playing cops and robbers?”

“I don’t like being tied up.”

“Do you like to tie someone else up then?” Taylor thought about Jim’s cuffs and a fun idea of role playing with them.

“No, I don’t like to tie people up.” Jim’s face scrunched on one side.

Taylor noticed he repeated the question as part of the answer. “Is that a yes it turns you on, but you don’t like the idea of it?”

“Kind of. Yes.” Jim looked down pouring the wine then back up. 

“What part about it do you not like?” Taylor was intrigued.

“Causing pain on purpose. My protective instincts kick in.” Jim honestly answered.

“You like the idea of tying someone up, but would not want to harm them?”

“Yes, that’s right.” Jim took a deep breath and slid Taylor’s wine glass over to him.

Taylor took the glass and bowl and went to his couch that was turned to the wall screen that still showed a daytime view of the mountains. “So you would be ok playing cops and robbers and catching me, cuffing me, but you would not want to punish me.”

Jim followed and sat down noticing that the brown and black couch was made of soft leather. His mind offered a picture of a Carnotaurus. “Punish you as in hurt you on purpose? No. Pretend to catch you. Yes.” Jim pondered where all this was going.

“I can work with that. Maybe, you would catch and cuff then use your powers of persuasion with your mouth to get me to tell you where I store all my loot.” Taylor raised his eyebrows a couple of times and slowly put a piece of the red fruit in his mouth. 

Jim thought he was being as subtle as a suspect waving the murder weapon around with blood on it yelling that he didn’t know how the person ended up bloodied on the floor.

Jim smirked, “Ok, I’d say yes to that.”

“If there is something that you like, but something you don’t that usually goes along with it…tell me. As for me, I don’t mind my wrists being tied just not over my head. Alright?”

Jim nodded, but tipped his head like he wanted to ask a question.

“Alright, so now I know that you would not mind tying me up and teasing me, and I know not to tie you up, cut you with a knife and make you beg.” Taylor looked serious then smiled thinking it was funny.

Jim leaned away with a startled expression as if he were afraid.

Taylor folded his muscular arms. “That was supposed to be funny.”

Jim breathed in deeply absorbing the words. Jim leaned back fully into the couch closing his eyes and belly laughed. “Oh my god, Nathan. You really scared me for a minute there. I thought you were serious about all this and that you like to be cut up with knives or that you wanted to cut me up or something crazy like that. I thought you were really into all that kind of stuff and were trying to see how far I would go.” 

“Say it again.” Taylor smiled when he heard Jim say his nickname. He wanted to hear it again and had ignored everything else he said. Taylor leaned forward and took a sip of the white wine.

Jim turned sideways pulling his leg up on the cushion and his back rested against the arm. “You honestly scared me. You are…very physically intimidating, and the thought of you tying me up then cutting on me is…well…so not a turn on. Wait.” Jim noticed the look on Taylor’s face. 

“For real, does that kind of thing turn you on?” Jim asked the question quickly and said it like it was almost an accusation. 

“Wash can take care of it. Forget I mentioned it. But that’s not what I want you to repeat, James.” Taylor was not going to ask if someone shanked Jim in prison, because it was obvious the answer was yes. 

Jim thought about the first part Taylor said. “Nathan.” 

Jim paused letting Taylor enjoy the way his voice said his nickname. “You like knives.” He made it a statement and turned his own words about knives back at him. 

“I like the threat of it. And vice versa. Heightens the senses. You don’t like it so let it go.” 

“You and Wash cut on each other?” Jim asked in alarm knowing now it was not some joke.

Taylor chuckled, “Don’t get all serious. We don’t just cut on each other. Well, if someone gets cut, it’s an accident from getting carried away or knocking over furniture. We spar with knives sometimes though and might cut each other’s clothing off while doing it. Think of it as a knife strip tease. Having someone you trust with your life running the back of a blade over your skin then fucking you at knife point like they are forcing you, is wickedly hot. Taboo. Naughty. Sometimes when I feel dark or she does things go too far, though.” 

Jim’s jaw dropped as he pictured Wash and Taylor sparing with knives, cutting off each other’s clothing as foreplay then a naked Wash climbing on him while holding a knife to him taking what she wanted from him and him liking it. 

“Do you ever do that to her?” Jim asked while thinking that he would never even pretend to force Elizabeth to do something she wanted to do. He knew it would freak her out, and he would feel bad like he did something to hurt her.

“No. I’m usually the one that likes to be threatened with a knife, and she is the one that likes to pretend to force me and win. It’s usually a game with her. And don’t worry, I wouldn’t ask any of that from you. Wash and I are…volatile to put it nicely. It’s normal for us.”

“Her pretending to attack you that way is normal for you.” Jim felt angry and did not fully understand why, but focused on getting answers.

Taylor set the bowel down and stood to his feet. He paced back and forth a few times in front of the wall screen. “For us yes. For you and I, no. It can be separate.” 

“What do you want from me?” Jim’s voice was cautious, and Taylor noticed that Jim had already set the wine glass down to keep his hands free. Jim was sitting on the edge of the couch instead of relaxing into it.

“What do I want from you?” Taylor wondered if Jim had asked his ex that same thing. Taylor believed that Jim’s ex was a true sadist and hurt people for the fun of it not for a mutual game and gratification session. 

Taylor stopped pacing and clasped his hands in front of him knowing now talking about rough sex with Jim was a bad idea. “Your time, thoughts, body, company…the usual. You do know I’m not him. Right?”

“I know that.” Jim spoke harshly and blinked a few times wondering if he did know that or not. A struggle showed on his face as he tried to clear his mind. 

His cop curiosity took over and dozens of questions ran threw his mind. “You said sometimes you get carried away or go too far. How does it work?”

Taylor watched Jim peering past him into the holo-trees. “If I don’t give in a little here and there then it builds and builds till…well…it gets bad. I end up with furniture.”

Jim smirked. “Furniture?”

“My desk. That couch.” Taylor lifted his hands that were clasped toward Jim then back down.

Jim remembered the Carno skull desk and moved his hand on the couch’s texture. “Killed it?”

“By myself. Bloody mess. It was terrorizing an outpost and needed to be put down anyway. Bastard almost killed me. Some of the reason why I hate Carnos. Wash found me butchering the body.”

“Butchering?” Jim asked quietly.

“They make a good steak. We have also started using their hides for boots, gun holsters, furniture, clothes and some ladies have started making decorations with their teeth. You can use the talons to make knives. The scientists say some gland secretes a substance they use for pain killers.” Taylor unfolded his hands, put them on his hips and stepped out from in front of the screen.

“Branson in Agriculture told me that the military units don’t just go out killing dinos, but wait till they find dead bodies then harvest what’s needed. He said they try to find a use for everything. Called it the Native American Approach. But, this one needed to be killed. I get it.” Jim spoke firmly.

“Yes, killed our last doc who was out there researching some plant. It’s some of the reason why we needed Elizabeth. And, why I started enforcing the rule that the main doc can’t go out in the field doing research.”

Jim thought that would make Elizabeth safer and appreciated it. 

“So, yes it needed to be killed, but I needed to kill it. I told Wash to have the guys bring the head back. I made my desk.” Taylor saw that Jim kept looking hopeful. “It’s a reminder. I can’t just ignore it.”

“What does it say?” Jim leaned forward waiting for the words. “I saw something like Latin on the skull.”

Taylor’s deep voice slowly spoke each word with reverence. “The butterfly glyph has bones for its wings.” 

Jim felt confused. “I um think I heard Zoe say once that butterflies don’t have bones.”

“Yes, that’s true.”

“I don’t get it. What does it mean?”

“What it says.” 

“Ok. A glyph is a symbol and someone used bones to make a symbol look like a butterfly?”

“Yes.” 

“And you put that on the skull?”

“Yes.” Taylor’s voice was quiet and deep.

“That doesn’t make any sense to me.”

“I know.” Taylor knew it would only make sense to a very select group of individuals and doubted if anyone else in Terra Nova knew what it meant even Wash. 

Jim could not believe he was about to ask the next question, but he did it anyway especially with the whole butterfly thing. “With all the pressures of being in Narcotics, we needed someone to talk to about what was going on with us. I had to kill a suspect in the line of duty. Self defense. They ordered therapy and a psych review. It helped. Have you tried therapy?”

“Oh yes. Hi Dr. Nose-In-My-Business if I go too long without rough sex, then I need to kill things. Yes, I sometimes like very rough sex with knives or bondage. It turns me on, but I’m fine the rest of the time. Can you fix me? No. He would most likely start asking questions about who I’ve slept with here or try that anger management bullshit. It would get all around the colony. Mira might ask me about it next time we have a chat. Maybe I could ask your wife for some medicine to help me with my violent urges. No thank you. My violent urges are what usually keep me alive. Besides. I don’t think it would help. I’m not sure I would want it to now that I know how to keep things less extreme.”

“You could try cutting back.” Jim squinted a moment thinking he should have used a different word. 

“Yes, and I could try talking a Carno to death. Don’t mean its gona work. If I told you that I thought you being attracted to women was wrong and you needed therapy to stop, would you go to therapy?”

“Of course not.” Jim answered before he thought about it. 

“Right. You haven’t been with her since you got out have you?”

Jim responded quickly. “You know I haven’t.”

“Going without. Did it make you stop wanting her? Did it make the need go away? Did it make you immune to her charms? 

He shook his head no.

“Makes you maybe want her more. Might make you grabbier when it does happen. Same thing. Do you understand it’s the same thing?”

“No it’s not. I just can’t get my mind around your liking things that extreme. There has to be some way to help you so that you would be more normal.” Taylor liking things violent sometimes made Jim think too much about his ex who destroyed his life, and he did not want to think of Taylor that way. He knew mentioning therapy to Taylor was something he had wanted to say to his ex. 

Jim pressed his lips together finally knowing that it was the dumbest thing he had ever said for very selfish reasons. “I didn’t mean that.”

“Yes you did.” Taylor raised his eyebrows and looked down a moment. “I know you just want me to not cut you up with knives or to ask you to do that to me. You don’t have to worry. I won’t. I might get a little aggressive like when we were OTG and I ran the Slasher off, but I won’t really harm you. Besides, I’ll just go see Wash when I get that way. Feed the demon and he leaves you alone for a while. Doesn’t mean I like what we do any less. It’s just different. Just like you don’t want your wife any less. With her it’s different. Different types of needs. Same thing.”

Jim’s mind kept racing. He was attracted to the danger that is Taylor, but he did not want to really be hurt by him. He also wanted the darkness that was plaguing Taylor to be banished. He had enough of his own darkness to know that it damages you even if you try to manage it. He could just not let it go. He wanted to find a way to help him.

Taylor saw that and knew he had to give him an answer that would make sense. He would have to tell him what happened to him if Jim was going to understand. “I want you to understand. I told you about being captured once when they messed with my mind. I…I didn’t tell you about the time before that when I was younger. Its part of why I am the way I am.”

“You don’t have to explain. I over reacted. I liked the way you were OTG when you grabbed my jaw and held me still. I’m just not all myself yet. Over time, I’m sure this won’t be an issue, but for now I guess it is. I want you to be ok.” Jim admitted reluctantly.

“I am ok.” Taylor paused taking a deep breath. “You just got out of…that place. You’re getting to know your family again. I want you to understand me as well.” Taylor contemplated waiting to talk to Jim about the issue, but decided it might go better to get it over with now like the other talk. 

Jim shrugged his shoulders. “It’s all a little much. Clean air, back with my family again, on the job again instead of being a criminal, dinosaurs, time travel, just getting out of that place where I couldn’t breathe, a new…” Jim was not sure what to call Taylor, “guy friend and one who might like things a little more out there then me, and said guy is the illustrious Commander Taylor. Yes, it’s a lot.”

“We should be taking this slower, but I want to explain.” Jim watched Taylor’s eyes harden as he continued. “The things they did to me while they force me to do things against my will like harming someone messed with my mind. I told you I was fucked up, but since you don’t have any shoes on to drop I guess I’m safe to tell you a story right?” 

Jim remembered their conversation about the other shoe dropping and wiggled his toes in his new pair of boots. “Right.”

Jim sat back all the way on the couch and watched Taylor.

Taylor’s eyes seemed to lose focus as he looked down. “I was in a tank of water with a button on the side. Once it filled up, I would stay submerged with no air till I pressed the button.”

Jim waited wondering what the catch was because pressing a button did not sound like something hard to do to get air. He would have loved to have a button to press when he was trapped in his cell. 

“I knew that when I pressed the button that a woman on the other side of the glass would be electrocuted. I would hold my breath as long as I could to try to give her time to recover from each shock. At first, when I pressed the button it did not shock her much and all the water would drain out. Over time they shocked her longer and only half of the water would drain.”

Jim could see where this was going. “Taylor?”

“It got to the point where the water would only come down enough for me to get a couple of breaths before it was full again. I looked into her eyes and held my breath. I beat on the hatch trying to get out. Her eyes were wide and filled with terror knowing I would have to press the button soon. I did. And they shocked her with a much stronger setting. That happened a few times till it killed her.”

Taylor became quiet and stared over Jim’s head into the kitchen. “ I killed her saving myself. I will never forgive myself for that. I promised once I got out that I would kill them all…that they would never hurt anyone ever again because they would be dead. I promised her dead body that. I promised her retribution. And I fulfilled that promise.”

Jim remembered to breathe. Now he knew why when they were together a couple of nights ago that Taylor said that his ex needed to be killed or he would torture someone else and have them killed. Now he knew why Taylor would not flinch if he believed someone needed to be put down like a dino on a killing rampage. “Taylor…Nathan, you don’t have to justify yourself to me.”

“I’m not. I’m just telling you why. Make of it what you will.” Taylor clasped his hands again. 

“Before I got free and killed every last one of those sick fucks, they dragged me to another room straight out of the tank. You see, once I knew she was dead I just held the button down. They tied me on by back onto a table and brought a woman in and shackled her ankle to a chain that was attached to the wall.”

Jim stood up stepping closer to Taylor knowing he did not want to know any more. He had heard in school and in the news what types of things had been done to combatants during the wars and he just did not want to know at this point. Knowing now just a little of what the other man had endured during his life, Jim felt that is psycho ex and prison experience did not even closely compare. “Nathan. I think maybe we should get something else to eat. I’m not use to real wine.”

Taylor locked eyes with him and Jim relented with a nod. “They told her that she had to take a knife and stab me when a light over the bed turned green or they would electrocute her. They used some type of a hand device and shot metal nodes into her body. The next woman was brought in completely naked. They hold her to…well…climb on me and get me off while the other stabbed me. They told her if she did not succeed then they would give her to the guards for a few days. I called the guys in white masks various names as you can imagine. Then they left us alone in the white room. I didn’t doubt the sick bastards were watching on monitors. The naked girl had long brown hair and she walked over as if afraid of me even though I was tied to the table with my hands over my head.”

Taylor stopped talking a few moments and inspected his hands. “She kind of looked like Wash and I think they did that on purpose. They would mess with your mind any way they could. She said she wouldn’t rape me, which scared the hell out of me because I had just watched the last girl die from electrocution because of me. I told her I was willing if she was. I didn’t think that was the reaction those bastards planned for, so I took a sick pleasure in disappointing them. I thought they wanted the girl to not stab me and me to reject the other girl and not get off so they could punish them.”

“I had no idea at the time that they wanted me to like it instead of cussing at her telling her to keep away from me. When she started, the light turned green and the blond one held out the knife, shaking. I told her to go ahead that I could take it. She made a little cut then they shocked her. Her whole body jerked, and she dropped the knife when it stopped. They shocked her again when the brunet went to get off of me. We stayed in place and the blond got up with the knife. She was bleeding from one of her ears. I yelled at her to stab me when the light flashed again. The knife went half way in and they didn’t shock her.”

Taylor pulled his sleeve up to uncover his arm and shoulder then shifted to show the back of his arm. 

Jim leaned forward and barley made out healed scars. If he wasn’t looking for it so closely he would not have seen it. He ran a finger tip over several light white lines on his arm he had never seen before. He knew from things his wife had done for him that Taylor had several procedures to remove the scar tissue. 

“It was a small blade but it cut through my wet skin like butter. Blood drained down my arms. She told the brunette to hurry and held her hands over the stab wounds knowing the sooner I got off the sooner it would all be over. It’s hard getting off with someone stabbing you. So, she did anything she could to try to keep my interest off of the blade that was stabbing down into my arms. They put a lot of effort into it and the brunette kept telling me to look at her. Her getting there is what finally helped me get there, and then the light stopped turning green.”

Jim almost said he was sorry it happened, but thought it might make Taylor think he felt sorry for him not sorry it happened. In the quiet, Jim had no idea what to say or do, so he did nothing.

“The girl with the knife, who I remembered later was Christina, was crying telling me how sorry she was, while she kept pressing down on the wounds trying to stop the bleeding. I told her not to feel sorry that I kind of liked it obviously. She glanced at my lap then laughed even while still crying. They were trying to break her too.”

“Even laying there bloodied I tried to make them feel ok about what was happening. Then the men came in dressed in all white with face masks, so I couldn’t know who they were. They took them out, healed me then dropped me into a cell that had a foot of standing water in it. The same thing was repeated twice a day every day for a week. Then they started turning the lights on and off at different times and feeding me the same type of food till I had no idea when one day ended and the next began. One day, they flashed the light green before the brunette even started on me and Christina stabbed me. I…felt my body react…favorably.” Taylor glanced down as if ashamed. 

Jim understood now, and he desperately wanted Taylor to stop. He was the one that suggested talking and therapy, but knew he would not know the right things to say. He had never heard the Commander talk so much and cursed himself internally for every time he wished the Commander would open up or talk more. He knew he would never encourage it again. Ever. If Taylor kept quiet, he told himself he would think of it as a good thing. When Taylor said to drop something, he would.

“The brunette stepped back with a smile and nodded to the other side of the room. She said again. The light flashed green. That was when I knew she was in on it. Christie started cussing at the brunette then got shocked. I told her to stab me. She did. The brunette said again and the light flashed.”

Taylor grinned. “Christina had balls. Instead of stabbing me, she gave me the knife. I used it to cut the rope on my wrists. They shocked her again…bad, but I broke free and got my feet free. I took the knife, held it to the brunette, and told them to stop shocking her or I would kill the brunette. They stopped.”

The sinister smile got wider. “Didn’t know it at the time, but she was high up in their ranks and had volunteered for this one when they asked for brunettes. Don’t know why. I had her by the neck and cut her once so they would know I was serious. I cut her thinking of the other woman crying at having to stab me then being electrocuted knowing it messed with her mind. I…I kind of liked cutting her neck. It barely bled. I liked taking control of her as much as I started liking being cut. It’s sick.”

Jim nodded his head yes. “One of the guys I told you about when I was undercover and they were smuggling drugs and children…I may have slammed his head into the pavement a couple of extra times when it was not really not needed to apprehend him. I’m not saying I fully know how it felt for you, but I get the idea.”

Taylor nodded back. “It. Changed me. After. I started to need those things. Darker things. Periodically, I need things more…intense.” Taylor paused thinking of the day Jim fell off of the fence and then was ok. Wash had come to him and he stalked after her into the Command Center and cut her clothing off of her. “Things that I hide from others and would deny to anyone but you and Wash. She helps me with that issue. You don’t need to be a part of it. Just like I don’t need to be a part of your happy giggly interactions with your wife. Do you understand?”

Jim felt a little leery of the situation now that he could see in Taylor’s eyes that the man did truly need those types of things now and then. There would be no Taylor getting over it. He had no idea how far Taylor would take things but, Taylor was saying he did not need those types of things from him.

Jim responded, “Violence turns me off. It usually puts me in cop mode. You’re experience caused the opposite reaction. Ok, I get it.”

Taylor noticed Jim said Ok so that meant he was dealing with it, but did not like it. Taylor reinforced inside himself that he would have to maintain control of himself if he had any of those urges around Jim. The problem was that when he was around Jim he felt a fire burning inside that said nothing was more important than stripping Jim and the both of them aggressively taking what they needed. He guessed it was alright, but he would have to make sure he did not push Jim’s boundaries.

Taylor watched several things dance around in Jim’s eyes. “What? Just say it even if it sounds bad. Trust me. I can take it.” 

Jim remembered that was just about what he told the woman with the knife that he could take it. He wondered how many times he allowed himself to be wounded physically or emotionally because it would help someone around him. He didn’t like that thought and knew that most people would not even know he was doing it. “Like I said before, I like the way you were when we were OTG. Aggressive without actually hurting me. Part of me doesn’t want you to go see her just because I can’t handle it.”

“I don’t want you to handle it. She likes it, so I don’t see the problem.”

Jim tried to push the jealousy aside and realized he understood the feelings behind something he had heard women say before. Sometimes you just want to feel special. He knew he couldn’t say it out loud so he settled for what might work. “I want you to come to me when you need something.”

Taylor replied with his deep gravel voice. “Trust me I will. Come. To you when I. Neeeeed. Something.” 

Jim smiled telling himself the joke that Taylor was back to being subtle again. His slate blue eyes glinted in the light. “So you go to your woman when you need dark and scary then I go to my women when I need light and bubbly is that it?”

“Sounds good to me.” Taylor watched the look of happy triumph on Jim’s face and hoped that the talk was over. It was the same expression Jim had when he cleaned the vines off of the wall and straddled the top smiling in the sunlight. Taylor smiled back at Jim now wondering if the happiness shining on Jim’s face would release some of the darkness within himself. 

“How did you get out?” Jim knew if he did not ask now they probably would not talk about it again. 

“I threatened to kill the bitch till we got to a com room and contacted my men. It was an underground lab facility. We were evening entertainment, you see. They took bets on who would live and who would succumb to their training. Like a reality game show. I kept them talking giving info till my guys were able to lock onto the com signal.” Taylor responded in dead pan. 

“Did you kill her?” Taylor watched Jim’s cop eyes rove over his face looking for the answer.

“You already know the answer.” Taylor felt hope because Jim said kill not murder. 

Jim put his hands on his hips and closed his eyes. He now had way more information then he wanted. He knew that Taylor wanted him and Wash. He also understood that several things had happened in Taylor’s past that would have easily killed lesser men or made them lose their minds. He believed that Taylor found a way to deal with it all. Knowing that he had his own issues with a crazy ex and what happened to him the last 2 years made him wonder if they had a chance to resemble something near normal. 

Jim let out a low growling moan wishing he could restart time and reenter the underground home. He vowed this time he would let it go when Taylor asks. “I’m so fucked up. Can we start this night over again?” 

Taylor knew Jim was really struggling with everything. “I tell you about my darker urges and your response is that you are the one that’s messed up?”

“When you told me to drop it, I should have.” Jim opened his eyes, which shone with raw pain.

Taylor tipped his head down with a slight smile, “Better not be dropping anything even if I tell you too.” 

Jim blinked unknowing for a few moments before he remembered their conversation about the other shoe dropping. A smile threatened to match Taylor’s as his mood lightened. 

Taylor’s blood had started pumping faster since Jim’s throaty grown a minute ago. Jim was a tall muscular man, and Taylor longed to experience Jim’s aggressive side. He wanted to hear him growl again, but would settle for a good groan at this point. 

Taylor pictured them wrapped around one another…licking…grinding…heat pulsing on their skin as they roughly explored each other. He flexed his hands picturing his hands gripping Jim and running his teeth over his sweaty flesh. He could almost hear Jim’s gasps for air before Jim sank his teeth into Taylor’s shoulder out of hunger for more. He wanted that physical feeling of another who matches you in strength choosing you and holding onto you then claiming you with every part of their body and vice versa. 

Taylor thought. He’s mine and standing right there. We’re alone. Nothing is stopping us from exploring each other. Too much damn talking.

Taylor pictured raking his teeth across Jim’s neck and biting down like a chew toy then sucking while feeling his frantic pulse under his tongue. 

He realized that his darker urges were still there and now his heart was pounding even faster with anticipation. Taylor tried to slow his breathing while he walked around the room. He put their empty glasses in the kitchen while trying to distract himself. 

He now told himself he would save that for Wash, who liked to give as much as she could take. She even scared him sometimes with her ferocity. It was why they worked so well together. That and they were each other’s closest trusted ally. It had been the only way he had finally told her about his needs, because he trusted her so fully. They depended on each other for more than just their lives. They depended on each other for their sanity. 

Taylor’s face softened as his eyes sought out and lingered on the two lines that marked Jim’s lower lip. “We should slow things down and call it a night.” 

Jim smiled, but did not know what to do next after Taylor had so completely divulged secrets to him about his torture and now acting like nothing had happened earlier.

Jim decided to just go with it, “Alright, Nathan. But first, I want to tell you something. You want to know what I like. I like your strong arms. I like them wrapped around me. I like your fingers running lightly over my skin. It caused uncontrollable shivers the other day. I’ve never felt that exact sensation before. It continued as long as you were touching me on my back and ribs. Sometimes it felt like too much then you would stop a moment.” 

Taylor absorbed Jim’s words and expressions as his own knowing smile smirked to one side. 

Jim stepped closer. “I like the feel of you in my mouth, the sounds you make when I touch you, the way you growl deep in your chest when you need me, your warm breath on my neck, and the way you grab my ass. I like the way you take care of me, the way we lay together in bed like nothing else is more important, and how you listen to me. I dream about the way you’re watching me now like you want to attack me, but you’re holding back some as not to really hurt me.”

Taylor’s eyes were half open picturing everything, “Mmmmm. I remember something almost exactly like that. And, I think we should focus on you more.” 

“Well, I liked when we were OTG in those large leaves when you grabbed onto me and gripped my jaw. Something about that was…exciting and almost scary.”

A broad smile broke out on Taylor’s, “You don’t want to be hurt, but you like that I kind of scare you?”

“No. You don’t scare me. I said almost.” Jim wondered if he had just lied to Taylor.

“No?”

Jim turned his focus within then let out a deep breath in defeat. “Yes. I guess you’re right. I like that you could, but don’t. I like your pent up strength, your growling, your grabbing, and your desire…want for me taking you over. Feeling you’re a hungry predator, but that I’m safe.”

“You like to see that part of me, but don’t want to experience it.” Taylor stated it as a fact wondering if they were going back to the older topic again.

“Yes. Maybe you could let it out a little, but not.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea James. I might push it a little too far for you and hurt you. Remember, I’m supposed to be careful and we are supposed to be calling it a night.”

“Can you try?” Jim asked hopeful. Jim did truly like Taylor’s animalistic side, but did not want to be actually harmed by it. 

“Well, we should probably wait a day or so and set up some boundaries for me walking the line with you.” Taylor braced his hands on the counter behind him and leaned back against it. He knew now that being with Jim was going to be a sweet torture that would push his limits of control over himself when he had gone too long without letting out his beast. 

For now, Taylor had no idea what would be too much or not enough for Jim. Taylor had more of an on and off switch, but was not sure how to walk in between. It was just like with is emotions. If he felt anger, it was with extreme prejudice. If he felt love, it was to the death. He had no middle ground in anything in his life. He could be sweet or savage, not both at the same time. 

Jim stepped forward again then ran his hand over Taylor’s hard length that was straining against his pants. “Forget about what I said earlier. You don’t have to be too careful with me. Just don’t hack off one of my arms and I’ll be ok.”

“I don’t want you to just be ok. I want to be careful with you. The way I feel right now, there is no way I could be anything remotely resembling careful. You’ve had enough shit to deal with and don’t need this. So until we set up some boundaries, when I’m like this, I go to Wash and take care of it. We should stop for now.”

Taylor took several deep breaths and removed Jim’s hand from his pants. It was one of the most difficult things he had done since entering Terra Nova. It took every ounce of his strength and will to force his own hand to remove Jim’s. He told himself he was stopping Jim because Jim might just be trying to please him by saying it was ok to not be careful. 

Jim almost pouted. “Now, who’s over reacting? You’re acting like I’m easily breakable. On the job, I’ve been hurt a lot. I can take pain. It just doesn’t turn me on like that.”

“I watched you fall off of the exterior wall when you were almost to the top. You stood up chatted with some people and went right back to work. I know you’re not a delicate flower. On some level you like the danger. You want me to attack you. You would like the illusion of it not the reality of it, and I can’t do that right now. I just want to be calmer, so I can try to walk the middle ground. Ok James?”

Jim nodded. “Ok.”

Taylor mentally bashed himself knowing he should have visited Wash last night, so he would not be so on edge. As it was, his hands were almost trembling with desire to grab, to claim, to control. His muscles kept flexing on their own as if he was going to reach for him. 

“How about tomorrow we meet again and take things slow and exchange safe words. If I send you home all bruised, Elizabeth with have that talk with me again about being careful with you. You’ll have to help me walk the line at first till I know where it is with you kind of like when you pressed with your teeth to let me know it was too much. We need to talk about his more later. The way I feel now, that would most likely push me over the edge. We need a larger list of does and don’t. I need to know the boundaries, because I can’t stand that look on your face when I actually scare you. You looked at me like I was going to gut you before you started laughing.” 

“Safe word hu?” Jim prompted.

Taylor shifted his stance contemplating that Jim only seemed to focus on that one thing. “Yes, mine’s pink.” 

“Why pink?” Jim barely got the words out as he was trying not to laugh.

“Think about it. When have you ever heard me say that word? And if you heard me say it wouldn’t you pause whatever you were doing?”

“Good point. See, we don’t need lists.” Jim protested because he started feeling stupid again. He felt like a green vanilla teenager. He could not even count the number of times men and women had followed Taylor with their eyes wondering how the dominate male performed in bed and how aggressive he would be. Women practically fainted when he growled or single handedly killed a dino. Jim questioned himself as to why should he be surprised that the Commander is forceful and dangerous in bed at times. It was part of Taylor’s sensual magnetism. 

Jim lowered his head wondering why things have to be so complicated. He pondered why he had to ruin what would have been a hot night by acting like Taylor was a freak and suggesting therapy.

“Maybe, I’m the one that needs the lists. People I was with before…I forced myself to be the tamest version of myself all the time. It drove me mad having to hide myself that way knowing if they found out they would think I was crazy. Then there was Wash. She has no boundaries. Hell, she pushes mine. And, I didn’t even think I had any to be pushed. I’ve been with her enough that once I take care of my darker needs then I am relatively normal for a week or two before it starts again. If I go to her as soon as it starts, it’s not that bad. I’ve just waited too long. It’s no big deal.”

Jim was starting to feel jealousy toward Wash again, but told himself it was stupid because he himself has a woman. 

Jim thought to himself. Taylor can go all caveman with Wash, but needs to restrain himself to sleep with me. Well great. 

Jim gazed down at the floor even more knowing that if he had not been so messed up by his ex and prison that this would not even be an issue. His wife ignored anything changed and now in his new relationship with Taylor, the other man had to tiptoe around him. 

Jim told himself he could deal with it. He could try to deal with it anyway. He would cause Taylor to lose control and besides he reminded himself that Wash liked it and obviously lives through it without any broken bones, so it can’t be that bad. He would just have to remind himself if things get rough that Taylor would not kill him. They would use safe words.

“Ok, let’s go and we will meet back here tomorrow around…”

Taylor lost his concentration and his voice as he gasped in air when Jim kneeled down and ran his mouth and teeth over the fabric of his pants where his hard shaft was trapped. Every fiber of Taylor’s body yelled at him to grab Jim and do with him exactly as he pleased, but his mind warred back with his body to hold still. He didn’t want to really scare Jim to death again.

Taylor’s eyes and voice were a wild tempest of frustration and hunger. “We should wait.”

Jim stood up, undid Taylor’s pants, and slid his hand inside gripping his heated hardness tightly, “Nathan. Please. It’s later. I’m yours.”

Taylor remembered Jim’s promise the last time they were in bed together that when Jim told him it was ‘later’ that he could have full reign over Jim’s body and do with him as he pleased. Taylor’s self control waned under the onslaught of Jim’s hand that securely gripped him and the heated tones in his voice.

It completely broke when Jim panted, “I want you.”

Taylor’s energy exploded into action as he bodily spun Jim around and slammed him into a wall knocking the air from Jim’s lungs. Jim’s brain had not even registered what had happened till he felt the grip of Taylor’s hand around his neck moving his head to the side.

Jim moaned out. “Yes.” He was completely lost in the onslaught of Taylor’s body pressing firmly against him. He struggled just enough to feel Taylor hold him in place. Jim admitted to himself that it felt even better than when they were OTG. The sensations of pain he felt somehow translated as Taylor’s raw desire for him. 

Taylor had his entire body grinding against Jim when he stopped himself from biting down fully on Jim’s neck. Taylor pulled his teeth back afraid he tasted blood and growled in his ear, “What are you doing? What part of we should wait did you misunderstand?” 

He managed to still his body as he released is grip from Jim’s neck. The desire to consume Jim was just vibrating under the surface as Taylor put a hand to the wall and pushed himself away because he could not make himself step back otherwise. It was torture to let go. Torment to step away.

Once there was some distance, Jim turned around holding his neck still gasping for air. “All of it. Sorry.” 

The muscles in Taylor’s body flexed as if he was going to move back to Jim, so Taylor forced himself to take another step back, “Don’t apologize. You’re the one with the teeth marks on your neck. Damnation!”

Jim’s hand slid down his own neck feeling the moisture as he watched Taylor lick a smear of blood off of his own bottom lip. Adrenalin and endorphins raced in Jim’s body, and he felt a sudden urge to go back to Taylor and tell him to continue. He admitted to himself that his body reacted favorably to Taylor’s rough handling. He wondered why it felt unexpected and remembered Taylor’s treatment of him when they were OTG. Now, he wished he could erase the conversation they just had. To offer surrender. To beg.

“Don’t you dare!” Taylor saw the expression and spoke before Jim had time to act. After slowly backing up again, Taylor pointed behind Jim. 

Jim followed the direction and picked up the med kit, started healing his neck and finished up on his bruised rib. 

“Elizabeth is going to be upset with me now.” Taylor ran a hand over his facial hair trying to calm himself down, but he had Jim’s sent on his body now. It was as if he was surrounded by warm hot temptation.

“I’m not going to tell her.” Jim put away the med kit still aching from the lack of Taylor’s muscles pinning him to the wall.

Taylor surveyed him and did not see any signs of what happened. “She’ll know anyway.”

Taylor’s blank military face snapped into place when he picked up his com, “Wash?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“ETA to ComCen?”

“Already there, Sir.” 

Jim and Taylor looked up at the ceiling. 

Jim spoke, “Sound proof right?” 

Taylor nodded yes before responding over his com, “Copy that.”

Both men climbed out to find Wash standing on the rail above them watching with a knowing eyebrow raised. 

Taylor kept his distance, “Tell Elizabeth I said I will try to be more careful. See you tomorrow…if she lets you out to play.”

Jim nodded feeling disappointed and knew Wash’s eyes were on him, “Tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I typed the words that Taylor ends up with furniture I almost died laughing. Ohhhh getting furniture sounds so scary. LOL! Yes, as in hunt you down, rip off your head, and use it as furniture. I wanted to explain in this chapter the beginning of the story where Taylor cuts Wash’s clothing off of her and does a Taylor Tackle. I also wanted Jim to not really like it and for Elizabeth to definitely not like it. I wanted someone to be more extreme than Taylor and no one but the strong and resilient Wash fit the bill. I then wanted Jim to come around and get into the grit of why Jim and Taylor are so tormented. These kind of characters have to have darker secrets. 
> 
> I like to feel the angst and the torment of it all then having the other person accept you for who you are not what they want you to be. I like the healing after the storm. Ok, next chapter can go back into the light. And, I had to use Fringe for the Carno skull text. It has a meaning.


	9. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim can’t help but follow Taylor and Wash, and Elisabeth is also unable to resist following Jim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to get them all together for a little show and tell.

He watched Taylor ascend he ramp wishing now that he had not pushed Taylor when he said they needed to stop. 

When Wash and Taylor disappeared inside closing the door, he changed his mind desperately wishing he had pushed Taylor even more and that Taylor did not stop himself. He wanted both. 

He felt himself start to go mad wondering and guessing what the both of them were doing. His curiosity got the better of him as he stood there staring at the building. He slowly walked up the ramp and peered inside a window to see that they were not inside and must have left out the other door. 

Jim moved around to the other side in time to see Wash and Taylor walk into Wash’s housing unit that was set back from the others farther into the tree line. He walked down the ramp and paused at the bottom stopping himself. 

Jim turned to go home then spun around then went to go home again, but stopped. “Shit. How do I fix this?”

Jim did not know it, but Elizabeth had heard the com call for Wash and had left their housing unit to see what was going on. She half expected to find all three of them together, but instead saw Wash and Taylor leave Jim standing alone. 

She watched as Jim turned around several times then followed. She wondered if he just made a mental decision to join them in bed. She followed and waited in the darkness for what felt like an hour spying on him. 

Jim would start to walk up to Wash’s door then turn around to stand in the dark by himself then repeat the action. 

Elizabeth was contemplating just going over to him because it was starting to rain when Jim jimmied the lock and entered. 

She gasped with surprise at what he did. “So you weren’t invited.” She whispered to herself as she crossed to the housing unit. 

The door was slightly cracked open, and she leaned forward to look inside. She was thankful that the overhang at the door protected her from the light sprinkles of cold rain that fell.

 

Jim was standing at Taylor’s bedroom door screen with his hand on the latch telling himself in his thoughts that it would be a very bad idea to open it an inch to look inside. From the noises in the other room it was obvious they were naked and rolling around. Curiosity struck him again and his hand flexed, but he did not open it.

He heard Taylor’s growl of release and Wash give an evil chuckle in response before the room went mostly quiet. 

A vibration of uneasiness and arousal turned to total panic jumping up and down Jim’s spine as he jerked his hand back hoping he could escape before he was noticed. 

A click sound came from the front door, and Jim looked over his shoulder to see Elizabeth standing in the main entry doorway watching him as if concerned. 

No sooner had he realized who she was when he smacked the wooden floor with a body not unfamiliar plastered to him. 

A voice growled loudly. “Who are you?”

“It’s me! Jim Shannon.” 

Taylor had his hand gun pressed to a man’s head holding him down when a light came on in the bedroom. “Jim?”

Taylor pulled his naked body to the side of Jim and pointed the gun up at the ceiling. His eyes darted to the front door and were barely able to make out Dr. Elizabeth Shannon. 

Her eyes were so wide it must have been painful. Deer in the headlights was putting it mildly. He put his gun on the floor off to the side. Jim hadn’t moved yet.

Taylor glanced over his shoulder to see a completely naked Wash pointing a gun at Elizabeth. He knew from her vantage point that she might not know who it was. “Stand down Wash.”

Wash pointed the gun up then glowered down at Jim while she was back lit with a small lamp. “What the fuck Shannon?”

“I’m sorry.” Elizabeth’s voice broke as she believed the harsh words were directed at her. “I didn’t know what was happening. I just followed him. I…I thought that all of you were…uhh.” She waved her hand in a circle. “I’m sorry.” Elizabeth stepped back pulling the door shut completely flustered and disappointed with herself for opening the front door to spy on them. 

Elizabeth walked very quickly from the housing unit fighting the urge to break out in a dead run. She had to get away. She thought of Jim jerking his arm back and how she thought that he was hurt somehow, so she pushed the door open. “Stupid.” 

The image of Wash naked and backlit flashed in her mind flowing with the adrenalin she was feeling. “Blithering idiot!” 

There were a few people walking just ahead of her, and she changed directions to avoid them without thinking and went farther into the trees. Frustration, embarrassment, and disgust with herself pressed on her mind with the adrenalin causing tears to fall down her face as she blindly walked quickly between the trees. 

 

Jim relaxed his body on the floor as if giving up. “Shit.”

“I got this Shannon.” Wash was already in a pair of tan pants and pulled on a tight black t-shirt. 

Jim didn’t glance over into the room because he was afraid Wash did not have her clothes on yet. “You sure?”

Jim clenched his teeth thinking. Not only did she take care of Taylor, now she’s taking care of Liz. Guess I AM just a fuck up.

Stomping in her boots, Wash stepped over Jim’s body while pulling her hair back tying it in place. “Taylor. Try not to kill him while I’m gone.” 

Wash grabbed Taylor’s pants off of her couch and tossed them back at him almost smacking him in the face. 

Taylor grunted. “Sure. Meet us in ComCen up top. We need to talk.”

Wash nodded yes and kept walking. 

Taylor stood up putting the brown cloth pants on quickly and turned the light on in the living room. 

Jim was still lying in the floor, but had his face pressed into his hands with embarrassment. 

Taylor could not think of anything else to say so he decided what the hell. “Waiting for another back rub?” 

Jim thought about what Taylor asked him when he gave him a back rub before and murmured. “I’m waiting for you to ask me if I have any spinal injuries.”

It was obvious to Taylor that Jim was beating himself up for what he did, so he walked over and extended a hand. “Come on, James get off the floor.”

At the use of his real first name, Jim looked up then took Taylor’s hand allowing the other man to help him to his feet. “I don’t think Liz will go there.”

“Wash…usually gets her way.” Taylor let go of Jim’s hand and crossed his arms wanting to avoid talking about what had just happened.

“She’s never dealt with Liz before.” Jim pulled his clothing into place. “I’m sorry too. I don’t know what I was doing. I went to leave when Liz opened the door.” 

Taylor ignored the part about Jim showing up knowing he might get mad again if he talked about it. He kept reminding himself it was obvious that Jim was already telling himself anything that Taylor would have said about how inappropriate it was for Jim to have followed and entered Wash’s housing unit. Taylor could not bring himself to use the word inappropriate without feeling like a hypocrite. 

Taylor settled with continuing to focus on talking about the women as he sat down on Wash’s couch and motioned for Jim to sit. “Is Elizabeth that stubborn and demanding?”

Jim ignored Taylor’s hand motion and started pacing. “No.”

Taylor waited knowing if he was silent that Jim would start talking again.

Jim paced a few times more then settled leaning against the far wall. “She…is very strong and resilient, but at the same time delicate and I don’t want to say naive. She…well…I’ll put it this way. She could walk into a medical center that is dealing with multiple car crash victims close to death and organize them while taking control and make sure everyone is saved. She is not scared of blood or seeing someone chopped up. She doesn’t back down when she knows she is right about something and breaks the rules when she believes the rules are not fair or right like breaking me out of prison. She can also feel empathy for people and put herself in their shoes and that might be why she is so good with kids and victims…patients.”

“But delicate in that if I raise my voice to her or start to verbally fight with her, she becomes shocked as if her world will crash down if I don’t stop. Like a year after Maddy was born we got into a fight and I yelled out my anger at her. I had just finished his difficult case and was not in control of myself yet. She backed up holding her face and her chest as if I had punched her. Now, if I start to lose it again or get loud, she says my name and just looks at me all hurt, and I instantly stop because I know what it will do to her if I don’t. I guess it is her emotions for a person she cares for is what is delicate. She grew up in a sheltered house in a dome. In med school she saw what other people went through and could not stand it.” 

Taylor had guessed Maddy got her rambling from Jim, and now he mused it was confirmed.

Jim could not stop himself but continue. “It almost destroyed her when she finally understood what her supervisors were trying to get her to see. She can’t save everyone. So, long story short. You do or let her do what she needs because her control over you is your desire to make sure she is ok. I don’t know if that makes sense, but there is a power she has in being…easily hurt emotionally. Maddy is just like her in that regard, but Zoe and Josh are a little more like me in that getting upset with them makes them more defiant.”

“I understand.” He thought about how he would change how he was to an extent or do things to make sure that Jim alright. If anyone else beside him broke into Wash’s housing unit to spy on him he knew he might have killed them or at least put them in Medical. Yes, he understood that a man loving someone gave them power. He stopped himself from that train of thought. 

Taylor decided to keep talking about the safer topic, “That’s why she is such a great doctor. She honestly cares.” He thought to himself that was also the same reason why Jim was such a great cop and knew that he would have to tone down any murderous actions or language when he was around. They already talked before about Taylor’s dark side, so Jim knew it was there. That didn’t mean Taylor had to throw it in his face understanding that he was still a cop and had a strong sense of duty.

“If Wash yells at her or get’s rough, Elizabeth’s not going to react well. Years ago, I suggested a few things, and she looked at me like I was a pervert and left the room. Can you pass that on to Wash?”

Taylor nodded his head yes meaning he understood what Jim was getting at, but not confirming he would talk to her. “She’s not rough with women. When she’s with a girlie girl, she likes them to dress up in slinky lingerie, and she makes them giggle. Treats them like dessert.”

Jim’s mind offered him a picture of Elizabeth dressed up like a cupcake for Halloween. 

Taylor thought…He’s been gone for a couple of years, so her preferences might have changed.

Jim watched the thought cross Taylor’s face and thought…Maybe I don’t know her as well anymore. “Don’t say anything. I’m sure Wash can figure it out on her own.”

Taylor stood to his feet then looked outside to see if he could spot the women. He knew he could bring up Wash’s security screens and find them, but he actually did not want to go meet them. He had a wild ride with Wash, and was feeling calmer, but still aggravated with Jim. “I’m getting a quick shower.”

“I’ll be standing right here.” Jim wanted to leave, but could not make himself. He didn’t want Taylor chasing after him or what could be worse leaving and Taylor not chasing after him. “I’m sorry. Won’t happen again.”

Taylor nodded and left the room. “Nuff said for now. We’ll talk later.”

Jim stood there remembering the other showers they had together. He listened to the water start and pictured what Taylor was doing. His mind played over the memory of Skittles running over his skin as he licked them off in his drugged state. 

Jim thought that he was being left in another room while Taylor showered as punishment for spying. He felt the loss and pain most acutely. 

Taylor stomped just around the corner and tipped his head to the side still appearing to be aggravated. 

Jim’s jaw actually dropped as Taylor stood there as if he was completely unaware that he was naked. “Uuuuhhhhhh.” 

“Are you coming?” Taylor put his hands on his hips as his eyes dragged over Jim’s taller frame. He meant it as a sexual reference joke. 

Jim closed his mouth and had to fight to think before he answered. “Yes.”

Taylor’s electric blue eyes darted down to the front of Jim’s pants then back up. He had hoped Jim would have come back with something like…not yet, come and stroke it and we’ll see. 

Taylor raised his eyebrows and glanced over him again as Jim stayed where he was standing. “Doesn’t look like it.”

Jim’s mind was misfiring as it always did around Taylor. Jim had so much internal dialogue going on that he had no idea what was being actually said anymore. His eyes kept darting over Taylor’s arms that were flexed then to where his hands were resting. His eyes went back up then down again following the lines of his muscular body. “What?”

Taylor took a deep breath and let it out feeling his irritation drain away as he watched Jim’s confusion. He wouldn’t admit it, but he thought when Jim watched him all hopeful he looked adorable. 

“Jim. Take your clothes off and get in the shower with me.” Taylor turned and went back to the bathroom trusting that Jim was following him. 

He heard Jim stumble a few times as he followed. Taylor smirked knowing that Jim was watching him walk and was getting distracted. He thought to himself there is more than one kind of power.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I decided to save the glow in the dark pain for the next chapter that will most likely be the last. Jim and Taylor apparently like showers together.


	10. Reassurance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the angst mostly out of the way, Taylor and Jim can get back to exploring each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, that means smut. It is a whole chapter of almost nothing but smut and fluff. heheheee

Jim slowed at the bathroom door and inched into the room reluctantly. 

Jim knew that when Taylor went into the bathroom by himself just a few minutes ago that he had fixed up several red marks that had been on his shoulders and arms. He guessed they were from Wash. 

Upon entering, Jim’s eyes instantly snapped to Taylor’s flexing arm that was reaching to pull back the shower certain. Jim ate in the pattern of muscle that played under his skin as if he were starving. He then noticed that all traces of the wounds were gone, and held himself back from Taylor. 

Jim only removed his boots then just stood there watching. 

A strange feeling came over him that pushed away the arousal, and he didn’t understand it. It kind of felt that if he got closer to Taylor in the room that he would hurt him, but it had nothing to do with physical pain. Jim wondered if it was fear of Taylor’s reactions to what happened earlier when he entered Wash’s housing unit. 

Taylor paused keeping his hand up on the clear shower certain and glanced over his shoulder at Jim. He expected him to be undressing, but had not heard any sounds of it other than the clunking of boots. 

The tortured expression of desire and despair that flitted on Jim’s handsome face melted away the last of Taylor’s irritation.

Taylor arched an eyebrow as if to ask what was wrong. Taylor was not exactly use to dealing with other people’s emotional states. 

Jim shook his head no as his eyes left Taylor and glanced around the room. There was a hint of tears that quickly vanished while Jim blinked looking at the ceiling. 

Taylor moved to him slowly as if thinking of each movement. 

The younger man could then not help but watch Taylor advance on him, but did not make eye contact. The steam seemed to follow Taylor like the fog usually did. Jim viewed him as a force of nature moving toward him.

Jim flinched as Taylor’s hands moved over his neck then up to the sides of his face. It wasn’t the aggressive grab holding his neck and jaw that Taylor usually did when he was turned on and it surprised Jim. Instead, Taylor’s hands were firm but not demanding. 

His hands guided Jim’s full lips down to his where Taylor traced the two lines on Jim’s lower lip. Jim kept his eyes closed because he could not bring himself to look at the intensity in his eyes.

Taylor paused and watched him with new understanding. Taylor’s baritone voice floated on the steam. “We’re ok.” 

Jim let out a shaky breath and allowed his slate blue eyes to meet Taylor’s. He saw acceptance, reassurance and he dared to think maybe love.

Jim finally let himself go, wrapped his arms around Taylor and held on to his strength. He didn’t even know that this whole time he had been holding part of himself back from Taylor. 

The barrier crumbled as Taylor reached his strong arms around him and held him tightly. The tears came back to Jim’s eyes, but this time out of relief and letting go of the pain and fear. They remained holding on to each other for a few minutes as the warmth from the shower seemed to encase them in safety. 

Once Jim felt the strange feelings of dread evaporate from his psyche, he traced his lips up the warmth of Taylor’s neck and pressed a light kiss. He left a light trail to Taylor’s lips and pressed down before leaning his head back. 

Jim now felt as if he were being overly complicated and a jealous idiot, and knew he needed Taylor to confirm things were alright again. 

Jim mimicked Taylor’s words, but made it a question. “We’re ok?”

Taylor nodded yes then deepened the kiss while trying to taking his time giving Jim the further reassurance that he needed. 

But Taylor could not help himself as the movements were needy and turned to demanding. Jim responded in turn suddenly needing more from Taylor as if he would die if he couldn’t touch more of him. 

Taylor’s deep voice rumbled with arousal. “Clothes. Shower.” 

Jim’s hand left Taylor and started fumbling with the top button of his shirt. 

Taylor felt instant anger at the shirt because it was taking Jim’s hands away from him. He thought it would take forever at this rate and spoke. “Too long.”

Taylor gripped the bottom of Jim’s shirts and jerked them out of his pants. Taylor had no idea why one man had to have so many damn shirts on anyway.

Jim eagerly watched Taylor’s movements and reveled in the way he could affect him.

Taylor pulled the two shirts off of Jim and threw them toward the door. His hands instantly gripped Jim’s waist and pulled him close again. Jim’s hands pulled at Taylor’s biceps as their mouths met in a fevered clash of desire. They searched and explored as their hearts sped up in anticipation.

Taylor started lightly biting on his jaw then trailed down to his throat feeling the need to claim him for his own. He would destroy anything that came between them. 

Jim’s hand went between them and gripped Taylor’s hardness. “Not yet. But, it’s getting there.”

Jim was rewarded by a deep rumble of amusement from Taylor while Taylor undid his pants and pulled the remainder of his clothing off. Taylor tossed the clothing toward the door and took a moment to drink in the sight of Jim’s muscled body.

Jim watched Taylor’s possessive and predator glare that inched over his skin. Jim’s lips parted and his breath came out in pants while his mind ran over all the things he wanted Taylor to do to him. He could practically feel Taylor’s hand tracing over his body.

It was as if a string snapped that was holding Taylor back, and he reached forward for Jim. One of Taylor’s well defined arms wrapped around Jim’s waist as the other locked behind his neck pulling him close. Taylor fed from Jim’s mouth never quite getting enough as he felt Jim tremble from the adrenalin that coursed through his system. 

Jim moaned out from the sheer pleasure of being consumed, but also wanted more. 

Taylor ended the kiss and lingered as Jim sucked on his tongue for a moment. Taylor was hard and more than ready for Jim when he spoke. “I want you.”

Jim struggled for air as he felt Taylor’s harness rubbing against his hip. Taylor’s strong hands clamped down on Jim’s ass and pulled him tightly against him as he continued. “Let me have you.”

The sensations and the deeply spoken words pulled Jim off of the cliff and over the edge. He never remembered feeling so turned on before. It was almost maddening. Jim ran his teeth over Taylor’s shoulder then bit down with another moan as Taylor rocked his hips. Jim practically ripped his teeth from side to side as he sucked the flexed muscle into his mouth with a flick of his tongue. He needed more, and he needed it now.

Taylor growled out between his teeth as the pain and intoxication of it possessed him. It was as if Jim’s hunger shot through Taylor’s body like electricity that stemmed from Jim’s teeth. Every muscle in Taylor’s body seemed to flexed in need for Jim’s answer. 

Taylor managed to force strangled words out when Jim’s teeth left his body. “For fuck’s sake is that a yes.”

Jim’s response was to force a kiss before Taylor even finished his last word and plunged his tongue into Taylor’s mouth as if he never heard him speak. He was frantically rubbing and grabbing at Taylor desperate for more as he believed he had already answered him by his actions. 

A deep low growl started in Taylor’s chest that got louder till he jerked Jim’s hands off of him and spun him around into the wall. He pinned Jim to the wall and held his wrists to the wall as well. Taylor’s frustration was riding high when he spoke again. “You’re killing me James.”

Because the front of Jim’s body was pressed to the wall, Taylor had to lean closer to watch Jim’s face as he knew he would not proceed till Jim answered him. Jim leaned his head back and toward Taylor.

Taylor watched Jim’s dilated eyes with fascination even as his body ground against him unable to stop. 

Jim’s voice was breathy when he finally spoke with their lips inches apart. “I trust you, Nathan.” Taylor grinded harder causing Jim to let out a groan before he continued. “You won’t hurt mmmm me.”

Jim kissed Taylor on the lips. Taylor pulled his mouth back and spoke with a hint of humor. “I will if you don’t answer.”

Jim pulled on his wrists not really wanting to get away and Taylor forced him to stay in place knowing that was what Jim wanted. Jim whispered. “No you won’t.” 

Taylor let go of Jim’s wrists and slid his hands down over his arms to his shoulders. One hand went around his neck holding him in place, but not hurting him. The other went down over the contours of Jim’s back to his ass then around to his hip. 

Taylor leaned his hips back to allow his hand to slip between Jim and the wall. He gripped Jim at the base of his shaft and squeezed a few times enjoying the heat and hearing the gasps. His hand then gripped tightly then just moved up and down an inch without rubbing. 

When his hand pressed all the way to the hilt, Taylor pressed his own hardness against Jim’s ass when he spoke. “Are you teasing me James?”

Jim’s hands flattened out on the wall as he savored the wicked sensations that danced over his body. He couldn’t even count how many times he wished for his moment with Taylor, and thoughts of his ex never entered his mind. Jim’s head was back, and his eyes were closed when his breathy answer came out. “Nooo. I’mmm thinking.” 

Taylor started moving his hand a little faster. His other hand let go of Jim’s neck and slid down the side of his back to his hip. The movement caused Jim to shiver and for his fingertips to press down on the wall like claws then flatten out again. Jim moaned a few times in quick procession. 

Taylor drank in the sound as a slight grin twitched on the side of Taylor’s mouth when he confirmed that Jim was every bit as tormented because of the wait as he was. Taylor’s hand then trailed down over part of Jim’s thy then back up with a light scratch. 

Jim reacted by hissing air between this teeth and mindlessly moving his hips with Taylor. 

Taylor instantly let go and put his hands back on Jim’s wrists when the man tried to turn around. He pressed him against the wall again and refused to move or grind against Jim. 

A gasp of frustration and pleasurable torment left Jim’s mouth. “Yes.”

Jim pulled at his wrists, but was still held in place. He desperately wanted to go back to what they were doing or for Taylor to do what he asked for, but now Taylor was not permitting it. “I said yes. You know the answer has always been yes.”

Taylor lightly chuckled at Jim’s escalated frustration. “You mean yes you’re teasing me?”

Jim smiled a fraction then stopped. “Yes to both questions.”

Taylor pressed a little harder then stepped back completely letting go. 

Jim turned around in shock because Taylor moved away. The astonishment faded when he watched Taylor turn off the shower then take a bottle of oil out of a cabinet. 

Jim’s eyes caught a glimpse of his own neck in a mirror over the sink and turned to see faint red lines where Taylor grabbed him. A faint trace of a smile lingered a moment as he thought about how it felt to have Taylor pressed against him holding him. He then closed his eyes and waited for Taylor to touch him again. 

Jim opened his eyes when he felt a concentration of heat behind him. He peered at the mirror into Taylor’s electric blue eyes that were reflected. The predator was back watching him with dark dominating glares, and Jim was thankful to be caught in his snare. 

Taylor stepped forward pushing against Jim and in turn Jim stepped forward pressing his thighs to the sink. Taylor grinded a little against Jim and dropped the bottle of oil into the sink. 

Jim felt Taylor’s oiled hardness sliding against his ass. He loved the sensation but remembered something. He smiled with hooded eyes into the mirror and watched Taylor’s face. “You already put some on.”

Taylor remembered when he started giving Jim a back rub that Jim had been surprised because he thought they were going to have sex. “Strip. Oil. Pounce. I believe that was what you thought I was doing. Do you think that’s what I’m doing now?”

“I don’t think you pounce.” Jim whispered as Taylor used the mirror to scan over Jim’s chest and abdomen as if he wanted to lick him. 

Jim felt Taylor’s foot tap at the inside of his ankle, so he widened his stance. They continued to watch each other in the mirror. “Then what do you think I do James?”

Jim took a deep breath when Taylor leaned forward and grabbed his shaft with an oiled hand. Jim leaned back toward Taylor like he did when he was against the wall. 

Jim breathed out as Taylor’s slick hand started to move. “Make me crazy.”

Taylor’s lips hinted of a smile while Jim moaned with his mouth slightly parted. Taylor gripped Jim’s hip with his left hand then ran it up between his shoulder blades. “And what do you think I’m doing right now?”

Taylor was fixated on the expressions on Jim’s face and the way he struggled to talk. 

Jim closed his eyes when Taylor’s hand released the grip then lowered to trace oil lines over his balls then just behind them. Then his hand moved back up and returned to its tight slow pumping. Jim wanted to thrust forward or to make Taylor move faster. But, his thighs were already pressed to the sink and he couldn’t. “Anything you want because it’s later.” 

Taylor applied pressure to his hand that was on Jim’s back and gradually pressed him down some. Jim now stood slightly bent over the sink with his hands gripping the sides. Taylor remembered the promise of later and decided he was going to take him up on it this time.

Jim glanced down to see Taylor take the bottle. A few moments later, Jim felt Taylor’s hand wrapping around his throbbing shaft and his other hand that was now well oiled start to prepare him for the main event. The sensation of Taylor’s fingers made him want to push back against them, but the steady twist and pump of Taylor’s hand kept him pressing forward. 

Taylor felt the loss of the eye contact, and the hand that was stroking Jim’s hardness released and reached up and gripped his jaw. Jim let his head be raised as he reveled in the familiar grip that Taylor used when he wanted more from Jim. 

Jim’s eyes flicked open to see Taylor watching him in the mirror. 

Taylor’s deep voice reverberated back even as his fingers continued to ready Jim. “I want to watch you.”

Jim nodded yes just before Taylor’s hand pulled his face to the side for a heated kiss of tongues.

Taylor continued speaking with a strain in his voice. “Ready for me.”

Jim was so caught up in the moment that he had no idea if it was a statement or a question, so he offered encouragement. “Yeah.”

Taylor hummed an agreement and slid his fingers out. Jim felt Taylor pressing against him gently working his entry till he slid in part of the way. Taylor stopped moving his hips, but only moved his hand that was still working him as he listened to the sounds of pleasure coming from Jim. The sounds were enthralling. 

Jim’s eyes were closed, so Taylor leaned down and nipped on his shoulder. Jim’s eyes opened half way as he panted with desire for more. And, he was not disappointed when Taylor worked himself to the hilt. 

Taylor forced himself to take his time slowly working in and out for what felt like forever until he heard Jim’s voice. “Need more. Ohhh. Nathan. More.”

Taylor backed up some and pulled Jim with him so that Jim’s thighs were no longer pressed to the sink, which would allow him more movement. 

He allowed Jim to set the pace for a time as their hot slick bodies slid and thrust against each other. Taylor would nip at Jim’s shoulder whenever he moved his face so that he could not see the absolute rapture that was on display. 

When Taylor knew that Jim was getting close to the end, he moved him again to get a better angle. Taylor made sure the angle was allowing his hardness to work the area that he knew would push Jim higher during his release. Taylor’s desire for Jim to fully enjoy himself overrode anything else that might have pushed at Taylor. 

Taylor’s gravel voice beckoned to Jim. “Cum for me, James. Let me watch you.”

Taylor then stroked down with his hand and he thrust. He continued to work his body so that he thrust in as far as he could the same moment his hand slid down to the base of Jim’s shaft. Jim’s groans of pleasure seemed to reverberate throughout the room was not Taylor’s only reward for his wicked movements. 

Jim clamped down on him from within, and Taylor knew he would not last much longer either. Jim rested his head on the mirror as he was no longer able to think or even remember that Taylor wanted to watch him. With each new thrust, Jim’s head slid on the mirror as he moaned.

Jim was almost there, and Taylor felt Jim’s body tense and strain. Taylor instantly reached his arm around Jim’s neck pulling his head up to keep him from banging his head on the mirror and so that he could see his expressions. 

Jim jerked almost violently when he yelled out his release. It seemed to take the strength out of his legs as they shook from the wave that washed over his body. He felt Taylor taking some of his weight as even his arms seemed unable to fully function.

“My gawd. So good. Nathan.” Jim closed his eyes as if lost in the moment. “Nathan. My Nathan.” 

Jim’s strangled voice was the turn of Taylor’s tide. Taylor unleashed his hunger and thrust working himself to release with a thundering growl that mingled with the thunder from the storm outside.

Jim opened his eyes to lock eyes with Taylor again knowing he would never think of thunder the same way again. 

Taylor licked over the area on Jim’s shoulder where he had bitten a few times. Jim’s eyes flicked as he moaned out having no idea licking bite marks could feel like someone was licking other parts of your body that were just spent. 

Taylor pulled back then took Jim by the wrist as if leading him.

Jim smiled with a chuckle that sounded more like Taylor than him. “Uuuuhhh I don’t think I have another round in me.”

Taylor stopped at the shower and released Jim’s wrist to turn on the hot water. “In you?” 

Jim huffed. “Funny. I mean you were so thorough that I’m just not up for anything else right now.”

“Not up?” Taylor could not let it go.

Jim folded his arms with a smirk. “I walked right into that one.”

Taylor moved back to Jim and slid his arms around his waist. “No. I think I walked right up into this one.” Taylor smacked his hand down on Jim’s ass. 

Jim burst out laughing while thinking that Taylor lost his mind. He had never seen Taylor appear to be so happy before. He had to hold onto Taylor to stop himself from stumbling before he regained himself. “Don’t you ever stop?”

Taylor made a face that Jim recognized as one that he saw several times a day while Taylor dealt with civie issues. 

Jim smiled knowing that in the future when he saw the face he would know Taylor was thinking of a corny sexual joke or that the person talking was saying things that made him think of sex. “Just say it.”

“Thought you said you wanted more.” Taylor stepped into the shower making the face again. 

Jim nodded not trusting what he was about to say. He was about to say that he wasn’t saying anything because it kept him going. He guessed that Taylor would have come back with something about his voice getting him off instead of keeping him going. 

Jim started laughing again as he watched Taylor adjust the temperature on the water. “This has nothing to do with sex. You just want to get a shower?”

“Yes.” Taylor grinned and started rubbing soap on his chest. Within a few moments, Taylor’s hands moved lower to his abdomen. 

Jim stepped into the shower and took some soap. “You like messing with me.” 

Taylor made the face again.

Jim started smiling wondering what perverted thing Taylor was thinking. He rubbed soap onto Taylor’s shoulders then lower over his defined back wondering if anyone else knew Taylor’s secret. It felt nice to think that he knew something about Taylor that no one else on the planet did.

“No. Not even Wash.” Taylor concluded as if Jim had spoken out loud. 

“What?” Jim was not about to admit what he was thinking. He was already distracted by the sensation of his hands running up and down Taylor’s back. 

“No one else knows what I am thinking when I look like that.” Taylor bent over and washed the lower areas of his body.

Jim dropped his hands to Taylor’s waist as he bent over and felt the muscles play under his hands. “Just me?”

Taylor stood back up deliberately not facing Jim. He had intentionally allowed Jim to know his thoughts. He knew that Jim needed to have something between them that no other shared. He just hoped he did not end up regretting it later. “Just you.” 

Jim moved forward getting soap all over him. He ran his hands up the front of Taylor’s abdomen and chest. He pressed his face forward onto his shoulder and closed his eyes. Jim savored the feel of pressing himself to Taylor’s powerfully built body as the warm mist sprinkled on his body. The enjoyment had nothing to do with sex, but it had to do with closeness and intimacy. 

Taylor lifted his right arm and folded it over Jim’s hands and rested his hand over Jim’s left one. He ran his hand over Jim’s hand several times then stopped and pressed down. “Just you for as long as you will have me.” 

Jim’s eyes snapped open and he knew that Taylor was not talking about them leaving their women and just being together. Jim knew that it was a declaration that he would not be with any other men as long as Jim was with him. 

Jim moved so that he was watching Taylor’s profile then kissed the side of his neck. Jim felt as if something new and thrilling was happening, and there was a sense of hope and expectation floating in the steam. 

Jim repeated Taylor’s words. “Just you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End! Yes, Jim and Taylor love showers in my world. I have greatly enjoyed writing all the smut and angst between them. I might start on the next ep in a new story, but I might just write one-shots. I don’t know yet. It all depends on where the plot dinos take me. I had one for that glow in the dark paint, but I might use that as a one-shot because I did not use it here. I planned this whole hunting thing that might work better as a one-shot. I want to thank everyone who read along.

**Author's Note:**

> End of first chapter. What do you think? What’s next? Oh yes, Taylor spying on a shirtless oh so very hot Jim weeding the fence. I think we are getting closer and closer to a hot sexy Taylor Tackle! Hehehehehe


End file.
